Agreeing XBOX time limits over the summer holidays

[EmmajR86]

DS shortly to receive his first ever gaming device aged 12. Previously disinterested as only interested in playing sport (goes to very sporty prep school)

but the tables have turned as went to some friend’s houses and I loved playing. T

So this is his 12th birthday present. We have agreed that there will be daily limits.
how does this sound (THIS IS DURINg THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS ONLY!)

1 completely gaming free day.
2.5 hours per day during the week, and a maximum of 1 hour play at a time.
2 hours per day at weekends

and no limit when friends are over (very rarely - scheduled in 3 over the summer holidays)

Thoughts?

He is an easy going chap, will basically accept whatever I say (within reason) without complaint

many thanks

I think your DS sounds sensible enough to regulate his own time. Mine always has. If you do want to set limits I think yours sound reasonable expect for the 1 hour at a time. If he's playing remotely with friends then it can take a couple of hours to complete a mission/task/whatever they're up to. Again, give him flexibility to finish whatever section of a game he's on. That's the only time we've had arguments. If they've been working on something for an hour and then you ask them to come off before they've finished. Always give them a bit of flexibility if you can.

Oh he’s an easy going boy

but not much self regulation!

definitely need parameters

Really good advice about finishing section of game

but couldn’t that go on for ages? Ie
he comes to end of hour and says he needs to finish section. I say yes but that then takes an hour?

I’d be tempted to not put any rules in place for the first week (apart from at bedtime) and see if he does self regulate.

Would you let him watch a movie all the way through in one sitting? Why is a game restricted to an hour? That seems unnecessary. Just give him a daily limit and let him play as he chooses within that.

To be honest though at 12 you could be helping him learn to self regulate and encourage him to set his own limits, he sounds sensible enough.

I think it sounds perfect to be honest. Our are younger and don't game yet but i think you and your son sound awesome and I will (try to!) remember this for a guide 😊

You could tell him you are doing this and it’s up to him to show you he play responsibly.

Sounds too strict to me, sorry. Definitely agree that a single hour at a time will be really restricting when playing with friends and he'll risk letting his team down. It's so different to the non-online computer games of my youth!

Also 2.5 hours with a maximum of an hour at a time is messy.

If he does 2 x 1 hours then he's left with half an hour which is a bit pointless.

I think limitless when friends are around is really silly. It gives the impression everyone else games all the time. It also means friends coming round just always turns into gaming.
I’d set times when gaming is allowed eg 6 till 7 if chores/homework are done. I’d allow negotiation to move that time if something is happening then and banking of hours to use with friends. Eg can I use tonight’s hour tomorrow when X is over to play.
I would imagine an hour a day was more than enough.

We actually have minimal restrictions on our, just a few set core rules.

1. Come off when we ask (we will always give a warning). We only ask them to stop if there's something we want or need them to do.

1. No devices before breakfast or after bedtime (they can read in bed with no time cap)

1. No devices at the table (ours are hand helds so less of an issue with an xbox)

We provide plenty of alternatives, lots and lots of outdoor time, trips, board games, crafts, help with cooking, chores etc.

Thankfully ours seem quite content with the loose structure. They can happily not go on the device for days at a time, but equally if we then have an indoor day (due to weather etc) then I really couldn't give a hoot if they spend most of thay day gaming.

No, with DS if he knows he's got say 2 hours he won't start something that will take longer but he'll often need an extra 10/15 mins. Just be clear if he has to come off at a set time or you've got a bit of flex with the finish time.

God that's complicated! An hour a day really isn't enough and you can't tell a 12 year old who's got his mates over that his time limits up! Poor lad!

When DS has his friends over they game on and off, mess about on their phones, go outside for a kick about, do a bit more gaming, play hide ans seek (yep still going strong at 13!). I'd never dream of telling them how much time they can spend on a certain activity. Gaming isn't the devil.

This. Perfect.