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Feel so alone

6 replies

Honeybadger001 · 12/07/2022 12:26

Been on MN a while now but never posted anything. I'm reaching out to anyone because I honestly feel so alone. I'm a SAHP, husband works a away a fair bit. I have a 3 yr old DS (who is non-verbal autistic) and an 16 month old DD. A couple of months ago I had major abdominal wall repair surgery, which means I'm struggling to lift the kids while I recover. It's a long story, but I have no family at all to help me. My MIL helps sometimes but she lives 2.5 hours away and she's getting on a bit. I have no friends at all. None. I've honestly not made one mum friend since I've had kids. I'm an outgoing person with lots of interests but I've really struggled with isolation since I had kids. I've also moved a couple of times too. I literally have nobody to text (other than hubby or MIL/SIL), nobody to go out on a girls night out with or to talk to. I feel so alone all the time. My kids are also so badly behaved. They don't eat anything I cook, my son spits because he can't communicate properly (he's receiving speech therapy) and they just whine at me, throw tantrums, kick, scream, you name it. I feel like I didn't sign up for this. I wanted to have a family I could share experiences with and to teach my kids life skills and have fun, but instead I just feel completely taken for granted. I really hate my life currently and just want someone to talk to. I want a social life outside of this house.

OP posts:
ZeroFucksGiven20 · 12/07/2022 12:38

Hi @Honeybadger001 You're not on your own as I have no true friends tbh. There's people I speak to but noone to really confide in or have a laugh with. You sound like you have your hands full and must have the patience of a saint. Feel free to PM me at any point. Lifes too short and I'm done being scared to reach out to people so why not. Friendship has to start somewhere I guess x

pogostickplastique · 12/07/2022 12:39

Regionally where are you Op?

Oodlesofdoodlescockapoodles · 12/07/2022 12:58

I was in almost that exact situation.

Are there any cheap/ free play groups near you?

Try mush/peanut apps, like tinder for mum friends. I met a couple via peanut.

You have to go out, try groups, strike up conversation and ask to swap numbers. It is really awkward but after years of horrible loneliness I finally did that and it's the best thing I have ever done, my life has transformed.

Does your older one go to preschool? And school is on the horizon.

Keep putting yourself out there, I know it's hard and awkward and there are a lot of times it feels rubbish but eventually it pays off. I've only just made some friends and my eldest is 6.

Trust me, just because it's tough now doesn't mean this is how it's going to stay. It will get better.

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Honeybadger001 · 12/07/2022 13:09

ZeroFucksGiven20 thank you for reaching out I will PM you.

pogostickplastique thank you for replying, I live in East Yorkshire. Where are you based?

Oodlesofdoodlescockapoodles thanks for the suggestions, I will try some groups etc. My eldest does go to pre school but it's really hard striking up conversations with other mums as they area all usually really busy. I don't know what's wrong with me!? I love chatting to people and doing fun activities, I just seem to have lost myself after having kids.

OP posts:
pogostickplastique · 12/07/2022 13:19

@Honeybadger001 I'm in the south midlands unfortunately - hopefully though between us all we can find you some more geographically reasonable mates x

Oodlesofdoodlescockapoodles · 12/07/2022 16:11

@Honeybadger001 that is exactly what I was like. Loads of friends at school and uni that drifted and not a single mum friend 😢 I was soo lonely. Don't think I ever even had someone to meet at the park or anything.

I haven't made friends with preschool parents either but at school when they start having parties it can be a good chance to chat to the other mums, or if there's a school WhatsApp post saying does anyone want to meet St the park etc. It will get better but I totally, totally understand how you feel.

There is NOTHING wrong with you, there are lots of us out there just like you.

I started a local fb page for mums, you could try that? Just call it, for example "Bridlington mum meet ups" post in a local group and I bet loads would join. Good luck xx

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