If you’ve lived with someone dependant on alcohol to any extent….

[Piev]

How did you find their general moods?

I wonder if my DP’s moods were attributed to this. Often preoccupied, anxious, tiny bit paranoid, low until he had a drink then he’d relax.

Alchohol is a mood altering chemical so yes, someone dependent on it will likely have mood fluctuations due to what's going on in their brain, plus like any addiction there'll be an element of anxiety about where/when they can have the next drink and withdrawal symptoms if they go too long without one, plus a good dose of shame, regret and fear for the future thrown into the mix, it's a potent cocktail if you'll forgive the pun. I lived with my Dad who was a more or less functioning alcoholic for many years and then witnessed his eventual descent into definitely not functioning, and his moods/emotions were absolutely affected - in the functioning years, his pattern went irritable/flat/tired/mildly depressed in the first part of the day until he could have a drink, then increasingly elated and full of charm and bonhomie after his first few, descending more and more into belligerence or florid melancholy (no-one loves me or my life is ruined were his constant refrains in this mood), followed by horrible depression the next day, unable to get out of bed, or when he did a bad tempered bag of anxiety with the hangover/withdrawal symptoms, easing slightly through the day and then the pattern would start all over again. I came to hate the 'happy', 'relaxed', full of laughs and jokes evening version of him pretty much just as much as the weepy mess later on or the snappy daytime mode, none were 'real' moods as all just caused by the booze, or rather they were hideous exaggerations of his real personality....

I note you use the past tense, have you and your partner broken up? I'm sorry if so. It's very hard to live with, you do tend to get glimpses of the 'real' person underneath and see what things could be like if only they kicked the booze, my Dad would go through phases of giving up, do really well and then something would happen and he'd be back on it, so horrible as your hopes get raised and then dashed. Sorry if this is teaching you to suck eggs but there are support groups for relatives/partners/friends of alcoholics which may be helpful even if your partner is not around any more? Or there's a good support board on here too

It depends which period of their alcoholism you want to know about OP. My mum followed in her dad's footsteps and became an angry, paranoid, argumentative, sad and neurotic drunk. There certainly wasn't a happiness to any of the drinking for either of them. Therewas violence and anger so yes, it did affect the mood and of course the Hangover the next day would be spent in sullen silence and my mum was not to be approached during this time either. My sister was the same but at least when she had the first 2 drinks she was funny and friendly, but she would always turn angry. My Dad however was a barrel of laughs and would do the silliest things to make people laugh, not in an irritating way he was just genuinely funny and he didn't have an angry bone in his body.
My 30 years of experience of living with people with this affliction have demonstrated that it affects your mood in different ways but personality certainly plays a big part.

@maxelly I read your comment and it resonated very deeply with me, there was always a vast rainbow of moods available from my alcoholic family members (except my Dad) and even the early drinks happy mood made my stomach turn in the end because I knew what was coming. My heart goes out to you because not many people give a fuck about the carers of alcoholics ❤❤

My dad is a functioning alcoholic (in that he is a lovely person, has had a very successful career etc) but he is always very quiet and placid. Alcohol has absolutely no impact on his personality weirdly. He drinks excessively daily though and is dependent, although he doesn’t start until the evening. He’s never been a whisky with cornflakes type but drinks at least a couple of bottles of wine plus many glasses of brandy or whisky every night.
i know he’s unusual though in that he doesn’t get loud, angry, violent, anxious or withdrawn. But equally that’s how he’s got away with it
for so long. It makes me sad that we will lose him young though because of it. He’s early 70’s, just retired and I don’t think he will make
old bones which is devastating as we are close.