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I can’t help anymore and fell bad about it.

5 replies

Solongtoshort · 13/07/2022 11:57

I have become friends with a mum at the school and since Christmas she has asked to borrow money and always given it back, not really in the time frame’s that we agreed but l was never without but it left me really stretched, after the last time l have said no.

Then she started telling me she had no food, so l gave her a bit of what we had in the cupboard and started telling her about the food banks that were available around our area. She rang me yesterday crying and said there was nothing in the cupboards, l was in work so went to the shop and got a tin of beans and bread, l would eat that for my tea and the kids would too. Then last night l checked my freezers and l have given her some things but said that’s it now, she asked if l could take her kids to school which was fine as l was there, but then her older child was crying because he didn’t have a leavers t shirt which are £5 and she didn’t have the money until Friday. I just feel so so So bad but l have come to the point l just can’t help anymore, especially when l don’t see her helping herself.

What makes me feel worse is afterwards l had to do my weekly shop, l feel like a fraud, l could help but then l feel like l would end up supporting her, which then would make impact my kids life/ finance situation.

OP posts:
Georgeskitchen · 13/07/2022 12:00

You have been very kind but it's not your job to support her . There are food banks for those in need so you need to insist that she looks into help for herself. Learn to say no

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 13/07/2022 12:03

It's tough to turn someone away like this but I agree, you've already done more than your bit, especially if she's not helping herself.

greatblueheron · 13/07/2022 12:03

Please tell someone at the school how much she's struggling. They have more access to resources than you will and might be able to offer more assistance.

Solongtoshort · 13/07/2022 12:07

@greatblueheron l hadn’t thought of that, l am going to ring now thank you.

OP posts:
Rainbowshine · 13/07/2022 12:08

You need to signpost her to those that are properly equipped to help her for the longer term. That is helping her. Short term things might prop her up for that day or week, but they are not a solution. So food banks, letting school know, there are some church grants for those in need, CAB or similar for benefits and budgeting/debt help etc.

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