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Is this an acceptable wedding reading for someone who has a toddler?

93 replies

Dilemmaemmaaa · 17/07/2022 23:39

I saw this clip on Facebook today and balled my eyes out at it 😭 If you have little kids get your tissues ready before watching!

www.facebook.com/1623394992/posts/pfbid0HthuYejjGeRi2Pxst16jdYjfQdXfsRsEawK3GeS93vJ6mLfZbtyfuPSovWAZmXjnl/?d=n

We’ve got a toddler and we’re getting married in September. I know it’s not your traditional soppy wedding reading but it does sum up our life and love for each other. I think I’d change a few bits that refer to ‘kids’ to make it suit someone with just one child but is this an acceptable reading for a wedding ceremony do you think?
I will attach the reading below.

The Future Can Wait

Dear Husband,
There’s a life in the future with little faces in photo frames instead of before our eyes, and artwork and abc magnets won’t adorn our fridge.
There’s a bed big enough, where little elbows & knees won’t prod us in our sleep and only our feet will swing out in the morning.
There’s a vase placed in reach of little arms because there aren’t any, & mugs will daringly sit on the edge of the table.
There’s a bank balance that looks a bit more forgiving & a bag I leave with that isn’t overflowing.
There’s a free calendar that isn’t packed with swimming lessons, dance classes and muddy sports shoes. And we’ll get to know each other for a third time, before them, with them, & then when only two jackets hang at the door.
There’s a clean car, the only noise is the hum of the radio. There will be no endless questions in a high pitched voice from the back seat, there may even be days we don’t hear from them at all.

There’s a date night with no curfew, my mums not needed for babysitting, & we aren’t sleeping with one eye open waiting for the shuffle of feet down the hallway. A type of freedom that feels heavy.
There’s a house that’s clean, maybe our couch is new, we aren’t stepping on Lego or toy cars either. In fact there’s not much colour anywhere. Remember how it came with so much happiness?
There’s a dinner table that feels big, we aren’t negotiating bites of vegetables or wiping little hands & mouths. But sometimes there’s a knock on the door & the table is full once more.

There’s a shower that doesn’t sound like baby cries, a coffee that is warm and my body will be my own. We won’t wear tired the same way but time will have aged us anyway.
There will be hard moments to come that will make these moments look easy, but we’ll remember.
We’ll remember the first words, the curls, the “I love you’s” the moments we almost broke, & how we held each other through it all.
There’s a life in the future and it’s coming for us. So let’s get swept up in the beautiful chaos in front of us.
Let’s make the future wait a little longer. Because I love this life with you so much, this one right now.

OP posts:
daisypond · 18/07/2022 08:17

I’m fond of this short poem called Habitation by Margaret Atwood, but it’s definitely about marriage and not a wedding - probably not suitable for a wedding celebration, though it is celebratory in its own way.

Marriage is not
a house or even a tent

it is before that, and colder:

the edge of the forest, the edge
of the desert

the unpainted stairs

at the back where we squat

outside, eating popcorn

the edge of the receding glacier

where painfully and with wonder
at having survived even
this far

we are learning to make fire

pitterypattery00 · 18/07/2022 08:20

At a friend's wedding the first reading was nice - very much focused on relationship and marriage (rather than children) and was short and flowed nicely. Several people said in conversation during the day what a lovely reading it was. I think it was called 'Cake' or something like that. It began with the lines:

Today is the icing on the cake
And all the love it took to make
Each........(I can't remember any more, sorry!)

The second reading was less successful, a piece of long prose that was delivered monotonely. Definitely choose people who are confident public speakers to give the speeches - it's all in the delivery!

2bazookas · 18/07/2022 08:23

Its excruciatingly awful.

Just write a speech about what you're looking forward to as spouses

"There's a day in the future with no more bloody periods, PMT, morning hard-ons, two hour commutes, mother-in-laws and mortgage payments; all we have to do is put up with each other for a few decades and remember to plan for our pensions."

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Alwayswonderedwhy · 18/07/2022 08:25

If you're a live, love, laugh, hubby, hun type of person it's perfect.
Otherwise NO!

Octomore · 18/07/2022 08:26

Oh go no. This is the most awful twee reading I've seen. And it's too long. Way too long.

EV117 · 18/07/2022 08:26

Acceptable, yes.
Toe curling and cringeworthy, also yes.
Please save your guests the secondary embarrassment of reading that out loud with a straight face.

If it means that much to you though, maybe save it as a private performance for your other half on the wedding night 😂

OrlandointheWilderness · 18/07/2022 08:33

Personally I adore this by Rupert Brooke.

