Has anyone managed to get over the awkwardness of gift receiving

[Byronalso]

If so please please please share your tips with me

Ever since I can remember I’ve dreaded being given gifts. I feel like I don’t know how to react, that I’m either not appreciative enough or too gushing and it comes across as fake. Every reaction just seems staged or under/over the top. I’m so jealous of people who gratefully receive gifts and seem to enjoy it

Christmas gives me horror but my children are now used to it so tend to just leave me alone to open gifts. The idea of a birthday party and everyone watching me open presents is horrendous.

I have a friend coming on Thursday and she’s already told me she has a gift for me and I’m dreading it. I don’t want to put it to the side and open later because that seems rude and she’s so excited to give it to me

please help!

This sounds quite bizarre to me. I've never come across anyone who (notably) suffered this. Would a few sessions of therapy be worth trying?

I absolutely hate getting gifts. When I first met DH I managed to talk him into no gifts for birthday/Christmas and when they DC were young that's where all our money went. Then the DC became older and encouraged us to buy for each other, so we do it for them. I hate it. It makes me feel horrible. I am autistic though.

I don't like it either OP. But it rude not to open there and then unless it's a party situation where you have many people all arriving with gifts all at the same time.
I think you've just got to get on and do it.

What about acting ?

Ahhh yes, I understand. But the older I've got the better I can manage this. What I did is to watch how other people reacted to gifts and copy their behaviours.

You are not alone...

Omg, yes. I feel incredibly uncomfortable watching people open gifts I've given too.

The torture of sitting in a circle at Christmas, taking it in turns to open presents... I hate it.

I attribute my mother apologising for the shitness of every (perfectly fine) gift before anyone's even had time to open it, as the reason I associate gift giving with anxiety & cringe, rather than pleasure.

OP Just think that the person giving the gift has thought about you and chosen the gift with care, and accept it in the spirit it has been given is the best advice.

I don't know how to get over the awkwardness, I guess I'm just lucky to have understanding relatives. They still insist on buying me birthday gifts but they'll just drop them off for me, they don't want to stare at me opening gifts.

This is a good thing to think.

I have a friend like this. It’s only that I know her that I’m not offended. But really it does come off as rudeness.

Not so much now but during family Christmases as a child/teenager where we would share all the presents out and then take it in turns to open them with everyone watching used to make me cringe so much and go bright red, I hated it!

I thought I was the only who hated getting presents. I like buying presents for people but hate receiving them. I really struggle to unwrap them. At Christmas I have to be made to open them as it’ll get to New Year and I still won’t have unwrapped them. I’d be very pleased not to be given any more presents.

Just pretend you're American and fake it

I'm not mad on getting gifts either.
Maybe it's time to make space/clutter/finances the excuse and have some "no-gift pact" conversations with friends and family.

Suggest spending the money on meals and coffees together instead.

You are not alone in this, OP, I totally get it and it was just the same for me for yearrrrs. I just can't take without giving but when it's my birthday or something that's centred around me, it's kinda supposed to be that way. I've found my balance by giving people small gifts too or bringing them baked goods or going with other nice gestures. For parties I'm making a thank you Smartshow 3d videos in the style of an award show speech because everyone already knows I'm awkward around gifts, so it's a fun moment for us all to laugh at.

I'm the same. Hate people giving me gifts. My parents eventually relented and now if I buy something, they ask if they can transfer the money. I often decline, but I'm in control.

If anyone turns up with a gift, I've learnt to say "thank you, it's lovely, can I get you a cup of tea" . And we move on.

1. "Thank you"
2. Something you like about it
3. "That's so thoughtful"
4. "Let me pop it over here and I'll have a proper look / read / use later"
5. Move on.

"Ah, thank you – the colour's lovely! That's so thoughtful of you. Let me pop it over here and I'll try it on properly later. How have you been?"

"Oh, <friend's name>, thank you. This will be lovely to sit down and read this evening with a cup of tea. How thoughtful of you to think of me. Let me set it over here out of the way for now so it doesn't get crumbs on it. Can I get you something to drink?"

I'm exactly the same. Actually, we're all pretty similar in this household. Christmas morning is a huge festival of disappointment, not in the gifts themselves, as we're pretty good at the giving part, but in our failure to adequately express appreciation. Ideally we'd all sit in separate rooms for the unwrapping and only come out when we're happily using the presents given.