Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

DD DofE in this heat - won't use handheld fan...

97 replies

OneDayInYourLife · 09/07/2022 05:44

Hi! 15 YO DD doing her D of E this weekend which is a huge worry with the heatwave, she is very pale and won't cope well with the heat.

Obvs trying to equip her with what she needs to be comfortable. I have bought her a hand held fan and she refuses to take it 'because everyone will want to use it'.

I understand what she's saying, she's 15 and peer pressure is more important than her own wellbeing and health, but how can I make her understand sometimes she needs to do what's right for her?

She says that if she has one, someone from her group will ask to use it, so then she won't have one. If she says no they can't use it, she'll come across as an asshole and they'll be stroppy and make the whole thing miserable (they will).

How can I help my DD with this?

OP posts:
Goldfishjones · 09/07/2022 08:38

She'll be fine. She can fan herself with a piece of cardboard then bin it when she doesn't want to carry it anymore. Or a folded map.

PurpleDaisies · 09/07/2022 08:38

I would never walk with a fan, no matter how hot. The most important things are to cover up, drink loads and take suncream.

Jaffapaffa · 09/07/2022 08:39

I'll be out with silver DofE groups this weekend/start of next week.
The current plan is to get up as early as possible, so that the bulk of the walking is done before the real heat of the day sets in.
This is what we usually do - groups seem quite happy to set off just after 5am.

And we have a LOT more water points added.

Bumpsadaisie · 09/07/2022 08:43

Hmm.

With kindness I think in your concern and anxiety for her you are fretting too much.

Sun cream and hat is fine.

If something terrible happens and she collapses in the heat they have phones and emergency procedures which will be followed.

We get loads of D of E kids up our lane at this time of year and the idea of them all being equipped with little handheld fans is ... well, hilarious.

Drop the idea of the fan and let her get on with it. She'll live!

Bumpsadaisie · 09/07/2022 08:44

OneDayInYourLife · 09/07/2022 05:44

Hi! 15 YO DD doing her D of E this weekend which is a huge worry with the heatwave, she is very pale and won't cope well with the heat.

Obvs trying to equip her with what she needs to be comfortable. I have bought her a hand held fan and she refuses to take it 'because everyone will want to use it'.

I understand what she's saying, she's 15 and peer pressure is more important than her own wellbeing and health, but how can I make her understand sometimes she needs to do what's right for her?

She says that if she has one, someone from her group will ask to use it, so then she won't have one. If she says no they can't use it, she'll come across as an asshole and they'll be stroppy and make the whole thing miserable (they will).

How can I help my DD with this?

Ps one of the things is that she might NOT be totally comfortable. And you can't equip her against that.

The growth comes from knowing that one can manage not being totally comfortable all the time.

Adversity · 09/07/2022 08:45

The best thing when walking in hot weather is to have plenty of water to drink obviously but to also spray it in your face with a small misting bottle or dab on pulse points. Also freeze one bottle of water so that it’s still cold hours later. I have hiked in Spain and America. The only time I have ill due to heat was when I drank margaritas and not enough water in Florida and was that entirely my own fault.

OhRiRi · 09/07/2022 08:46

People are suggesting gels - if she's not used these already in training then now is not the time to start experimenting, not everyone can tolerate them/all brands and can cause... gastric distress...

Instead, some electrolyte tablets (something like SIS are easily obtainable from outdoor shops and larger supermarkets) to pop in her water wouldn't be a bad idea.

onlywhenidream · 09/07/2022 08:49

Dunk your hat in every stream you pass

Get up early before the heat ... hum...15.... well you can advise

TonTonMacoute · 09/07/2022 08:50

They are expensive but the best sun hat for walking is a Tilley. They keep the sun off but don’t make your head hot.

Get her one if you can stretch to it.If she is outdoorsy she will get lots of wear out of it.

Beamur · 09/07/2022 08:55

jgw1 · 09/07/2022 08:24

Whatever the weather is the one thing that makes the biggest difference on DofE is the weight of the rucksack, and how well it is packed.

This is the best advice.
Tell her to be utterly ruthless with packing. No fripperies. The weight of the pack makes so much difference.
Take enough water. Wear long lightweight clothing. Sunscreen. Take breaks in the shade.
Glorious weekend for it with lovely long light evenings. Hope she has a great time.

