Is this a normal feeling?

[ChickenSandwichandCupofTea]

Not sure which board this belonged on so hoping chat is okay :-)

I’ll preface this by saying I have a beautiful baby daughter of nearly 4 months old. She’s my whole world and I love her more than anything. I realise every day how lucky I am and I always wanted this, and wouldn’t swap any of it for anything.

However since becoming a Mum I’ve felt kind of nostalgic or grieving a bit for my life pre-baby, but couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Today I went to a get together with some friends, all of whom are childless (we’re all in our 30s) and they were discussing their nights out, their drinks after work, holidays planned and I felt a bit…jealous? Not quite the word but came away realising that what I miss I think is the spontaneity they all have. Does that make sense? Do other people get this too? And does it go away over time? Thanks for reading my ramble :-)

i still get pangs of jealously when I here x person is having the grandkids so mummy and daddy can have a night/few days away without the child.

I never had that with my kids. My sisters did, grandparents including our mother would have their kids for weekends. Me nothing I swear it’s because I was the only single parent in the family.

@PoppyDrug That’s so unfair, I’m sure it wasn’t easy x

Totally & utterly normal. Massive life change becoming a mother & only natural you'll grieve the person you were & life you had before. It takes time & real friends will support you - tho those without children simply don't get it until they have their own. I only truly accepted motherhood when my second was a year or so old - so about 4 years in! By then all my old friends were in same position & we all kind of moved on together. It's a tough time. Talk about it.. other new mums will feel the same xx (& if they don't, they're not your people anyway!!)

@twordle Thank you, you’re so right that those without kids don’t get it. Some of them wanted me to have a few drinks and stay over with them instead of the long drive home, which was kind of them but forgetting I have a little girl who I can’t just leave overnight on a whim. Glad though you say it does get easier x

Oh I shifted from being a college lecturer to full time carer and chef for husband! I was on a serious WTF? But then I slowly fell more in love with my child, decided We d have another when she got to 6 months and was really grateful to be pregnant and st home while she was still napping .. and then life really changed and I embraced motherhood fully… I suppose I accepted that this was my time of life for this experience and accepted it? Good babysitters helped though .. and we all need to escape sometimes…