Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How much advance notice would you give a child who needs tooth removed? So they can prepare themselves

27 replies

Uyhmo · 20/07/2022 17:28

My child is 12. He knows he need teeth removed for orthodontics purpose. I had to book appointment for it. And now wondering if I should tell Him a few days in advance? Day before? On the morning of the appointment? What does everyone think is best?

OP posts:
erinaceus · 20/07/2022 17:34

At 12, is he not fully involved in his healthcare, with your support?

Is he particularly anxious about having the tooth removed? If he is anxious and the appointment is months away I can see there might be some value in not mentioning it for a while, otherwise the idea of springing it on him on the morning of seems bizarre to me.

Mushroo · 20/07/2022 17:36

Was he not there when the dentist told you it would need removing?

Id just tell him asap - telling him the morning of would be super stressful!

Gazelda · 20/07/2022 18:00

DD gets a little anxious about these things and likes to bury her head in the sand to avoid thinking about things. On the other hand, she hates surprises.

So I generally just drop it into convo for the few weeks beforehand "you won't need to take pe kit in on Tuesday because you'll be at dentist". Or say to myself out loud "oh, I mustn't forget to tell boss I'll be in late on Tuesday cos need to be at dentist".

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Children's health Dental health General health
mocktail · 20/07/2022 18:15

What do you think his preference would be? Some people would prefer to know well in advance while others would have lots of sleepless nights! I think it's a very personal thing.

PeekAtYou · 20/07/2022 18:17

It depends on his personality.

One of my kids would want to know as soon as I knew. Another would want me to tell them on the day and only have a few hours notice or they'd be puking with anxiety until the appointment and the appointment would probably be cancelled as a result.

Hollyhead · 20/07/2022 18:20

I wouldn’t keep anything like that secret from a 12 year old! I was expecting the child in question to be 5 or 6.

Honaloulou · 20/07/2022 18:31

Also surprised that he doesn't know already. Now is a good time to talk to him.

Roselilly36 · 20/07/2022 18:33

If your child is a worrier, I would wait until the day. He knows he’s needing to have a tooth out, so it’s not like you are telling lies. It will be ok, been through this twice with my two DS’s.

Original poster
Uyhmo · 20/07/2022 18:45

Yes he was there when we discussed it at the dentist, he knows it is happening. It’s just the actual date of appointment. I think he has largely forgotten about it and is enjoying his holidays just now. I just felt if I tell him he will worry for ages whereas if I told him day before then it’s only 24 hours

OP posts:
Original poster
Uyhmo · 20/07/2022 18:46

Any tips roselilly, for the day? I think he has matured a lot in last couple of years. Before then it would have been really difficult

OP posts:
I8toys · 20/07/2022 19:01

I believe honesty is the best policy with my children and tell them the truth of any medical procedures. My DS had teeth out prior to braces and he just took it all in his stride. Absolutely no issue. I am sure your ds will be aware of what's required after previous appointments - just go over again and state its a short term pain for long term improvements.

vroom321 · 20/07/2022 19:03

When my dd was 9
(Last year) she needed a baby tooth removed. He said he could book it in or just do it there and then. She was fine.

SeaGrassMirror · 20/07/2022 19:04

We’re waiting for appointment to have teeth out prior to brace. My DD was obviously at the orthodontist appointment when they told us what would happen. They just said we would get an appointment as soon as possible. So I’ll tell my DD as soon as I know. She will be pestering me to find out though anyway.

MargaretThursday · 20/07/2022 19:13

I'd tell ds it's happening from when I first know as he likes to know.
I'd ask dd1 if she'd want to know the date or just like me to tell her as late as possible (dental phobia). She generally wants as late as possible.
Dd2 I'd give a couple of days notice so she could be dramatic for a day and then get on with it.

sunlight81 · 20/07/2022 19:17

If they know it's happening just not when, I would go for the morning of the appointment.

My anxious daughter would be up all night if I told her the previous like. Likewise I would have weeks or poor behaviour if I told her in advance as the stress would show in other ways.

I hate dentists and would prefer someone to make my appointments and then just tell me on the day - I'm 40 and hate this bit of adulting!!!

