Coeliac teenager, how not to miss out

[QueryA]

DS (13) has coeliac disease, just diagnosed this jan. we are coping okay home, food swaps and substitutions are working out fine. However he is really struggling with lunches at school and going out with friends.

school lunches, he doesn’t like gluten free bread much, only really tolerated it as toast. He isn’t keen on the wraps or thins either. He doesn’t want to take soup or salad (not that he eats salad) as he feels self conscious. Most of his group of friends walk down town for lunch and eat greggs or buy sandwiches from local shops or chips etc. I really struggle to help suggest what he can have. At home he has GF fish fingers or GF toast or something. I don’t want him coming home for lunch as he’ll miss out on important socialising and friendships. The school canteen is tiny and not really set up for gluten free.

similarly socialising at weekends. He wants to go out with his mates. But so much of it centres round pizza and wandering town buying doughnuts or sausage rolls. He just feels left out and a bit more depressed every time he has to explain he can’t have that to his mates.

I know there are bigger problems in the world. But he’s really down about it. Almost mourning the ‘life’ he expected. It would have been easier if he was diagnosed younger when I could control his diet a lot more, or older where he is more accepting of salads or sushi or stuff.

anyone else with a diet restricted teen? Nut allergy/diabetic/coeliac? How do yours cope?

DD was 16yo and in 6th form when diagnosed. Think she lived on jacket potatoes and chips in the school canteen while she finished school. She's never really been part of a group where they wander round town eating food - could he take a gluten free sausage roll out with him? Cereal bars, safe chocolate could be bought in town?

She goes out for meals with mates and manages OK, she has the added disadvantage of being vegetarian. But most pizzas chains do gf pizza, she likes Pho and Wagamama as well.

Expect the mourning of an expected life lost. Also, age 13 is hard to a) learn a new life and b) stand up to peer pressure. His mates will also have some learning to do.

Can you have the mates over a few times and feed them all? Not just oven chips but gf pizzas, bake cakes and biscuits etc for them all? If they all eat it then they learn themselves that it not exactly funny food and, with luck, looking for something to eat while out and about will be more of a team effort. Keep it very casual.

Howe, the mates might eventually notice that ds doesn’t spend quite so much time in the loo!

I am also Coeliac and I don't know if you have a Tesco near you but they are starting to do takeout GF sandwiches in their lunch grab and go bit. There isn't a big range but usually a chicken salad or something. Costa also do a GF sandwich if you have one of those near. I do feel his pain though, you tend to have to be a little more organised which teenage boys just arent!

Some supermarkets do GF sandwiches, out sainsburys does,

Out Pizza Hut do GF, a Big Mac without the bun is GF, mcd chips are fine, subway do GF sandwiches

Have you tried different brands of bread? The only pre-sliced GF bread I personally can put up with is Promise (well, a couple of the supermarket premium-end ones are okay).

For sandwiches, I mean. I'm less fussy for toast.

My ds is 17 and gluten free. He eats mcdonalds chips with his friends. We are lucky in that we have a gluten free fish and chip shop so that is ok. M&S do some gluten free sandwiches and wraps which are nicer than the bread you can get at home. It is very difficult because not every place has a big enough Supermarket that they will do the gluten free versions of things. My ds tends to take out a thermos of rice (but he is autistic and doesn't seem to be affected by peer pressure, so your ds might not want to do that).

Greggs sometimes have a small bag of gluten free brownies. If they do them they tend to be at the front by the tills.

I would worry about cross contamination on McDonald's. My teen just has a packed lunch at school, but his school isn't in striking distance of any shops so that helps.

School have to provide an alternative menu (and it shouldn't be just a jacket potato and beans 5 days a week as my ds was offered). Ask for a meeting with the catering manager its amazing how quickly they can step up. Dc suddenly got curry and rice, fish and chips, pasta and sauce, tacos, flapjacks etc.
Re going out ds uses subway, if friends going to McDonald's he just has chips, domino's, Costa, pizza hut and nandos. Also has a selection of things we keep at home he can take out. Find out if there's any independents that do gf, we have a great cafe that does gf and dairy free. Also so any of your local chip shops do gf? Cornett do a vegan ice cream that is gf, some magnums are too.
Ds was diagnosed aged 5 so to him it was normal and we have seen a big change in provision over the years but he did go through a phase of 'its not fair' in his teens. Especially as he didn't remember how ill he'd been, he then accidentally ate gluten was really ill and realised it wasn't worth it.
It's early days it will get easier, if he can be open with his friends that will make it easier (ds wasn't until recently but they've all been great since they've known).
The dietitian challenged ds to try one new food a week his choice which helped us all think about broadening his diet. We also signed up for lots of gf companies who sent samples which helped dc decide what he likes. Tesco bread rolls, glutafin thins and bfree pittas are what he will eat. It is trial and error.

