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Original poster

4yo with very indistinct speech - say something?

14 replies

Newname1007 · 10/07/2022 20:43

A dc in my extended family has been slow to learn to talk and now at 4.5 I would say is only about max 50% intelligible to non-close family, if you concentrate. All his speech is still very indistinct. I have children of a similar age so am used to tuning in to small dc.

Apparently their nursery say he's fine...but he doesn't seem fine to me. His parents talk/read to him all the time but they don't seem to have sought specialised advice. Worth saying something?

OP posts:
BigYellowElephant · 10/07/2022 20:44

Say what?

Original poster
Newname1007 · 10/07/2022 20:46

Say: "Have you considered getting him checked out?" ...

OP posts:
Bloodybridget · 10/07/2022 20:48

A child in my family has the same issue. Child is now 6 and still mostly unintelligible to anyone outside immediate family. I think the sooner there's specialist help, the better.

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Madeintowerhamlets · 10/07/2022 20:50

I think it’s hard as you are bound to make them feel defensive. It’s up to them to seek help or for their childcare provider to notice. I wouldn’t say anything personally.

CountessOfSponheim · 10/07/2022 20:52

Will child be starting school in September? If so I'd assume school will bring it up.

Original poster
Newname1007 · 10/07/2022 20:57

Bloodybridget · 10/07/2022 20:48

A child in my family has the same issue. Child is now 6 and still mostly unintelligible to anyone outside immediate family. I think the sooner there's specialist help, the better.

@Bloodybridget do you know if they sought specialist advice eventually/if the school brought it up?

OP posts:
Original poster
Newname1007 · 10/07/2022 20:58

CountessOfSponheim · 10/07/2022 20:52

Will child be starting school in September? If so I'd assume school will bring it up.

You'd hope so - I suppose we're pretty close now anyway

OP posts:
Nandocushion · 10/07/2022 21:16

Could you say something sort of general, like after speaking with him: "Gosh, I'm having a hard time understanding X (and, if possible, find someone else who feels the same, maybe another relative). Do other people notice this too? I wonder why that is" and sort of leave it open ended like that. I think you'll see from their response whether it's something they've considered, whether they're too defensive about it or whatever and you can go from there. And if you have to drop it, you've at least planted the seed in their minds, so when school mentions it, they'll have heard it before.

FWIW a school mum friend of mine was annoyed one day because the school had told her that her DD had a speech difficulty and she should look into speech therapy for it (the DD was 8) and she didn't think it was necessary. I hadn't really spoken to her DD, but did shortly after and the speech impediment/difficulty was incredibly obvious - but my friend had got so used to it that their family didn't even notice it.

SafeHeaven · 10/07/2022 21:21

My son has a speech disorder and a stammer.

I have no problem with anyone mentioning it to me but I wouldn’t mention it to someone about their child though, people can be really put out if someone notices their child has a difficulty.

Findmebythesea · 10/07/2022 21:54

I would definitely mention it. So many parents think school is a big safety net and will sort it all out when children start - sadly that is not the case. There are huge waiting lists and NHS speech therapists can only give a terms (sometimes just half a term) worth of sessions. This in my experience, is a face to face meeting every 3 weeks and the teaching assistant is left to do 5 min interventions whenever they can. My point is that it would be hugely beneficial for the child if the parents started the ball rolling now. A hearing test is usually the first port of call, maybe you could suggest that. Far easier said than done I know!

Bloodybridget · 12/07/2022 07:32

@Newname1007 as far as I recall, parents brought it up with nursery and child did get some speech therapy but not until age of 4, maybe? Might have been useful earlier, and it's all been very piecemeal and frankly inadequate. I think if child is willing to do lots of practice at home that must make a difference, our kid wouldn't (has other issues). Absolutely agree with what @Findmebythesea said above re getting onto it ASAP and probably needing to pay if affordable. But of course it is tricky if parents don't seem aware - could it be they are, but are just not talking about it to you?

Ravenclawdropout · 12/07/2022 08:07

Due to the lockdowns a higher % of children are having speech delays and difficulties. Perhaps you could frame it in that way so the parents might be less defensive?
www.bbc.com/news/education-56889035

Original poster
Newname1007 · 12/07/2022 09:39

He was slow to get started with speaking in sentences, so I think they are looking at his progress, which has been great to see, but maybe they don't see that he still has some catching up to do. They are quite open about stuff like that so I don't think he's been seen by a professional and it's not been mentioned.

OP posts:
CharlotteOH · 12/07/2022 09:49

DD was like that. I thought it was because of teeth changes / that it would sort itself out. It didn’t. Wish I’d sought professional help earlier.

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