What would be easier on a young child?

[Miriam101]

a) Taking them out of one nursery aged 3 to put them in the preschool attached to the primary school they'll go to for a year before Reception. Will know loads of kids in Reception as more than half go to this preschool. However will have to resettle in a different setting at an age when this can be tricky.

b) Keeping them in the other nursery until they're 4 and then sending them to Reception in a setting that will be unfamiliar and where they will probably know a handful of other children (prob about 3 or 4.)

Interested in hearing people's thoughts and experiences as many many others must have been in this position before. I may be overthinking this!

How many days a week do they attend and how long have they been there?

I think if they're happy now, knowing 3 or 4 kids is ok. Mine doesn't seem too bothered by knowing or not knowing the kids she'll be in Reception with!

My daughter is in reception which had a nursery attached to the school. She went to a different nursery/preschool.
She is very happy at school, but doesn't go on any play dates. I don't know if that is because of me or because she didn't bond with the other children at preschool.

I don't know how play dates happen.

Move them as early as possible.

In our school, all the years do a couple of transition days in July so that nursery visit the Reception class and teacher, Reception visit Y1 etc. It would be good to get them included in that. Most 3 year olds will adapt to a new preschool setting.

Also - this will probably seem a long way off and only a minor point - but when they leave in Y6 ime theres usually a montage/video/cake or whatever with photos of them in nursery when tiny. With my eldest, I felt sad for the kids that joined later and were missing in earlier pics. With Dc2 who moved schools in juniors, I felt sad that his face was missing from the really early group photos. But then I am a bit soppy like that, it might not concern you!

I think you probably are overthinking it a bit, either option would likely be absolutely fine. IMO the majority of children at that age don't really have settled friendship groups the way older kids do, they quite often swap around who they play with and change their preferred 'friends' frequently anyway so it's not a huge advantage going into reception already knowing all the other children, not to say all 4yos have wonderful social skills and will instantly be on best friend terms with a bunch of strange children of course but the ones that make friends easily will probably enjoy having lots of new people to meet and the ones that don't will probably just need a bit more time and development regardless of having been at preschool together if you see what I mean. The staff should be perfectly well used to helping the struggling ones out a bit as well and watching out for anyone left out at playtime or similar, in the early days at least. IIRC mine at that age seemed to forget all about their nursery friends if they didn't see them for about a week so starting back after summer holidays was basically a complete fresh start regardless of the ones that they'd been at nursery since birth with and the ones that were brand new, maybe mine were particularly lacking in the social connection department though lol! In fact I do remember a bit of upset from one of my more socially clueless ones who was upset for a while that her nursery 'best friend' was more interested in the new children when they went up to reception and not as bothered about playing with her anymore so in fact it probably would have been easier if she hadn't known anyone at all.

I also wouldn't worry too much about familiarity with the setting, I guess yes if they are already used to the journey and the playground that's a few less new things but the change from either pre-school or nursery is a big transition anyway even if they've been at an attached pre-school, new adults, different routine, greater expectations of them etc so again I don't think it's desperately important the choice between them, most children seem to settle to it fine within their first term even if they've never been in any kind of formal education or childcare at all never mind been to a different nursery, and again the ones that struggle probably always would regardless due to special needs or being the youngest in the class or whatever.

I would just pick whichever option works best for you and your DC for the time being and worry about school later, if you are happy with the current nursery and s/he's settled there then I probably wouldn't move for the sake of it but if the pre-school is more convenient or offers more then go for it...

I'm doing (a) with my 3 year old this year. She was at a private nursery part-time for 18 months, and it was okay overall but she seemed to dislike it by the end. I'm sending her to the school preschool in September as it has been recommended to us, and I thought it would be good preparation for school. We'll see how it goes!

Hard to say as I think it depends on the individual child's temperament really.

Our school is a similar set up to yours. The mums whose kids went to pre school together have a much better mum network and swap after school childcare etc.

As pre school was school hours I'm assuming the mums did a lot of socialising around pre school. That would not have worked for us as both work full time.

Similarly childcare swaps tricky as I do t have a non working day, just for work around dd and use after school club as well.

I’d do A. All the preschool kids will be in the same boat as new starters so I imagine the focus will be on settling initially and it should make starting school really easy. We did it that way and it was fantastic. The only issue is if you work as presuming it’ll be term time only and it can be a struggle to find holiday clubs willing to take them that long.

I'd pick whichever is the better preschool for them.

Both my DDs went to reception in schools hundreds of miles from their preschools, joining established classes as 90% went to the attached preschool. Within weeks no one could remember who had started when.

(As for the pictures in Yr6... weve been asked to send one in of our kids in Reception whichever school they were at to make the montage.)