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/07/2022 08:58

this is all a bit precious

it’s the uk, not the Sahara

there is no where in the uk that will get that ok

she will be fine

jgw1 · 09/07/2022 08:59

Goldbar · 09/07/2022 08:32

Yes, in most UK weather conditions, leaving them to get on with it would probably be fine. But (depending on where you are in the country, I guess), during the current heatwave, heatstroke, heat exhaustion and dehydration during prolonged physical activity are serious risks and could lead to hospitalisation or worse unless they act sensibly and take precautions (which you would not necessarily expect from 15 year olds). So it's not surprising that the OP is concerned.

Show quote history

If a 15 year old is not capable of taking suitable precautions then they should not be doing DofE.

I have plenty of experience of supervising groups in this country and overseas in far hotter weather than this, sometimes doing more strenous activity than DofE. In almost all cases I would let them get on and make their own decisions, but there is a skill to talking to them and steering them to make those decisions, whilst letting them still make them. A fan will make so little difference to how they feel, except for being extra weight.

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/07/2022 08:59

onlywhenidream · 09/07/2022 08:49

Dunk your hat in every stream you pass

Get up early before the heat ... hum...15.... well you can advise

@onlywhenidream

dunk your hat in your every stream? And then what - put it back on your head?! You’d look a right state doing that!

jgw1 · 09/07/2022 08:59

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/07/2022 08:58

this is all a bit precious

it’s the uk, not the Sahara

there is no where in the uk that will get that ok

she will be fine

Yes, even in the Sahara I have let 15 year olds make their own decisions about what they do when each day. Trust is a wonderful thing.

Unescorted · 09/07/2022 09:02

[https://www.metoffice.gov.uk/weather/specialist-forecasts/mountain Mountain Forecasts from Met office]

It is only going to be 18C in the valley where I am & cooler at 300 and 600m. I am currently wearing a jumper as there is a breeze.

If I was going out walking /camping today / tonight I would take a fleece, merino baselayer, full waterproof (if I have to wait for mountain rescue they keep the heat in well & are light weight), 2 hats (beanine and one with a brim), plenty of water/ water filter, a spare shirt (wicking not cotton & it can double as a "Cooling Cloth" / "spritzing spray"), suntan cream (50+), zinc cream total block.

If it is hot keeping weight down is even more important when walking over hills.

Unescorted · 09/07/2022 09:03

Mountain Forecasts from Met office

sorry a working link.

Unescorted · 09/07/2022 09:05

You’d look a right state doing that

None of the DoE kids look anything but after the first couple of miles.

onlywhenidream · 09/07/2022 09:06

I don't give a toss for how other people think I look - it is lovely cooling , and probably better than looking hot and bothered !

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 09/07/2022 09:13

Long walking trousers (not shorts). They weight almost nothing but will protect her from ticks, brambles and sunburn. Long-sleeved walking tops for the same reason. Hat with a big brim all the way round (not a cap as the back of her neck will burn). Sunscreen. Hydration bladder.

All that will give her the best possible protection from the heat and from sunburn. The main thing is to stay really hydrated - I have had girls not drink on expedition during the day before because they didn’t want to pee behind a bush, which is obviously the worst possible decision they could make.

AlwaysLatte · 09/07/2022 09:42

Presumably she's left already so not much point in further suggestions. Hope she has a great time, and manages to stay cool.

averythinline · 09/07/2022 09:48

If shes pale i would stick to trousers as lwss chance of burning and long sleeves.... decathlon/regatta do lightweight 'walking trousers' much and long sleeve tops with mesh panels...most important things suncream/water/hat.....dc used a flannel soaked in water round neck in lieu of cool cloth but they look good..

Minimise what she's taking ....is the best tiing....after 1st time ds came back with most clothes unworn! Packed mych less nrxt time

BocolateChiscuits · 09/07/2022 09:58

Your DD sounds quite sensible. You sound a bit overbearing (but lovely). Step away, and let her get on with it 💐

MrsOwainGlyndŵr · 09/07/2022 10:07

The whole point of DofE is to learn a bit of self sufficiency, yet you are being a mother hen.

Leave it to the expedition organiser to advise the kids, and leave it to DD to learn from the experience.

She may get a tick, she may get hot and sweaty, even a bit burnt, and she'll be knackered. But nothing will happen to her that the organisers haven't seen before and can't deal with.

Stand back and allow her to learn.

Notagardener · 09/07/2022 12:14

"Let them learn themselves ". Sure, and bear the consequences of getting sunburned....increasing the changes of skin cancer.
I have 2 DC who did gold and 1 silver. I wouldn't care if they had a fan or not (1 apparently brought a book to read). But I was very insisted on anti sunburn measurements.

HaveringWavering · 09/07/2022 12:20

Fans eat up batteries like crazy anyway. She’d need loads of spares and that’s too much weight. She sounds like a sensible girl OP. Just leave her to it.