Is a night nanny/day help worth it?

[Theopp]

DP works away in the forces. I have the first two months alone. Will a night nanny help with a mix of help every 2 days for 5 hours?

I don’t know what to expect.

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by this Will a night nanny help with a mix of help every 2 days for 5 hours? but having a solid block of sleep every now and then when you have a newborn, is a life changer.

If you don't have parents / in laws who are able to support you, and you can afford it, then I absolutely would encourage anyone to pay for someone to help occasionally.

When you are shattered / sleep deprived, everything seems impossible.
Of course, there is a slim possibility that you have a really really easy aby who sleeps lots from the beginning, but, lets be honest, most people don't.

I think you’d be best spending the money on a cleaner and some sort of meal delivery service.

I would prioritize sleep over cleaning. Any day. Go for it OP.

I'd try and have a full night rather than 5 hours. I'm surprised you've found a night nanny willing to do a five hour shift tbh. But, yes, a solid block of sleep will help massively.

I got a postpartum doula who could do night nannying. Yes: it was worth it.

Are you planning on breastfeeding? If so I can't see any point in a night nanny as you will need to wake up anyway.

Personally I would have found a break in the day most helpful. Maybe a few hours in the afternoon so you can nap or get out for a bit plus a cleaner.

I would have killed for a night Nanny. I'd probably prefer 8 hours once a week (or however often you can afford) it'll keep your sanity knowing you're going to get a solid sleep in the next week.

Yes if you can afford it it will only make things better!
post partum doula who did a few nights per week for me was an absolute game changer! I didn’t have family help and couldn’t have done it without her.

Also to add I breastfed and Doula would bring baby in I would feed for 10 minutes or so and then she would take her back to settle/change etc meaning I would just turn over and go back to sleep!

If this is your first baby and you don’t need to work therefore you can crawl back into bed when the baby sleeps in the day I’d invest in a cleaner twice a week….. enjoy being with your baby. It’s the housework that drove me mad

Me too

If you can afford it, absolutely.

Maternity nurses are trained in not only care for the newborn but care for the postpartum mother- being aware of mental and physical health issues that can arrive post partum and supporting you in your new role as a mother.

They should also be trained in feeding techniques, reflux etc

A good maternity nurse can be a total asset, especially if you're doing the first two months alone- it could be the difference between feeling completely alone and overwhelmed and having someone there to ease the load a little, who you can pass the baby to knowing they're in safe hands and go and sleep.

Looking back now. I wanted someone to help me. Even after two weeks I couldn’t walk properly. Would have wanted someone to have done the dishwasher , made meals , cleaned the house , made bottles. So I could just sit and rest. Babies don’t do much for the first little while. But I needed the help.

also could have had done with someone who would have just sat and talked to me. Cannot tell u how lonely I felt during the first few months.

Humans are not meant to do the post-part I'm period alone. There's something wrong with our society (misogyny, probably) that expects women to do all the day time care, all the night waking and all the housework/food preparation.

In the past I assume that other female members of the family would pick up the housework and watch the baby for a few hours while the mother slept, but we don't live in multigenerational households any more.

But in as much support as you can afford - the better rested and more relaxed you are with your baby the better for you and baby.

What you need might depend on the baby to a point - one of my dcs was a very efficient night feeder so I wouldn't have needed a night nurse, but I would have loved someone to come in at 8am so I could hand the baby over and have a shower/go back to bed for a few hours. If they had done a bit of housework as well that would have been great.

With my other dc I would have done anything for someone to do the night settling as he took 45 mins to settle after every feed.

When I was pregnant I was planning to have a night nanny, but I was scuppered by the pandemic.

I'm actually really pleased because I completely surprised myself by breastfeeding and cosleeping. I just couldn't sleep if baby wasn't right next to me. Cosleeping meant I got about 12 hours of sleep a night, waking every couple of hours for a dozy feed. It was lovely and I really treasure those memories.

What I would have found really helpful was for someone to come in for a few hours during the day to do the cleaning and the washing, make me a hot meal and hold baby whilst I had a shower or a little lie down. That would have been bliss.