Ultra processed food and teenagers

[lurchermummy]

I have a 17-year-old DD who has a terrible diet, I feel really bad as if I've let her down as a parent. I really worry that when she leaves home she will just live on rubbish and that it will affect her health in the long-term. I don't want to be a nag as this only seems to have the opposite effect.

I really like healthy food and the majority of our meals are home cooked- my diet isn't always perfect and I do eat some crap but I overall prefer and enjoy to eat well as does DH.

She's always been a fussy eater, even as a toddler she was very tiny. I remember my dad been quite worried about her and saying that I needed to take her to the doctor, However my doctor friend said that as long as she was growing and healthy not to worry.

A few years ago she went through a phase of having extreme anxiety and was verging on having an eating disorder. As result I have been very much of the view that whatever she eats is better than not eating, and so we have ended up in a situation where she eats a lot of processed food such as instant noodles, Pringles etc.

She does eat the home-cooked meals I make such as chicken curry or spaghetti Bolognese, but she won't eat vegetables. She hates potatoes have any form, won't eat sweet potatoes, won't eat anything like brown bread, will not eat any form of legume or bean, never eats any kind of whole grain, doesn't like eggs. Sometimes she will eat a raw carrot, and she does eat a fair amount of fruit.

She has actually raised the possibility with us that she is on the autistic spectrum, and that this is why she likes to eat very plain and very repetitive food. For example she likes pasta but only cooked in certain ways.

Her diet is very low in fibre, high in salt and because of the noodles et cetera that she likes to eat I'm sure she takes in a lot of additives.

I know that just sharing information about the downsides of ultra processed foods will have no effect and if anything will make her all the more determined to eat it.

Yes I have tried to involve her in cooking, which works up to a point although she still refuses vegetables of any shape or form.

I have also tried simply not buying these foods, but then she complains there's nothing in the house for her to eat, and when she comes in from work hungry I think it's important that she has something.

How do other people tackle healthy eating with their teenagers?

Any tips for encouraging teenagers on the spectrum to eat a more healthy diet?

Its not comfortable but it seems almost a rite of passage/ phase that teenagers eat crap.
I try to take the view that so long as they know what healthy food is and how to prepare it, they'll come out of it eventually so I mostly turn a blind eye.

Being on the spectrum may complicate things due to the simpler diet but so long as she eats home cooked too, try not to fret especially with the history of disordered eating.

I'm the same as an adult and I'm autistic with adhd. I take a multi vitamin each day. It's around textures of foods and what suits me at the specific time I want to eat. I'm actually in pretty good nick for my age and my bloods recently came back as all good.

Stay relaxed about food and meals. Avoid ‘food’ becoming a fight, battle, struggle.

Keep providing the fruit n veg that she does like - that’s better than no nutrition from this good group.

Gently offer her different things…’do you want a bite of this pepper?’…’do you want a taste of this dish that I’ve made’? AND whatever her response - stay calm, don’t judge, remain positive towards her.
I’ve done this with my niece over the past few years on repeat. She has learnt that she has choice and control (which is an important feature for adulthood), her wishes and choices are respected, she can safely decline offers of new foods without judgement - but equally, she will now often take a bite of something to try. The other day, it was radish!

If you ever eat out together, ask where she would like to eat and support that.

I’m not saying this will resolve everything, but it’s a supportive and positive way to approach food.

And yes, if any concerns, a daily multivitamin and mineral.

Hope this helps 💐

Don't stress about it...my husband used to only eat chips and chicken nuggets everyday right up until he went to uni. Then something changed and he now eats everything and anything!

I was the same as a kid as well, but I now eat most things (although I do struggle with my weight)

My sister never 'grew out' of it although we do suspect (as does she) that she's on the Autism Spectrum, and has a lot of sensory issues around food. She's almost 40 and is in better shape than me, and her bloods are fine etc!

The more you push or fuss the more she will resist.

Op, don't worry about it too much. She's only 17 - you really don't need to fix all her dietary foibles before she leaves home. All both of you can do is your best.

As a pp said, she might well turn into a foodie (or her own equivalent) in a few years time. A lot of people do when they move out and start embracing their own independence. Some of the biggest foodies I know would only ever eat UPFs at home growing up (to their parents despair).

I think your attitude that if she eats anything is the right one and I wouldn't rush to change it right now. I think she probably needs longer to heal from her troubles and find her own way.

If she does have ASD, then you might find she works out her own healthier habits as she grows into taking control of the effect it has on her life. She'll probably also take much longer to adjust to new foods then neurotypicals.

I understand the fear when hearing about UPFs, but you haven't failed as her mum. Far from it, your priorities have been keeping her safe and protected, which had been exactly right. Also, for all the data showing that UPFs take a toll on people's health in the long term, equally there are lots of people who have never suffered health issues as a result.

While it's important that as a society we're educated about our food and its provenance, and that we make the healthier choices we can when we can; it doesn't meant that a tube of Pringles is going to kill her - even if she eats them regularly. She's not eating arsenic!

It's great to continue educating her about health, making healthy choices and exercise etc but be careful about her feeling implicit pressure to change. The more confident and happier she is, the easier she'll find it to try new things and the better they'll taste to her.

You're being a great mum, stop feeling guilty x

my teens don't eat as healthily as I'd like. It's difficult - people often say don't buy the crap, but if you have teen girls who may just skip meals then you'd rather they eat something. Plus they're out buying it with their own money anyway.

As far as I'm concerned I make sure that there are lots of good choices available, but allow them to make crappy ones - eg I made a big tuppaware full of couscous and roasted veg this week for packed lunches. Eldest made herself a white roll with ham and a bag of crisps instead.

I would add that I ate predominantly beige foods until I was about 14, when I started forcing myself to eat more veg in a bid to appear more sophisticated. I still don't love veg now, but reached a degree of maturity where I eat a more balanced diet than I'd secretly like to.

Thanks all - appreciate all the messages. Yes she's healthy has lovely shiny hair and good skin so can't be going far wrong. I just need to make sure we have plenty of what she likes and not stress too much.

Exactly the same here OP. Glad to hear that things might change but also we have done what we can

My DD decided she was a vegetarian at 12 but she ate crap as she didn't like a lot of veggies. I suggested she become a pescatarian as I thought she needed something healthier than pasta, potatoes, cheese and crisps and sweets in her diet. She still ate a lot of crap but as she's got older she has added a lot of healthier food to her diet and now eats a full range of vegetables, beans and fibre. She's also cut down on junk food takeaways etc.

I do think it's a phase and they do mostly revert. I've kept making healthy food and offering up veg and salads, quorn bolognaise etc though as she's 22 now we don't always cook and eat together.