Can someone please advise me on best option re: resigning

[OnTheGoAlways]

Hello, I posted on employment but had no reply...

Looking for advice or similar situations.Bit of background...I've been in current Post since March in HE, I work FT 3 days in office, I'm a single parent to 2 DS, the youngest (7) is being assessed for ASD. He hit crisis starting around May, when my grandmother almost died and LL told me she was considering selling our house of 8 years. Ds2 was isolated for 2 days, I already met with the school regularly to support them and they support me, but around May the school was phoning me asking me to collect DS whilst I was in meetings. Then ASC told me they could no longer look after DS. I called in sick due to stress and to be there for DS (which saw a big improvement in his regulation and reduced repetitive movements). This was 5 weeks ago. I cannot fulfil my current hours without ASC. We live rurally, there are 2 childminders in the village who are full and not able to meet DS needs anyway.I interviewed for a PT post in another HE for 28 hpw and only 1 day in the office (I feel like a bit of a failure going PT but even if I only do this for a year to get some equilibrium back to DS). I got the post, and they offered to put me at the top of the scale so I will lose about £700 annually, and agreed a start date after summer holidays.I have a call with my current LM today about going back to work on Monday. Do I just tell her the truth now? Do I tell her some of the truth but not tell her I have a new job?Any advice would be great! I'm just very nervous and feel like a burden.

I'm not clear from your post what 'tell the truth' means - what would you be telling the truth about?

I mean it depends on your relationship with your manager ... all you really have to say is that you've gotten another job that suits your family life better ... if you're LM is nice & reasonable, you can give more detail if you want to, but you don't have to

Hi thank you...when I say tell the truth, I mean, do I tell LM that I already have another job lined up? Or do I just say I'm having to look at other jobs due to family circumstances? I could fulfill the hours previously to this crisis with DS, but I just can't now due to after school club and also picking up DS slightly early.

I'm worried because I'm still in my probation period, I'm worried because I've been off sick and I feel like I've been deceptive by interviewing during sickness absence.

You may actually have a shorter notice period if you are still in your probationary period, so it could be that you can leave sooner - check your terms and conditions to see what it says.

You have only been in the role for a short time before your absence, are you planning to return on Monday? Will the new role ask your current employer for a reference?

I think it would be best to resign, and let your LM know that you are going to resign (as I said, you may be able to leave sooner than you expect) when you speak to them today.

Hope the new job puts things on a more even keel for you after the summer, OP. It is hard when things are stressful at home.

Will the new position need to take up a reference?

I would probably just explain that changes in your personal life means you cannot commit to the role and you need something more flexible, I don’t think you have to necessarily say you have something lined up. It’s slightly bad form to interview whilst on sick leave but completely understandable IMO

Can you work your notice either current expected or reduced hours ? What was your plans for the summer holidays originally?

You either hand in your notice and work your notice, hand in your notice and stay off sick or ask your current employer to let you off working notice due to your change in circumstances. Actually the fact you already have a job is kind of irrelevant if you are unable to fulfill your hours currently.

Do you have the new job in writing?

I have the new post offer in writing. I need the reference but have told my new employer not to contact current employer until I hand in my notice. New employer know I am currently absent.

I had planned the summer camp my dS always use which is pricey but great, lots of activities and swimming.DS did not want to go this year and created a huge fuss, so they are going to my brothers for a while and then their Dad's.

It doesn't feel like a straightforward resignation because it's shrouded in all this personal stuff which is impacting people at work. I think it will be better for them if I just leave anyway.

I am due to return on Monday. The pay is pretty rubbish so dropping hours will be awful for us. I think what PP said about the new job being irrelevant is quite true, because regardless of the new post, I just can't fulfil my current hours anymore.

I wouldn't mention the other job. Just tell them you can't meet the expectations of the role due to family issues.