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Original poster

payments to friend for fuel to go to hospital etc

78 replies

Ladylinnet · 10/07/2022 10:56

Does anyone have someone drive them to hospital appointments etc & you then pay toward the fuel they use? Just wondering as I have a friend who takes me & my child & I give her £20.00 but she expects this each time. My little one needs numerous hospital visits during week. Is this reasonable? If I were to pay 50p per mile it would work out £10.00 each journey.

OP posts:
TheSoundOfLunch · 10/07/2022 11:00

What is reasonable is when you and she agree a payment that you are both happy with.

There is more to car costs than petrol, perhaps check out a mileage rate that is generally accepted.

But if that’s too expensive for you then it won’t work. And equally, if it isn’t enough for her, it won’t work.

It must be very difficult for you and it sounds like a big ask of her. Is there anyone else who
can help you?

Cameronnorrieisabitofalright · 10/07/2022 11:00

Wow what a grabby friend op.

saraclara · 10/07/2022 11:02

Does she have to pay for parking? Our hospital car park is hideously expensive. And does she wait for you and then bring you home again?

coffeecupsandfairylights · 10/07/2022 11:03

It's not just fuel costs though, it's also her time and the wear and tear on her car.

It would be nice if she did it at "cost" but maybe she can't afford to give away several hours of her time for free?

Gizlotsmum · 10/07/2022 11:04

What would alternative ways of getting there cost? If it’s too much to pay her then consider buses/ taxis or accept that is what she wants paying, does she wait for you? I assume she rearranges her day around giving you these lifts?

Yarnasaurus · 10/07/2022 11:04

Numerous appointments every week must be taking up quite a lot of her time, so it is quite a big ask of her and different to a one off or occasional favour.

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 10/07/2022 11:05

It's not just for petrol though. It's her time and inconvenience too, especially it's not a one off.
If you don't think it's reasonable, maybe use a taxi etc?

Loveisnotloving · 10/07/2022 11:06

So she takes time out of her day to drive you to the hospital, find parking, sit and wait on you to be seen and bring you home?

Bargain for €20!

DysmalRadius · 10/07/2022 11:06

It sounds like it could be taking out a large chunk of her day, so perhaps she thinks that £20 to cover fuel, parking and a few hours of her time is reasonable. How much would a taxi cost?

FairyBatman · 10/07/2022 11:06

50p a mile is generous and more than mot companies pay. I would explain to her that you can’t afford the £20 but based on 50p a mile you can pay £10 if you are happy it’s that.

Personally though I think she’s taking the piss and I’d try and find someone else.

BloodAndFire · 10/07/2022 11:07

Get there another way then. Why do you think she owes you her time?

saraclara · 10/07/2022 11:07

See if there's a Good Neighbours scheme in your area. Ours does a lot of lifts to hospital appointments. Yes, you'll still pay petrol costs, but it takes the personal element out of it on both sides.

AlisonDonut · 10/07/2022 11:08

FairyBatman · 10/07/2022 11:06

50p a mile is generous and more than mot companies pay. I would explain to her that you can’t afford the £20 but based on 50p a mile you can pay £10 if you are happy it’s that.

Personally though I think she’s taking the piss and I’d try and find someone else.

Companies also pay staff for the hours worked so add on NMW for the time spent and she's got a bargain.

Threetulips · 10/07/2022 11:08

Does she wait for you? Or go there and back and there and back to bring you home?

coffeecupsandfairylights · 10/07/2022 11:10

FairyBatman · 10/07/2022 11:06

50p a mile is generous and more than mot companies pay. I would explain to her that you can’t afford the £20 but based on 50p a mile you can pay £10 if you are happy it’s that.

Personally though I think she’s taking the piss and I’d try and find someone else.

Companies would also pay at least minimum wage per hour, plus a whole host of other benefits 🤷🏻‍♀️

11Hawkins · 10/07/2022 11:10

How many miles is it to the hospital? To be fair if it could cost them £20 there and back each time with the cost of petrol being so high at the moment.

femfemlicious · 10/07/2022 11:10

How much does a taxi cost?. If less i would pay it and be grateful. If not take a taxi.

LittleSockOfHorrors · 10/07/2022 11:11

Cameronnorrieisabitofalright · 10/07/2022 11:00

Wow what a grabby friend op.

How is it grabby'? The OP doesn't have to get driven there and back several times a week by the friend. She could make other arrangements.

The friend might not charge people for one off lifts but several times a week is quite a commitment.

Offering one pound is an outrage. Get your own car and drive yourself there fir a pound.

MichelleScarn · 10/07/2022 11:12

Get a taxi then? Unless she is demanding she takes you I really don't understand!

Xoxoxoxoxoxox · 10/07/2022 11:13

A lot depends on whether she’s waiting around for an hour.
That’s quite a big ask several times a week.

Motnight · 10/07/2022 11:15

How much would a taxi there and back cost, Op?

xyzandabc · 10/07/2022 11:15

How much would a taxi cost ?

So it's 10 miles each way, maybe 40 minutes driving in total plus however long your appointment takes, plus parking which can be expensive at a hospital, if you can find a space at all. Several times a week.

It's probably quite a reasonable rate for the convenience for you. It's almost certainly an inconvenience for your friend.

If a taxi or bus/train would be cheaper, maybe do that and only ask your friend when the timings are going to be inconvenient for a bus or taxi not available.

LadyWithLapdog · 10/07/2022 11:19

Make other arrangements if you feel resentful. Does your child get DLA (or whatever its equivalent is now) to help towards this?

seemsikeaniceday · 10/07/2022 11:37

Have you tried to see if your local authority, Age Concern, WRVS etc. has a community transport scheme? These are volunteer organisations who regularly take people to and from hospital, they can be invaluable for people who have to go regularly and don’t drive. They may charge petrol but wouldn’t be £20 a trip.

TenoringBehind · 10/07/2022 11:48

Would be interesting to know how much a taxi would charge for the same journey, and how much time each journey takes.

if she charges you less than the taxi then it’s a very good deal for you, and above and beyond for her as a friend when you take into account wear and tear on the car and her time. If she charges more than the taxi then take a taxi!

in my experience, a lot of people who receive lifts prefer to pay for them (and more than a nominal amount) rather than feel beholden to the lift giver.

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