Yes this is irrational and I know I shouldn't be upset because I have DS.
Our ttc journey was long winded, took over 2 years to actually get pregnant and then a further year to have DS.
DH and I haven't been preventing for the past 2 years, as we have been in a situation of if we have another no problem. However as with DS, nothing is happening, maybe its because we're not "actively" trying, we just haven't been "actively" preventing.
Anyway, we're in the process of selling and buying, we're in a 2 bed, we're buying a 3 bed, with the intention of having another child in the 3rd bedroom... however, we've just been doing the maths, and have realised, we actually couldn't afford another child with the way the cost of living is going up. Yes we'll have left over money come September, but it's only what we stop paying when childcare funding kicks in.
Sorry, I'm just feeling a little sad that we wont have a small age gap (3.5-4 years) if we do have another child. DH and I are only in our early 30s, so it's not like we're pushed for time on a second. It's just, it feels a bit shit that we won't likely have a second anytime soon and I'd like that. DH is very blasé about it, he doesn't mind if we have 1 or 2 or several children.