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Original poster

Would you speak to the school about this?

9 replies

pastypirate · 07/07/2022 20:29

Dd2 is 9 and seems very happy largely with her friends at school who are girls and boys. We know most of the kids quite well from nursery up.

Yesterday dd2 said 'james had to miss most of music. Felix pushed him into the stinging nettles and he got stung all over he was crying loads' me - did Felix do that on purpose? Dd 'yes but james won't tell the teacher' me - why??? Dd 'because in my class if you snitch everyone makes you feel really really bad so no one will now do james can't do anything'

James is a strapping football star who is twice the size od Felix. I have never seen him cry not once and we have known him since he was 3.

I'm really uncomfortable about this. They not telling culture. Am I over thinking? I may well be.
Dd was very clear she saw this and it wasn't an accident.

OP posts:
Gotchanumbagloria · 07/07/2022 20:32

Definitely tell the teacher but make it categorically clear for the teacher just to be aware so as to address and change the culture, not to put Felix in a vulnerable position.

SnowyPetals · 07/07/2022 20:32

I imagine James's mum will be speaking to the school, this one really isn't your battle.

Shitscared123 · 07/07/2022 20:34

Depends if there is a history of James doing this repeatedly, in which case, I expect school to be dealing with it. I always encourage my son to speak out if he feels something unjust has occurred, however, it’s a tricky balance as they get older.

Shitscared123 · 07/07/2022 20:35

Sorry, I meant Felix.

tiggergoesbounce · 07/07/2022 20:41

Yes, i would mention the culture of dont tell to the teacher, not mentioning any names at this stage maybe ,although im not sure its uncommon at that age to have a no snitch approach

If i knew the hurt boy, i would speak to his mum and see what she planned on doing and if she knew all this "dont tell". I would tell her what i knew.

I think it important that you dont ignore the information you have, if you know it to be true, its all our responsibility to help stamp out bullying wherever we see it.

If it were my lad i would want to be armed with all the information possible to help work it through with the teachers if necessary

Original poster
pastypirate · 07/07/2022 20:45

SnowyPetals · 07/07/2022 20:32

I imagine James's mum will be speaking to the school, this one really isn't your battle.

I did think about this. I guess if she hasn't I'm not sure I want to risk it not being addressed - it's just a quick email

OP posts:
collieresponder88 · 07/07/2022 20:45

I couldn't be bothered to get involved In school stuff like this. It's probably old news now and you never get the full story anyway Move on

Original poster
pastypirate · 07/07/2022 20:47

Shitscared123 · 07/07/2022 20:34

Depends if there is a history of James doing this repeatedly, in which case, I expect school to be dealing with it. I always encourage my son to speak out if he feels something unjust has occurred, however, it’s a tricky balance as they get older.

No not especially. Neither child is a total angel nor a devil. It was the don't tell that bothered me way more than the actual act

OP posts:
Bibbetybobbity · 07/07/2022 20:54

Agree with @collieresponder88 you’ll go crazy if you get involved with stuff like this, I’d leave it unless it directly affects your child (and even then it’s worth being sparing)…

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