DuckBilledPlattyJoobs · 20/07/2022 19:22

Roselilly36 · 20/07/2022 18:33

If your child is a worrier, I would wait until the day. He knows he’s needing to have a tooth out, so it’s not like you are telling lies. It will be ok, been through this twice with my two DS’s.

I think telling him on the day would be a terrible thing to do and may erode his trust in you.
Some notice even if a short period is needed.

YourUserNameMustBeAtLeast3Characters · 20/07/2022 19:24

I had this with a 12 year old recently. It was on the Tuesday and I told him on the Monday morning, as I didn’t want him worrying all weekend about it.

272Newnames · 20/07/2022 19:27

We told our son a few days before.

We also sweetened it by saying that a tooth removed at the dentist meant a higher tooth fairy payment (we all knew he didn’t believe in the tooth fairy by that stage but it was a decent incentive!). So the idea of £10 a tooth definitely sweetened the deal (he had 3 teeth out about 6-8years ago).

YourUserNameMustBeAtLeast3Characters · 20/07/2022 20:01

272Newnames · 20/07/2022 19:27

We told our son a few days before.

We also sweetened it by saying that a tooth removed at the dentist meant a higher tooth fairy payment (we all knew he didn’t believe in the tooth fairy by that stage but it was a decent incentive!). So the idea of £10 a tooth definitely sweetened the deal (he had 3 teeth out about 6-8years ago).

We didn’t get any teeth back from the dentists…. Also the tooth fairy was broke after paying for the bloody extraction.

Puritizer · 20/07/2022 20:06

My 13 yr old DS has to have 4 out prior to braces. He heard the orthodontist say it. He’s had 2 very resistant baby teeth removed previously so knows what’s involved. Does anyone know if you can receive sedation when getting so many out. I don’t know if dentist will do all at same time or in 2 visits. I had 4 removed over 30 yrs ago but done under “gas”.

Original poster
Uyhmo · 20/07/2022 20:15

Puritizer , I had teeth removed also under gas! My dentist had previously indicated that if ds had really not wanted local then he could refer him to hospital. But apparently that all changed since covid they don’t take any referals any more and everything is done under local now.

OP posts:
Lottie4 · 20/07/2022 20:42

Our dentist mislaid the referral from orthodontist to remove four of DD's teeth. I raised the fact at a routine appointment and dentist turned around and said he'd remove them within a few minutes. DD took it in her stride as she was desperate to get orthodontic treatment under way (due to regular sores).

If I were you, I'd tell him now. That way he's got time to ask any questions.

DD was fine when she had her teeth out. We were last appointment of day and after getting bus home, there wasn't time to do change meal to anything softer - she just eat was she was given and didn't understand my concern if she was ok.

Bikeybikeface · 20/07/2022 20:50

Don’t make a big thing about it, you are going to make him anxious. Drop it into normal conversation such as on Friday we’ll do this and this, then you have your appointment to have the tooth removed and then we can watch a film/get takeaway/play games.
Joke about the tooth fairy (wink wink) paying extra for dentist removal.
Do you have anxiety input tooth removal? If you do, Try not to pass it on,

junebirthdaygirl · 20/07/2022 21:47

Bikeybikeface · 20/07/2022 20:50

Don’t make a big thing about it, you are going to make him anxious. Drop it into normal conversation such as on Friday we’ll do this and this, then you have your appointment to have the tooth removed and then we can watch a film/get takeaway/play games.
Joke about the tooth fairy (wink wink) paying extra for dentist removal.
Do you have anxiety input tooth removal? If you do, Try not to pass it on,

Exactly this. Don't make a fuss..he will pick up on your anxiety. Just be matter of fact. My dcs were always glad dh didn't do dentist stuff with them as he has huge dentist anxiety. I was the opposite so passed that on to them. We were in the dentist when he told ds 12 he needed two out as overcrowding and asked will l do it now. Ds nodded and out they came. Be relaxed yourself and expect him not to have an issue.

Original poster
Uyhmo · 20/07/2022 22:00

I will definitely try my best not to pass on any anxiety. I am not an anxious patient myself at all I am fine with dental treatments and any fillings, tooth removal etc I just get on with it. It’s just different when it’s your child. Also telling him a few weeks in advance e surely makes it more of a big deal that he needs to be warned about in advance. Maybe a couple of days before is best

OP posts: