Please help with my cat phobia

[Chiversthecat]

Hi,
I am currently in Turkey where there are cats everywhere and people love them. I have had a cat phobia since a child, my mum also was terrified. When I became a mother I worked on my phobia through CBT as I didnt want to pass it on. All my children love cats with a passion and would love to have one (or two) as a pet.

I thought I was over my phobia. My friends have cats and I was able to go to their houses etc. I still feel a bit of panic but I try to squash it down.

For me its the weaving in between my legs, the pouncing and I am sorry to say I find their faces scary. I love dogs. But I just fear cats.

We are now on holiday and my phobia has flared up. I dont mind if a cat is sunning itself, I can walk past it. But the fear is that it will come up to me and rub against my legs, I feel so scared.

Any tips gratefully received.

My DF used to hate cats, and when he came over, would sit very quietly and calmly and ignore them... which of course, made his the ideal lap to sit on!

If you're worried about it just keep jiggling, moving your legs, and making noise - they'll find someone else to bother!

Just clap your hands to shush them away.

Maybe you could get a water spritz (people have them for cooling themselves) and give any cats invading your space a squirt?

Agree that hand clapping works a treat to shoo a cat away from you. Direct eye contact is also good for keeping them away. Don’t eat anything smelly like fish or meat in their vicinity.

I used to be afraid of cats however when I was 23 a cat adopted me as his slave, and I've been a Cat Slave ever since.
It's very difficult when you're frightened of something and have a phobia but it's great that this hasn't affected your DC. I don't have any advice as such, but wanted to tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Exposure therapy works wonders.

Hi OP, I've had quite a bit of direct experience of addressing phobias (although I'm not a therapist).

Did your CBT include exposure therapy?

Oh I feel your pain. I would face Goliath but I couldn’t face a cat - I’m absolutely terrified of them. I’d love to be able to love them, I really would

@Hidehidehi that is great advice. I usually just move away when they come in a calm manner and my daughters coo over them. They are very well fed and cared for in Istanbul. People leave bowls of dried food and water everywhere.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor I do that and it works for a bit and then they come. I seem to be a magnet for them!

@ErrolTheDragon I was seriously considering the water spray and my kids said I am so mean and unkind!
I cant relax and eat outdoors. Lose my appetite when the cats come.

@WhatInFreshHell wow! Thats amazing to hear. I cant believe it wasnt long ago that I did a family and cat photoshoot for a client. I dont know how I have regressed.
My husband says I should use this time to work on my phobia.

Thank you everyone. Xx

Could you find someone with a really chilled cat?
Mine doesn't weave or pounce, he's basically a stuffed teddy bear with one tooth

Water spritz doesn't hurt a cat, it's not cruel, it will just make it go away from you. If you're struggling so badly I'd use that, it's not like you're kicking it in the face or approaching a sleeping, minding it's own business cat and spraying that

@LadyCampanulaTottington yes it really does.

@pastaandpesto my CBT was around 15 years ago at the GP surgery. I then visited a cattery myself. The lady in charge was so kind, giving up her time and selecting a gentle old lady of a cat for me to be exposed to. I will also remember the lady's kindness and generosity.

@Kingoftheroad I dont know what it is about them. Maybe its their relatives- the tiger and lion! Im happy with big and bouncy dogs but cats just creep me out. I need to stop thinking of them as creepy! Irs not helping!

@PeloAddict Im usually fine back in England. My brother has a cat as do several friends. I dont know whats happened. My phobia has flared up. It doesnt help that my 8 year old stocked up on cat treats from Asda and packed them with her! She now carries the treats with her everywhere. The cats think I have treats in my handbag too!

@Insidelaurashead thank you for that. I did feel guilty when my kids said that. Im fine with cats as long as they dont come near me and rub their bodies against me.

I have cats. I wouldn’t think you were being even slightly cruel if you sprayed water at them. Phobias are awful. I love my cats but cats can be arseholes! They can ignore being shooed away. Water won’t hurt them but would make you feel safer.

I find projecting the thoughts of wanting to give the cat a cuddle makes it avoid you!
Sorry that I’ve made that sound flippant, but they know when you want to touch them and they run off, whereas my friend that hates cats attracts them!
On a practical note, if you keep walking then it would want to get out of the way in case you tread on it. Rather than try and touch your legs.

@Wolfiefan thank you for that. Even though I dont like them, I dont want to be cruel so it makes me feel better to know that Im not!

@TiaraBoo thats really interesting. Will give that a try. We just went out for a walk and I petted the huge ginger cat that lurks outside our hotel. Progress!

I had a friend who misconstrued their facial expressions. She thought narrowed eyes meant they were thinking evil thoughts and planning to harm you. I told her it was the exact opposite - narrowed eyes mean that they're not concerned that you're a threat, so they can stop glaring, and a slow blink means they trust you.

Rubbing against your legs is to transfer their scent onto you. It makes you part of their landscape and is another trust thing.

I've become much more tolerant of spiders by learning about their behaviours, particularly watching videos of cute peacock spiders and their semaphore dance, and weirdly by being bitten by a false widow spider. It made my hand go a bit numb but it wasn't that bad... so just how scary can they be?

Might be too late for this holiday, but definitely give desensitising etc a go. Living with an irritating, and possibly recoverable-from, phobia is not fun.

@elfycat thats really interesting. I just hate the feel of their bodies against my legs. It started when I was in a cafe and suddenly I felt something under the table! Urgh! I hate that. The slinking around.
But yes definitely trying to desensitise and work on my phobia which irritatingly has come back!

Of course you’re not! There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to engage with someone else’s pet!
I used to be phobic of snakes. Started with being able to see pictures. Then watching on TV. Eventually I held one. Still not keen. But less likely to faint if I see one IRL!
Phobias are horrid.

Cats don't like citrus. You could try wearing a strong lemony/grapefruity citrus perfume?

@Wolfiefan thats amazing how you worked on your phobia.

@GoodVibesHere thats a brilliant tip and I love lemony scents. Might help with the dratted mosquitos too!

I’m not going to lie. It took years and I will never want one as a pet. But I went to not even managing to look at a picture to holding one. And actually finding them quite interesting!