I need a thick skin

[Serena1977]

Just qualified as a primary school teacher
In placement with another just qualified teacher from the same
Neither of us have got a teaching post for September.
My trainee colleague was approached by the head before a higher level teaching assistant was advertised internally and told if she applied, she would get it. I have not been approached myself.
My trainee colleague was told to keep it quiet but she told me.

I know I'm a good teacher learning my craft because I've been told I am. But I have also been told by my mentor that I am too emotional when I receive criticism, too emotional generally in life, that I wear my heart on my sleeve and worry too much.

I have always been like this, my personality i suppose (not helped by an emotionally abusive mother).

How do i get over this particular situation? Speak to the head, ask her why, though expecting I already know why?
And generally for anyone in the workplace:
How do i move forward, grow a thicker skin, build resilience etc because I absolutely love teaching, I'm good at it, I've got a lot to give and I want to be successful.

Can I ask how your emotions manifest themselves when receiving something you perceive as criticism?

@Divebar2021

Nothing happens outwardly there and then but for the days following I need reassurances that my work is good. I worry I'm not good enough, I seek praise from others.

My self esteem is low, imposter syndrome is high, and I come across as a worrier

So the other PGCE student is going to be a higher level teaching assistant at the placement school?

I wouldn't go and ask the head. Presumably you already get feedback from observations so you are aware of what the school think of you?

I also wouldn't take it as a judgement against your teaching skills. It may be that they think you're both good teachers but the other student is a better team player and that's vital for the role of HLTA.

Register with some supply agencies and also work on your self-esteem/interpersonal skills in the meantime.

@Cyberworrier

Yes, the other pgce student.

Yes I do know exactly what they think of me. Both positive and negative so how do i work on my self esteem when things like this happen? Situations like this chip away at my self esteem.

What do I need to do/show regarding my interpersonal skills etc?
I don't find this sort of thing easy.

For your wider issues, I found DBT really helped me to become more resilient and less likely to get really upset in situations that didn't warrant the extreme reaction.
It's a kind of cognitive behavioural therapy.

Maybe worth looking into?

I would say that it is very important to be able to handle criticism in teaching. Particularly when you are starting out, it generally is constructive and aimed at helping you become a better practitioner.

The only person I knew who quit from my PGCE group just absolutely could not take criticism. She ended up having very strained relationships at placement schools.
I did get upset on my placements in various situations but managed to get through them and learn from both the feedback and how to have better relationships with colleagues.

Good luck moving forward, I'm sure you can get through this.