If you waited till you were 'thin enough' to date

[SavingsThreads]

Did it work out like you expected?

I'd love to go out and date and have sex and just spend a few years having fun, but im really overweight so it doesn't seem possible.

It's not a confidence thing - im ok with how I look - but I know the dating scene just isn't fat friendly. Especially online, which is my best option as everyone around me is taken!

Has anyone else been through this and did it work out as you expected?

I did. And dated a morbidly obese man! He cheated with his ex and, five years later, I put the five stone I lost back on and have more interest from men than ever before!

I think the secret is to be happy in your skin and be confident. I am losing the weight again (2st so far) but it certainly doesn't affect dating.

Being overweight never stopped me having more or less as much sex as I wanted. Though, tbh, I had more luck meeting people through hobby groups (martial arts, reenactment, board games groups) than online dating. Perhaps life is easier if you are into geeky stuff?

I wish that were true for me! I'd love to be having sex and just enjoying myself but I online dating is soul destroying if you're not an easy 10.

I’m not in this situation as I’ve been in a relationship for many many years but I honestly don’t think most men (over the age of about 25) are dissuaded from dating someone because of their weight. I genuinely mean that. I know a lot of men, from burly solid builders to muscle gym bods and lots in-between and many of them have parents who aren’t ‘thin’.

It's self esteem you need, OP, not a diet.

I'm overweight and attract attention on nights out and could have sex if I wanted to. My sister is bigger than me and has two hook up buddies she met on Tinder.

Sorry, I can’t edit but that was supposed to say partners not parents 🫣😂

I am a size 16. Never had an issue.

Agree with the above.

Kara Loewentheil is great on these kind of thoughts, her podcast and material "Unfcuk your brain" is very thought provoking and helped me a lot.

So I've put on 3 stone since covid.., I swear I've never had so much make attention when I go out!! I used to get a fair bit when I was lovely and slim but I'm
Shocked at the attention I get heavier!!

Be confident and get out and date! Have sex! Enjoy yourself!

Honestly I have plenty of confidence! My boobs and legs are cracking and I'm always known as the funny/friendly/charismatic one.

But I go on sites and get nothing. Never been asked out in real life. No single friends to go to bars with.

I've a great job, I'm 30, child free, in London. I feel like I'm invisible!

I never got far with old and certainly never got asked out in bars. Everything, from casual hook ups to long term relationships was via groups who got a chance to know me first. Is there any way you can increase the number of things you do that involves meeting with the same group every week? Martial arts groups are great - more men than women, people get a chance to know you, and you are breaking down barriers when you train because you have to touch each other.