Is this an acceptable wedding reading for someone who has a toddler?
ferneytorro · 18/07/2022 08:34

I already knew that Mrferneytorro and I were completely emotionally retarded but this really reinforces it. Never occurred to either of us to write our own vows, say a poem or do anything like that. Surely this stuff is only for funerals - you don't say gushy things to other adults when they are alive!!

SeptemberDreams · 18/07/2022 08:36

I love Seamus Heaney’s Scaffolding as a wedding reading. It’s always particularly apt if you, OH or your family has any links to construction!

Scaffolding by Seamus Heaney

Masons, when they start upon a building,
Are careful to test out the scaffolding;

Make sure that planks won’t slip at busy points,
Secure all ladders, tighten bolted joints.

And yet all this comes down when the job’s done
Showing off walls of sure and solid stone.

So if, my dear, there sometimes seem to be
Old bridges breaking between you and me

Never fear. We may let the scaffolds fall
Confident that we have built our wall.

Hoppinggreen · 18/07/2022 08:37

Not my cuppa but your wedding should be very personal so if you like it go for it

DaisyWaldron · 18/07/2022 08:42

I really like Scaffolding and, along similar lines, Atlas by U A Fanthorpe.

There is a kind of love called maintenance
Which stores the WD40 and knows when to use it;

Which checks the insurance, and doesn’t forget
The milkman; which remembers to plant bulbs;

Which answers letters; which knows the way
The money goes; which deals with dentists

And Road Fund Tax and meeting trains,
And postcards to the lonely; which upholds

The permanently rickety elaborate
Structures of living, which is Atlas.

And maintenance is the sensible side of love,
Which knows what time and weather are doing
To my brickwork; insulates my faulty wiring;
Laughs at my dryrotten jokes; remembers
My need for gloss and grouting; which keeps
My suspect edifice upright in air,
As Atlas did the sky.

AngelinaFibres · 18/07/2022 08:44

DiscoBadgers · 18/07/2022 00:16

First Date
Brian Bilston

We’d so much in common, that was clear from the start:

a marriage of souls, like de Beauvoir and Sartre.

The connection was instant, almost irrational:

simply simpatico, fully compatible.

You confessed you loved winter, North Yorkshire, and cats.

‘Me, too!’ I responded. ‘How amazing is that?’

You were wild about Wharton: you loved Ethan Frome.

‘His best,’ I said, thinking I’d read him when home.

You praised a revival of Pinter’s Dumb Waiter.

I nodded along. I should google that later.

The discussion then turned to things that you hated:

Tarantino, you thought, was quite over-rated.

‘You make some good points,’ I eventually said.

I could always hide that box set under my bed.

You spoke of a loathing of poetry that rhymed

and I said yes,

that stuff’s awful.

Pretentious shite.

Blossomtoes · 18/07/2022 09:00

Seriously? 🤮

Mamette · 18/07/2022 09:04

Good. Would be my response to that poem. Because I wouldn’t want the small child stage to go on for longer than it naturally does.

Can’t see what relevance it has to a wedding.

AuntieMarys · 18/07/2022 09:08

I would be eye rolling my way through that. Just awful.

VoyageInTheDark · 18/07/2022 09:20

OP if you think readings are cringey just don't have one! We didn't.

Moneymonkey · 18/07/2022 09:21

OP, I hated wedding readings when we got married 5 years ago. So BIL read Baz Luhrmann's "everybody's free to wear sunscreen" as a reading (we edited it a bit) which was quite nice. And the guests thought it was funny and unlike anything else they'd heard.

Luidaeg · 18/07/2022 09:23

Christ no!

Also, it's a couple talking about the future when they have dc (ie they dont have any now)* *

Octomore · 18/07/2022 10:53

Aside from the tweeness, the worst thing about it for me is that it totally omits any mention of the actual relationship with your partner. You know, the person you're marrying?

It really does sound like something you'd read if you only got together/stayed together because you were desperate to have kids, and then became one of those parents who gave up everything they enjoyed pre-kids, so they have nothing else to talk about when they are around other adults.

RedRec · 18/07/2022 11:12

Barf to every reading on this thread apart from the Pam Ayres one.

AnuSTart · 18/07/2022 11:15

VoyageInTheDark · 18/07/2022 09:20

OP if you think readings are cringey just don't have one! We didn't.

I think OP actually loves it (looking at first post) but has been shocked into submission by the horrified response.

AffIt · 18/07/2022 11:17

I like the Seamus Heaney one.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 18/07/2022 11:22

There is lots and lots of poetry I love, but IMO the only thing you need to say at a wedding is "I love you".

I absolutely love being married to DH, I'm just not that keen on weddings Grin

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 18/07/2022 11:23

Obviously you need to say all the "I do" bit as well!

DiscoBadgers · 18/07/2022 11:23

@AngelinaFibres not sure you’ve understood the poem. It’s literally mocking pretentiousness 🤣