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Is this normal with young people?

2 replies

50mg · 18/07/2022 18:47

Ds1 is 21yo it's none of my business, there's nothing I can do, I won't do anything, but let me talk it out here?

He has a GF. They've been together a year and he is absolutely smitten still. They were very serious very quickly and have stayed that way. DS doesn't really see his friends anymore. I've tried to encourage him to keep old friendships up, but he's not listening.

He is always at GF's beck and call. For example this evening he has picked her up from work, spent an hour with her, now she's going out with her best friend (who happens to be male) and DS will collect her later to spend the night here.

He always seems to be waiting for little snippets of time she can give him.

It seems a very odd arrangement to me, but "she's allowed friends you know." Yes she is, but so are you and yet you don't see them because you're always waiting for her to summon you fit you in. (Obviously I don't say this)

Plus he genuinely doesn't seem to mind that she's spending the evening with another man or that he's not invited to join them or maybe he does and that's why he's going to (insisting on?) collect her later.

Obviously I can't say it...I really expected it to fizzle out when they were so intense so quickly, but that hasn't happened.

OP posts:
TheFridayRabbit · 18/07/2022 19:07

I don’t think it’s normal, no. I think it sounds as though your son doesn’t value himself very highly. It’s the sort of thing that a lot of women used to do. Wasn’t healthy then either.

I would be unhappy to see one of my children do this. I wouldn’t confront them though. Sounds like he needs to somehow gain more confidence and self respect.

50mg · 18/07/2022 19:24

TheFridayRabbit · 18/07/2022 19:07

I don’t think it’s normal, no. I think it sounds as though your son doesn’t value himself very highly. It’s the sort of thing that a lot of women used to do. Wasn’t healthy then either.

I would be unhappy to see one of my children do this. I wouldn’t confront them though. Sounds like he needs to somehow gain more confidence and self respect.

Yes, this is what worries me. They met just as he was going through a horrible time personally as as his life ambition had come crashing down because of a failed medical and I think he's dealt with it by becoming completely absorbed with this relationship, which is his issue and not at all healthy, but I'm not sure she's treating him right either. 😥

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