All of the above... there's a lentil pasta which looks orangey, but once boiled looks less so, this is gluten free, I usually buy mine in tesco.
Also look at jd seasonings online, all their seasonings are gluten free, bbq rub, Cajun, fajita, chips n wedges there's loads of them to choose from.
What about GF porridge... maybe you could make flapjack.
Promise GF bread ( I find it in Sainsburys) this is my favourite.
Old El Paso do a G F wrap, these are great, there's really no taste difference, they make great tortillas too.
Check out Becky excel on Instagram, she could be on fb too, she's got a GF recipe book and she does a lot of videos around meals she's made GF.
Rice spring roll wrappers off Amazon are great for spring rolls or making a rice paper wrap with dipping sauce.
GF granola in tesco is great choice for breakfast. I'm not a fan of some of the other breakfast cereals though.
You can buy GF pizzas in the frozen GF section in tesco.
I think tescos own falafel are gluten free too.
There's GF lasagne sheets in tesco.
Check out seedful, all gluten free breads, oh he likes seeds.
Hope this helps op

I find these to be the best for sandwiches.

• if he likes seeds

My ds has multiple food allergies. It was easier for him in a way because he was diagnosed early, and accept it, and surrounded by understanding friends.

But yeah, it must be hard, I can imagine.
There are different kinds of breads, if he only needs to avoid gluten, then the choice must be more available than my ds who's allergic to dairy/wheat/egg/many more. You should try out different brands.
Eating out with friends are hard, but my ds normally brings his own food, and manages it, but it's due to his friends understanding too.
So, maybe he should explain his situation to his close friends, and ask them to support him, like choose the places do GF version of foods?

Warburtons do a gf “thin” square roll which is ok. Rolls are definitely better than bread for sandwiches

Thanks everyone. It’s just a bit of a learning curve for him. Being a teenager is difficult enough it seems without the challenges of not being able to eat like his peers. He is quite self conscious anyway, and this doesn’t help. Thanks for your suggestions, I’ll pass them on.

I'm sure you have seen it before and I appreciate it's hugely dependent on where you live but just in case take a look at this.
Are there any particular chains he's missing out on?

Sounds a little strange but have you tried making sandwiches with cold toasted bread? They are loads better.

It's not quite what you asked but I really rate Becky Excell's recipes

glutenfreecuppatea.co.uk
She has a couple of recipe books now as well. Loads of her cakes etc are easy and taste great. My dh who is fine with gluten eats them quite happily.

No real suggestions but I can sympathize as my youngest is coealiac and at almost 12, he feels really self conscious about his diet and absolutely hates occasions where food is involved! He hates missing out but he also loathes it when people make an effort and provide something gluten free as he just hates being different from his friends.

My DD (12) is going through this at the moment and the social side/mourning is definitely a thing. Would be worth speaking to the school. DD's have been fab and have made up batches of GF brownies and her favourite cauliflower cheese for her and have frozen batches so they are available to her. It's a tiny secondary though.

Oh and if you have Instagram, follow some gluten free hashtags as gf people will often post when they've eaten out somewhere great so you can get tips.

My 13 year old son was diagnosed at the age of 3 so fortunately he's quite used to it. We heat up M&S gluten free sausage rolls and wrap them in tin foil for his packed lunch. A lot of chippies cook the chips in seperate fryers to the fish even if they don't do gluten free battered fish. Nandos is fine too.

My dd is 13 and was diagnosed after her younger sister. It’s very tough for her. When she goes out with friends it can be very awkward and difficult. No advice except try and replicate what he likes to eat. We find lunches very tricky as well as the bread isn’t very nice.

My DD was diagnosed the same age. She found it so hard at first.

So sch lunches, she takes her own. She used to hate the bread but she is used to it now. When she doesn't fancy a sandwich she takes a couple of hard boiled eggs and her usual snacks, crisps, fruit etc. Sch isn't really great for gluten contamination so she doesn't eat from the canteen.

Socialising, her friends have also adapted and will have fun searching for places where they have gluten free selections. I'm not sure why they find this fun. Mcds chips and milkshakes she will have.

DD used to feel rubbish but now its so natural that it doesn't fuss her. She also made the mistake of just thinking 'screw it' for one day. She had a big hot dog on a normal bun! She said she hated the doughy feeling of bread and the pain after was just not worth it.

Your son will get used to it. I haven't really give advice, but just sending you some reassurance that it won't always be a massive thing for him. When DD was diagnosed it was 2 months before lockdown so it was easier. We adjusted through lockdown and by the time she was 'free' she was over the initial upset/frustration.

I've found Warburtons Tiger loaf is the nicest but it's expensive. Genius brioche buns are great for Mcdonalds burgers, nice and soft.

Yes McDonalds will happily let you take your own bread roll and do you a bun free burger. But I get it might make him feel self conscious. Thankfully Dd doesn’t mind.