discussions on calories when having a meal out

[cantthinkofanothergoodusername]

I've been for a few meals out recently with friends and was quite surprised at the comments about calorie content of meals.
I've got a couple of different groups of mates and one of them constantly discuss calories, whilst the others just pick a meal from the menu and order.
I went out with some other couples last week and was about to order a meal, when the wife pointed out that another dish had fewer calories! I was stunned. I'm not very overweight, probably similar size to her, 14, not that it matters. Even if I was very overweight this would
be quite rude, no?

I don't see a quick comment about calorie content as rude, no

I expect most of the comments you'll get here will be that there's nothing wrong with mentioning calories and that people should do it more often.

This is the place after all where families of 5 live on a roast chicken that's lasted a week and an 'enormous' salad.

Mentioning calories, like discussing diets, is as boring as fuck at table.

It is dull & tedious in the extreme - you need some new friends who have actual conversational skills.

If someone said that out loud I would feel sorry for them because of their disordered thinking around food. I would order want I wanted and not let them affect me.

I think you will get a lot of responses that it's fine (because food shaming is portrayed as a virtue on MN....give it a sec someone will come along to regurgitate the unintelligent diatribe about vanity sizing ....evidencing an astounding lack of intelligence, any minute now).

Ita rude aiming it at your choices. They have every right to comment on their own. "I'll have other dish because its less caloriea" is one thing. I mean its a bit vapid and doesn't consider if there is anyone with am ED at the table but it's not crime of the century. More of a bored eye roll response.

However it is never ok to comment on someone else's food choices unless they are warning that the meal has been poisoned.

Those that define eating certain ways as virtuous forget that they can happily apply the rules to themselves but they are simply not important enough human beings to legitimately comment on someone else's food intake. So yes it's rude to comment on others food choices.

I think you will get a lot of responses that it's fine (because food shaming is portrayed as a virtue on MN....give it a sec someone will come along to regurgitate the unintelligent diatribe about vanity sizing ....evidencing an astounding lack of intelligence, any minute now).

Ita rude aiming it at your choices. They have every right to comment on their own. "I'll have other dish because its less caloriea" is one thing. I mean its a bit vapid and doesn't consider if there is anyone with am ED at the table but it's not crime of the century. More of a bored eye roll response.

However it is never ok to comment on someone else's food choices unless they are warning that the meal has been poisoned.

Those that define eating certain ways as virtuous forget that they can happily apply the rules to themselves but they are simply not important enough human beings to legitimately comment on someone else's food intake. So yes it's rude to comment on others food choices.

I don't think it's rude, I just think it's what she focuses on and thinks about. I have friends like this - they can't not think about calories when ordering food.

Directing the comment at you is not so good.

However since they've been putting the calories on menus I have been quite shocked.

It is a bit tedious - but now most places have had to add calories to their menu it's inevitable.

It's just because restaurants are now required to display the calorie content of each dish on the menus.

This wasn't the case until a couple of months ago. Now you are forced to read the calorie content when deciding what to eat so it will naturally come up in conversation at the time.

I would of pointed out that the salad / soup / whatever has less calories than her dish so why doesn't she have that
Or
Smiled sweetly ( add tinkly laugh if so desired) and ordered onion rings , breadcrumbed garlic mushrooms, a rich sauce and garlic bread

you ordered a full meal?! OP this is MN, where you may eat one massive salad a week.

The friend is either deeply troubled or a tedious bore. It's not ok to comment on someone else's choice like that, surely eating out is a treat and while it's good have the information there you can treat yourself...

Did you change your order? Was it double carbs?

While I'd be interested for myself, there's absolutely no way I would ever say anything about calories to anyone I was with.
But some people can't help it, they see their way of thinking as the only way & because she likes to watch the calories, you must too. Boring but best ignored.

sadly I did change what I'd planned to
order, which was very stupid I know. One of these women is always doing a new diet or other so I think you're right, the poster who said it's her way of taking/being. Diets and calories are at the forefront of her mind. My husband said that too.

talking not taking