Need advice about possible OCD in teens and/or trained counsellors in Leeds

[Maximo2]

My 16 year old ds is fixed in negative thought patterns where he is convinced he is a bad person. The actual reason changes, but can be things like he is convinced he is racist, or a bully, or a paedophile. He is none of these things, he is a lovely person. He is exhausted by the things his mind keeps telling him, in tears much of the time. I don’t know how to help.

We managed, after lots of tears and persuasion, to get him to the GP and he explained it well. It’s been going on since lockdown, which we didn’t realise. The GP was wonderful and referred us to something called The Marketplace, where there are drop ins and appointments for half an hour.

We managed to get one, and he saw someone on his own yesterday. And has been worse since. This lady told him that there wasn’t any help he could access for weeks, that the waiting list was really long. That he could continue to see people at drop ins but the appointments are hard to get and that it would be a different person every time, which she didn’t think would be helpful.

I have got him another drop in next week but agree that seeing a different person is not going to be very helpful. But we seem to have come to a standstill here. Who can we see that will actually treat him? And is qualified to deal with something that seems to be actually a serious problem? Google brings up lots of counselling services but how do I know who will help and who is just what seems to be a very well-meaning person who is just an ear to listen?

He is in his third bout of tears this morning and I don’t know how to help 😔

Sorry, this sounds really difficult for you both.

If he is experiencing intrusive thoughts then it's really important he is seen by someone who has more than a counseling background. You can refer him to the Children and Young People's Mental Health Services (CYPMHS) you can find out here:

https://www.leedscommunityhealthcare.nhs.uk/our-services-a-z/camhs/contact-us/

If you are 13-17 years or the parent/ carer of children aged 5-17 years, you can talk directly to the Single Point of Access (Mindmate SPA) team. Call 0300 555 0324 during office hours or make an online self-referral.

Best of luck.

The ridiculous online help forums or crap drop in cafes are a waste of time. He needs to see a specialist who can advise medication and or targeted talking therapy before it gets any worse.
If you can afford it going private is in my opinion the only way you will actually get the correct help for him sadly.
This is from experience and my DD is now so much better on medication and after sessions talking to the psychiatrist and psychotherapist.
Sometimes the brain cannot get out of the loop and anti depressants helped dial down the constant noise for my DD so that she could feel more in control and try the strategies they suggested.

There is an excellent book called ‘overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts’ it is absolutely brilliant.

get that for him.

the reason he is so upset by these thoughts is because he is the opposite of all those things, that’s why it’s scaring him.

get the book. Good luck.

Here is the book:

I have recommend it to so many people and one woman actually wrote to me and said it changed her daughters life.

My DS had OCD from a teenager. If you can afford it you need to go private.
DS saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed it and he was then referred for CBT with a psychologist who specialised in OCD. Neither a councillor nor a drop in will be the answer

Thank you all for your brilliant advice. I will be doing all of the above.

Hello. I'm trying to PM you but can't for some reason! If you are able to msg me that would be great. I have a teenage DC very similar.

Have pmed you.

@Maximo2 I hope you got some help for your DS. Sounds like a form of OCD to me.
I hope he realises the reason he is distressed by these thoughts is because he is not that person. If he was, he would get a sense of pleasure or a thrill from them. The very fact he is distressed by them, tells us he is a good person and would never hurt anyone. He needs to be told that and reminded of that.
these are intrusive thoughts, not who he really is.
CBT +/- medication is what he needs. Councillors are not equipped to deal with this, he needs a psychologist for cbt and a psychiatrist if meds are deemed necessary.
He will be ok with the right help but it can be a lengthy road. My dd is on this this road too, so I totally understand how distressing it can be for everyone involved.
The very best of luck to you and him.

IAPT are for 16+ and should offer CBT for this but waiting lists will likely be long.

for private go

For private go to the BABCP website (not BACP!) and find a fully accredited therapist using the register.

Disagree that he needs an psychologist or a psychiatrist, a good CBT therapist will be able to work with this no problem.

and meds may not be necessary, definitely worth trying a therapeutic intervention first.

This is a great website that explains OCD very well. The psychologist is in US so can’t support UK patients but this centre follows same approach feelinggood.uk.com

Oops forgot to post site with the excellent articles drmichaeljgreenberg.com/understanding-pure-o-you-are-not-having-intrusive-thoughts-all-day-you-are-ruminating/

well worth a read! Especially the article on the core fear

Pm me, I have the details of a great teenage counsellor in Horsforth. You will be waiting months with Camhs or Market place, this guy is great if you can pay for some sessions

What @JudyGemstone says. OCD needs CBT, not counselling. Try the BABCP website for therapists if you want to go private, or the local IAPT services. Not all IAPT services have long waiting lists. Please make sure that the therapist is BABCP accredited. There are lots of people who claim to do CBT who are trained to a high enough standard to work effectively with OCD.
Hope you get something sorted soon

@JudyGemstone yes, I agree the right CBT therapist could be very beneficial.
I went down that route ( privately) initially with dd and it did work temporarily but her ocd returned fast and furious once sessions stopped.
She now attends a psychologist through CAMHs and has only recently started medication.
I agree that therapy is the first step and meds only required if therapy isn’t having the desired affect. That’s why I said +/- meds.
Finding the right therapist can be difficult but hopefully someone here with experience of therapists in Leeds can recommend someone good.

I hope things have improved for you and your son.
Truly a horrible thing to suffer from and agree with PP that these thoughts are the absolute opposite of who he is.
I also want to say you have done a fabulous job that your son was comfortable telling you about this.
I never told anyone when I was a teenager and it impacted my life hugely, especially with boundaries and what I thought I deserved.

As well as seeking professional help I would very much recommend a book called 'Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts'. Written by experts in this field with compassion and understanding and totally appropriate language.

Wow, thanks everybody, and especially @Blackopal for those kind words - I really needed to hear that right now. To cut a long story short. I found a private therapist in Chapeltown who has been absolutely amazing and we are making very small steps to unpicking my ds’s issues, which are v complex and have lots to do with lockdown. The therapist works with very severe CAMHS cases in his everyday role. My parents are paying for it, thankfully. I can’t think where we would be without this, we were really in crisis.

I just feel so sorry for all those teenagers who are stuck on that very very long waiting list with no hope of seeing anyone - it’s scandalous, it really is. The GP was very sympathetic and diagnosed depression alongside everything else but wouldn’t prescribe because he is under 18. The Marketplace were useless, basically told him the waiting list was huge and that he could do drop ins but it would be a different person each time and that it wouldn’t help him, set him back weeks actually. We got the book but he couldn’t recognise himself in it at all, even though his dad and me thought it described him perfectly.

I think he is slowly getting better, long way to go. Thanks again everyone 😊

He is accredited, my sister sent the list to me 😊

@Maximo2 delighted you found someone that you can trust to work with him. It is truly scandalous that you have to go private for this and so lucky that your parents are paying for it. It will be so beneficial to your ds and I’m sure your parents are only too happy to be in a position to help ye.
The very best of luck, sounds like you’re on the right path. It maybe lengthy and may have some set backs but he will get there with all the suppports in place.

Have you looked the the OCD UK charity? They have a lot of excellent resources and links. Also the UK parenting children with OCD Facebook group - a lot of us have been there and can give moral support or advice.

No, I haven't, Thank you - will look these up.

Thanks @Thisiscrazyshite. I do feel we are getting somewhere, albeit v slowly.