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Original poster

Moral dilemma

52 replies

titchy · 11/07/2022 11:02

A moral dilemma for the MN hive mind whilst I wait for a delayed return flight....

Paid for adult dcs to holiday with us (students, early 20s if relevant). If we get compensation for delayed flight (poss £220 each) do we a) keep as we paid for the holiday, b) give all to dcs on the basis that they too had to hang around the departure lounge, or c) split between us and them?

What sayeth MN?

OP posts:
latetothefisting · 11/07/2022 12:02

I'd keep it. If the kids were much younger- say under 10 - you wouldn't give them 220 quid each or whatever the amount ends up being and they too would have have to suffer the same inconvenience as the adults which is the only reason you're thinking of giving it to your older kids. In that case you'd keep all the money on the assumptionn it would just go back into general family funds and get spend on them one way or another anyway-and the same applies here as the funds have already been spent on a free holiday for them -plus I imagine you probably pay for them in lots of other ways too!

The only way I might give them something would be if they were additionally inconvenienced more than the rest of you - e.g missed their shift at work so didn't get paid or had to pay for a taxi back to their home (if they don't live with you) rather than getting the bus because flight got in so late.

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 11/07/2022 12:12

Compensation for delayed flight says it all. It's nothing to do with who paid for the flight. So I would give it to them.

BendingSpoons · 11/07/2022 12:13

I'd keep it and I'd expect my parents to keep it if they paid for our holiday. The exception would be if actual costs were incurred e.g. the DC bought extra food due to the delay, rather than the parents buying it.

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Ethics & human rights
grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 11/07/2022 12:13

Obviously it's a different story if they were kids. But since they are adults.

mistermagpie · 11/07/2022 12:13

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 11/07/2022 11:07

im such a bitch- it wouldn't even enter my head to share it if I'd paid for the holiday, flights and the food etc

I'm a bitch too because my immediate thought was hell no! They are getting a free holiday, hanging around a bit in their airport is a small price to pay.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 11/07/2022 12:31

If you want them to benefit from the money as well why not put it in a pot towards another holiday next year?

I have always given to my adult DC - even now if they are in the supermarket with me I pay for their shopping - but I wouldn't think to give them that money just as I would not expect to be given it if they had paid for me.

MissBPotter · 11/07/2022 12:43

Why do you need compensation if you paid nothing?! I would keep it. You’ll probably be paying for snacks and stuff while you’re all waiting after all. I would be super shocked if I got compensated for something I didn’t pay for in the first place.

BoJoGoGo · 11/07/2022 12:48

Would you give to 18, 17, 16, 15,14,13 year olds?

WinterMusings · 11/07/2022 12:54

If they were out of pocket then definitely, but other than that I'd just see it as being a bit of a discount off the cost of the holiday.

same if someone else had paid for my holiday, I'd see it as a bit of the expense back.

TiredYorkshireMam · 11/07/2022 12:56

As you paid for holiday, I'd keep it.

I'd possibly put the whole lot towards another holiday for everyone though.

RedHelenB · 11/07/2022 12:59

titchy · 11/07/2022 11:02

A moral dilemma for the MN hive mind whilst I wait for a delayed return flight....

Paid for adult dcs to holiday with us (students, early 20s if relevant). If we get compensation for delayed flight (poss £220 each) do we a) keep as we paid for the holiday, b) give all to dcs on the basis that they too had to hang around the departure lounge, or c) split between us and them?

What sayeth MN?

You get it oer adult passenger. I took expenses off than divided the rest between them, so they gained about 150 each.

RedHelenB · 11/07/2022 13:00

RedHelenB · 11/07/2022 12:59

You get it oer adult passenger. I took expenses off than divided the rest between them, so they gained about 150 each.

Show quote history

Per adult passenger I mean.
I'd paid everything for the trip too.

newbiename · 11/07/2022 13:05

If I'd paid for the whole thing I'd be keeping the compensation

mm40 · 11/07/2022 13:10

I must be horrible as well. I wouldn’t have considered sharing it if I’d paid for all of the tickets.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 11/07/2022 13:11

Agree with MissBPotter. I expect you're paying for all snacks, drinks and anything else needed?

Your adult children have received a free holiday, they should be delighted with that. Waiting around is par for the course at the moment. I would be really disappointed if - in your circumstances - your children would expect to be compensated and I wouldn't give it to them.

I might though arrange for a takeway for when we got back or a meal out as a family.

ludocris · 11/07/2022 13:13

Keep it! Good grief!

DumDeeDoh · 11/07/2022 13:15

Why would you give them anything? They didnt pay for the holiday, therefore they dont get the compensation. (Parent of 2 young adults). No moral dilemma at all 🤣

Iloveacurry · 11/07/2022 13:19

You paid for the holiday, so keep it yourself. Others are right, you wouldn’t give the money to a child if they were younger.

MargotChateau · 11/07/2022 13:23

I’d give it to the DC, you are getting a refund and this extra money is for the individuals time being inconvenienced. Also students ALWAYS need money. But I’m from a family where sharing was encouraged.

Original poster
titchy · 11/07/2022 13:42

I'm liking most of the responses Grin

OP posts:
2bazookas · 11/07/2022 13:42

The person who paid for the holiday AND the travel insurance premium receives the claim payout.

Blowthemandown · 11/07/2022 13:54

I gave ’their’ share to DP’s kids whose flight back to a different airport was delayed. I felt DP was entitled on one level as he paid and I’d done all the legwork to get it the compensation but then felt it was they who got delayed. Grates a little but still think I did the right thing.

Stompythedinosaur · 11/07/2022 14:12

I think the compensation goes to the person who paid.

MissyCooperismyShero · 11/07/2022 14:22

I'd be thrilled to be able to give the DC money at no cost to myself!

woolwinder · 11/07/2022 14:23

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 11/07/2022 11:07

im such a bitch- it wouldn't even enter my head to share it if I'd paid for the holiday, flights and the food etc

I'm a bitch, too, in that case. They were on a free jolly. Why should they get anything? If you get any compo, and they hear about it (why should they?), and ask for some, tell them to pull their heads in.