Went to my first big gathering in 3 years thanks to covid. It's always been difficult because I have little ones who all run off in different directions and I'm always too busy chasing after them to get near the buffet table etc. I thought this year would be easier as the dc are older now (youngest is 8, although he is autistic) and I might even get to eat some food there for the first time since 2015 but dh couldn't go due to work and dc were all so excited that I didn't have the heart to say we weren't going.
So we get there and I end up doing my usual thing of trying to make sure the youngest doesn't drown himself in the massive paddling pool and every so often do a frantic head count to make sure older ones haven't disappeared or are annoying people and that my teen with mental health issues is relatively happy. All par for the course and I think that maybe next year, especially if DH comes then it might be easier.
Then I realise that other parents of toddlers much younger than my youngest are calmly sitting, chatting and drinking pimms, something I've not done at an event like this since about 2005. Said toddlers are either being looked after by adoring pre teen cousins or generally running around unsupervised and being ignored when they wail because someone else's dog has taken the food off their plate.
Now I'm wondering if I will ever be able to relax at this kind of thing or if I should cut my losses and tell the dc that Auntie X isn't having a birthday party for the next 10 years and that anyone we know getting married is eloping.