Wrong end of the stick

[steviewiththecankles]

A while back I was talking to a friend. She was telling me her and her girlfriend were trying to spice up their sex life and were thinking about getting a chicken. I was totally bemused, thinking did she mean alive or from the fridge or what. I couldn’t figure it out. I asked what on earth they would do with it. Turns out she actually said “get a chick in”. So relieved! Have you ever got the wrong end of the stick?

Not quite as badly as that!

Ooh that's funny 😂😂 when I was a child one of my sister's had a friend called Amanda. She called to our house and they were playing for hours in our bedroom, I was playing out on the road when a neighbour came up to me asking "is a man in your house". I said no thinking weird asking me that, then ages later all the neighbours were running up and down the street and Amanda's mother was crying. They thought she'd be taken, they were so panicked, then I piped up that Amanda was in our house where she'd been all day. 😳😳 The neighbour who had asked me was so angry with me, kept shouting at me to wash my ears out and stop lying.

My Dad was telling my sister about a lunch meeting with his boss. I wasn’t paying much attention until I heard “Then he gave me a wedgie”. His boss is so mild mannered and straight laced, I was so shocked! Until he repeated what he’d said - “He gave me his wedges”. Apparently his boss is on a diet!

My DD confused Neopolitan and Napoleon recently. She told me excitedly that she had worked out that the ice cream was named after the French Emperor.

In a newish job I asked someone if they had just started. She said "No I haven't just farted!". Turns out she'd just returned from maternity leave. Maybe she was feeling a bit windy?