This is absolutely my problem and something I am v ashamed of but I honestly don’t know how to deal with it. I have three absolutely wonderful sons but I struggle a bit with their behaviour at times and my expectations which may be unrealistic.
They have always been extremely high energy , on the move young and very , very physically active. Two of them were terrible sleepers so I thought that keeping them active would help maybe , anyway there was no choice , if I tried to have a chilled day they would climb the walls by 10am. They are good at sports which is great and I’m very proud and if they are happy doing this that’s more important. The problem I have is I’ve always been a book worm , very into art and crafts and quite different activities. My older kids are 10 and 7 and have absolutely zero interest in reading and literally have never picked up a book in their lives on their own accord, I’ve taken them to libraries since they were babies, their rooms are filled with books, they both were behind reading wise in school, they both have tests for dyslexia and don’t have it. I’ve taken the teachers advice and I don’t put loads of pressure on them , they said to make it positive and read to them , get them to pick books they like. I’ve done this and they love being read to, when I try to get them to read a page my 10 year old will , a bit but 7 year old absolutely refuses to.
They never pick up books at home ever , they have limited screen time and that’s just tv not computer games as they don’t play them. I was just reminded recently as their principal gave a big talk for new children next year of how houses where parents read and expose their kids to reading produce kids much more into books and who do better in school vs houses that don’t …. I’m a teacher myself but found this hard to hear….
It’s not just that , I feel my dh and I are really consistent, careful with diet , screen time etc but they all seem to have short concentration spans , v little interest in activities like drawing , reading etc. This is compounded at the moment by being in another country and it’s the native language of my dh , they refuse to even try and speak a word even though we have gently helped and encouraged and tried lots at home. We get constant comments from family and friends on how active they are , why don’t they try and speak , what books do they read. It makes us feel like shit and I end up comparing which I hate in myself. It like things come easier to others with their kids, even when I take a totally hands off, relaxed approach they still don’t read etc etc.
I hate the way I constantly compare internally and it takes the joy out of things. I’m ashamed and low about it but feel society around us judges us.