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Original poster

Secondary liver cancer - what to expect?

15 replies

Lottapianos · 16/07/2022 20:04

Sorry for grim topic but posting here for traffic....

MIL has been diagnosed with primary gallbladder, secondary liver. No option of surgery or chemo. She has been in poor health generally for several years (type 2 diabetes, heart failure, COPD). Her mobility and independent skills had declined massively in past 8 weeks or so. Since diagnosis about 2 weeks ago, she has lost even more weight, is not eating much, sleeping a lot and looks very jaundiced. She is mostly lucid when awake, but has been making the odd strange / confused comment

Her original prognosis (2 weeks ago) was maybe 6 months, that is now maybe 3 months. Thinking of her decline, I'm pretty sure we're looking at weeks not months. I don't even know what I'm asking - I guess just some similar experiences or professional opinions. We know she is dying, we just hope that she continues to be pain free. I would just value some other thoughts from folks who have been through similar with friends or family. Thanks x

OP posts:

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 16/07/2022 20:11

I’m sorry to hear this. My mother has secondary skin cancer with unknown primary, like your MIL she has heart failure and COPD, she also has MS and her health if very fragile I doubt she will be suitable for any treatment. Does have a McMillian nurse?

Original poster

Lottapianos · 16/07/2022 20:16

So sorry to hear about your mum. My MIL is in hospital, has been for about 5 weeks now. There are plans to move her to a nursing home when a bed is available but honestly don't know if she will get that far

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justforthisnow · 16/07/2022 20:20

I am sorry your MIL and your family has had such bad news and I hope she is as comfortable as possible, re pain.
If no surgery or chemo is on offer, then it would/should have been explained to her or her next of kin that she is now on a palliative pathway which means all curative options are no longer possible and the aim for her is to be as comfortable as possible for whatever time is left. Pain relief etc will of course be offered.
She should be under Palliative Care team either in hospital or in local hospice, they will have a nurse assigned to her who can answer all your questions and help with care over the next while. Re time, it's hard to predict but given her co-morbidities and recent jaundice possibly weeks rather than months. Wishing you all strength and peace for the journey ahead x.

Hotpinkangel19 · 16/07/2022 20:21

I'm so sorry. The not being awake much/other symptoms suggests from my experience that it sounds like you should mentally prepare for it being weeks rather than months.

Original poster

Lottapianos · 16/07/2022 20:22

'Re time, it's hard to predict but given her co-morbidities and recent jaundice possibly weeks rather than months.'

That's my thought, but just felt the need to put it out there and check with others. Thanks for your very kind message x

OP posts:

justforthisnow · 16/07/2022 20:25

Lottapianos · 16/07/2022 20:22

'Re time, it's hard to predict but given her co-morbidities and recent jaundice possibly weeks rather than months.'

That's my thought, but just felt the need to put it out there and check with others. Thanks for your very kind message x

caringcarer · 16/07/2022 20:43

My Mum had primary pancreatic and secondary liver cancer. She went yellow in the whites of her eyes. Thankfully not in much pain. My Mum came out of hospital and because she was only given 3 - months we looked after her at her home. I have 4 sisters and between us we moved in with Mum a few days a week each. In the end she only had 6 weeks and tbh we were grateful when she passed as so horrible to see her lose so much weight and in final 2 weeks she did not eat at all and only sipped water. She slept most of this time, just waking to smile at us and sip water. We tried all her favourite foods but she would not eat. Her GP prescribed high calorie milk shakes and fruit drinks but she refused those too. It was very distressing to watch. We could only manage her care at home because there were 5 of us and a McMillan nurse came twice each day too. She had a driver fitted into her arm for pain relief and nurse was so kind and wonderful to us too. Brace yourself for a couple of weeks after whites of eyes go yellow. If you or DH need to to tell her anything do it sooner rather than leaving it too late. Sorry your mil is having to go through this dreadful illness. Also even though you know it is coming it will come as a shock. My sisters and I all took a couple of weeks off to get over the immediate grief, plan funeral and recover from caring duties.

Norma27 · 16/07/2022 20:57

My mother in law passed away last week. The end was very sudden, but I think that was possibly a blessing. She started to feel pain in her body that day. She had deteriorated a lot in other ways though. My husband and family still believed there were weeks/months left on the final day. I did think it was days probably. Sending lots of love to you all.

UncomfortableSilence · 16/07/2022 20:57

I'm so sorry, my DF passed away 18 months ago, he was taken in after problems swallowing, he had oesophageal and spread to brain, lungs and liver when diagnosed. He spent two weeks in hospital and came home for us to care for him. His prognosis was 6 months. He declined quickly, the weight loss was horrific and he passed away two weeks later. We were able to keep him pain free which was a blessing, it was a terrible shock as he hadn't been unwell prior to this.

I would try to prepare, although you can never really prepare yourself, for weeks possibly. Sending

justforthisnow · 16/07/2022 21:49

Sending lots and lots of to everyone on this thread. Cancer is a bastard.

Footballmatchdilemma · 16/07/2022 21:56

Sorry to hear this @Lottapianos . The same happened to my dad and the end was very fast (he only lived 4 weeks from diagnosis). My advice is for your mum to stay in hospital or a hospice rather than to go home because there were times my dad was in real pain and I was so glad we were in hospital and it could be dealt with quickly. If we’d been at home I don’t know what we’d have done.

Original poster

Lottapianos · 16/07/2022 22:02

Thanks Footballmatch, and I'm so sorry about your dad. MIL is in hospital and will either be staying put or moving to a nursing home, definitely won't be moving back to her own house

Huge hugs to everyone who has shared their stories on this thread x

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blackheartsgirl · 16/07/2022 22:28

I’m so sorry. My husband had secondary liver cancer (primary cancer was in his colon) and he deteriorated very rapidly after diagnosed, died 3 weeks after diagnoses

nothing on earth prepares for this, nothing. I found the rapid weigh loss, the jaundice and I remember looking at the bruises on his arms that never went away, just got darker and darker and I knew at that point that he wasn’t getting better .

he stayed in hospital and then passed away in a hospice. I couldn’t care for him at home. I still feel guilty about that

my mum now has oesophageal cancer

💐 for people on this thread.

cancer is truly a bastard

user850301848172 · 16/07/2022 22:41

I'm so sorry op, it sounds like she has a very short amount of time left.

I hope she passes peacefully and comfortably.

Original poster

Lottapianos · 17/07/2022 07:16

I'm so sorry blackheartsgirl. It's hard enough seeing a parent or older relative going through this, but losing your husband in this way sounds really harrowing. There is no way I could care for my partner at home either, I'm sure most of us would feel the same. Life is just bloody unfair sometimes x

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