We left DC in private nursery until they moved to Reception. We didn't really have a lot of choice as needed the longer nursery hours and holiday cover that we wouldn't have at a primary school nursery/pre-school.

When DC joined Reception we had a few bumpy weeks of settling in whilst the majority of children knew each other and were familiar with some of the routines but by the first half term you wouldn't have known who had been at the school nursery previously.

What happens if you move them to school nursery now, and then they get a different primary school?

I'd also gently suggest that the Y6 photos is a bit of a red herring. Please don't base your decision on what a school might or might not do for one occasion in 7 years time.

We kept our DC at their fantastic private nursery with high staff-child ratios. In September, DC will join a reception class made up of around half children from the school's nursery class and half new starters. But the nursery our DC attends is much better than the preschool attached to the school and has a much more outdoorsy ethos and emphasis on physical activity. When I visited the preschool, I thought it focused far too much on being a pre-reception year rather than just letting the children play and develop at their own pace. It was too much a preparation for school (which I thought reception was meant to be). I think it's all about personal preference though and the options you have available. Preschool hours aren't all that much use if you're working (though wfh makes it easier, I suppose).

I think either option is absolutely fine so just do whatever works best for you as a family - for us school nursery would have been so much less practical compared to private nursery as we both work that we didn't even bother looking at it - or if there's no significant difference there just go for whichever setting you get a better vibe from.

We did b) but I wish we had done a) it took DD a while to settle into her new school, she'd settled by the end of Y1 but this wasn't helped as YR was 2019/20 and obviously we had the lockdowns in YR and Y1. We are in a village and a lot of the kids already knew each other from preschool and it took her a while to integrate. If the new school is in a town/ somewhere kids will have come from a lot of different settings I'd stick with b) as it won't be so much of a problem.

We're doing option b. DD is so happy where she is that I don't want to move her now. If the nursery was less good or she was less settled then I would but it just seems too big a risk that she doesn't settle in the new place. There will be lots of children starting reception from a variety of nurseries, or none at all, that I'm sure she'll settle fine. I have agonised over it though and am feeling a pang of guilt that we picked a nursery so far away from her primary school, but it was the best nursery we looked round by miles so that was more important at the time.

Usually attendance at a school nursery does not guarantee a reception place so you may not end up with that school.
My daughter attended her primary nursery class. They did morning and afternoon as separate groups so in total there was more children than would be permitted into reception (30 places). About half stayed for reception.
By Year 6 no one could really remember if someone wasn't in that original nursery class.

Depends which setting is better for them. My kids always started school not knowing anyone in their class and it was never an issue. And had the bonus of having friends that attend other schools.

Thanks all- lots of different things to think about but also, as many have pointed out, it'll probably work out much of a muchness in the end anyway.

DS is only 2 so hasn't started yet but has just had the offer a place at the nursery our DD went to before school to start in September. It's a lovely, lovely place - the only problem was that she knew only a handful of kids in Reception and the ones who went to the attached nursery (and their mums) seem to have formed quite strong bonds. I don't want to make that mistake again. I worry a bit that it's left her out of the playdate stuff- not that that's such a disaster as she seems perfectly happy.

Having said that, if he's half as happy at the nursery as his sister was, it'll be a wrench taking him out of there.

Grateful for all your wisdom!

I went for the second option. DD doesn’t know any children going into her reception class. It’s approx half from the nursery and half “new” to the school. The short hours and term time only offered by the school nursery just wasn’t feasible for us as working parents and she loved the nursery she’s at so I didn’t want to create more upheaval than necessary.

I think it will most likely work out fine whichever option you choose, go for what’s going to fit in best with your lives - e.g. I don’t know any oldest or only children who moved to school nurseries but more younger siblings have, because that might become the more convenient option once there’s already an older child at the school.

I would move now. Some kids would be fine moving later but some find it harder to integrate when half have strong bonds already.

Either's fine. By 6 weeks into reception they will have sorted themselves out either way.

Do they both run the same weeks or is (a) term time only and (b) all year round? If you need childcare then IMO it is much better for DC to be somewhere familiar and consistent than having you scrabbling round to piece together 12 weeks of childcare cover.

(a) is lovely if it works for you as a family, but not worth trying yourself in knots for. As PPs said go with what is most practical and which setting suits the child now.

My son went to a wonderful nursery attached to a school but it was a catholic school and we were not religious so had to rely on catchment and he just missed out, he was one of the only 2 that went to other primary schools as we got our second choice.

He was absolutely fine joining reception knowing no one at all. I'd leave them where they are if they are happy based on my previous experience. There's no guarantees with primary admissions anyway so worst case scenario you could move

Sorry not quite finished!

Was going to say you could move intending to get an admission to that primary school and not get it anyway!