Light sleeper. Never in a deep sleep :(

[TiredYorkshireMam]

Hello, I've just had yet another nights bad sleep and getting so fed up of it, thought I would ask on here if anybody is similar.

I am a very light sleeper. So far as I can remember I always have been. The slightest thing wakes me up and often I am just suddenly aware that I'm awake and thinking and have been for some time.

Last night for example I just feel like I've been awake the whole night

I know of people who go to sleep, and then wake up in the morning, having slept right through, with no wake ups. I can count on one hand the amount of times I've done that my entire adult life. And I'm always amazed in the morning.

I do have young kids and for a few years they were terrible sleepers (one much worse than the other) but they are over that now. I'd say maybe 50% of the time one of them will wake up and want to get in bed with me (so one wake up) and 50% of the time they will both sleep straight through.....yet still I'm awake all bloody night

I generally have no problem falling asleep at night and will fall asleep pretty quickly....I just can't stay asleep.

Sometimes, if something is worrying me, I get in a cycle where I am very stressed and can't get to sleep at all, and spend the whole night up and down to the toilet as stress seems to affect my bladder and the whole night just goes to pot because the more I can't sleep the more stressed I get.

But that's fairly rare and seems to be a different issue to the light sleeping, which is long term and constant.

Is this just the way I am? I feel so permanently tired

Oh you poor thing. Broken sleep is the absolute worst. I don't have any real words of wisdom, but just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and I'm exactly the same as you describe, especially the stress cycle thing. I have one of those mythical babies that sleeps reliably through the night and has done for ages, yet I still seem to spend most of my life in a sleep deprived fog 🙁

The only thing that has ever worked for me is taking sleeping tablets, but I know you aren't really meant to take those long term (although I did!). So sorry OP, I wish I could be more help, and I hope someone with better advice will be along soon!

I am the same. I sometimes wear ear plugs and a sleep mask which does help a bit to keep me asleep.

And I wasn't always this way. Before DC I slept through the night. It all changed when I had the kids. They are both teenagers now so it's not them now.

Me too. For the past ten years- I'm mid fifties now- and thought it might be menopause related. Like you, I fall asleep quickly but spend long nights in light sleep or half sleep. I think earplugs help but I'm not usually woken by external noises. I do all the good sleep hygiene, my bed is sooooo comfortable etc.
I imagine that , if sleep is a horizontal line, I hover just above and just below it for much of the night. My Fitbit shows I DO get periods of deep sleep but all I remember is long and frequent periods of being aware I'm not asleep.
I'm quite fit and do all my exercising in the morning as I know evening exercise has a terrible effect on my sleep. I've tried magnesium- supplements and topical. Not really any help.... Have got some melatonin but not bothered trying it yet as I know I can't take it forever and I need a long term change.

Well, it's good to know I'm not alone, but sounds so tough for you guys too 

And yes, I also find that sleeping pills work, but as you say @Fallingfeelslikeflying , im aware that they are not a long term fix.

I've never had any prescribed, I have just bagged a few off family when they have them Can't really remember what they were, but I know one wasn't a sleeping pill as such, it was something that my husband was prescribed when he put his back out. His back got better and he had a few that he didn't need. I kept them and would take one the night before I had something important - job interview etc. The difference in my sleep was amazing.

I tried Herbal Nytol many moons ago and didn't get on with them. A while ago I tried traditional Nytol (not too sure what's in them or if they are ok for long term use?) and I think they made a bit of a difference. I might get some again, will have a read and see if they are ok for long term use.

It made a world of difference when I started wearing ear plugs at night. Hope that helps you

Melatonin
Magnesium
Yoga
Kirkland's Sleep Aid
All have worked for me in the past.

I feel your pain, insomnia is the worst. How old are you? Perimenopause is a sleep killer.

And try ear plug. You might be subconsciously responding to a tiny noise.

@Fivemoreminutes1 I've tried earplugs, years ago, couldn't get on with them. I tried the foam ones, rubbery ones, and the kind of siliconey ones that you mould to the shape of your ears....ended up in a sticky mess with bits of my hair tangles up in them

I also think that from a security point of view (and also the kids) I wouldn't feel comfortable wearing ear plugs these days.

Agree with a pp, I have always been this way, but it has got worse since I had kids.

Late 30s, and have been this way for years so won't be perimenopause......although now dreading it getting even worse then!

Thank you, I will look up melatonin.

It might be worth asking your gp to refer you to a sleep specialist for a sleep study. I sleep like you and I've been diagnosed with parasomnia

Just looked that up....that sounds terrifying, you poor thing. Have you managed to sort it?

I've never had anything like that (sleep walking, night terrors etc). I have had sleep paralysis a few times over the years (awful) but not for a long time.

I'm just never really asleep when I lived in house shades years ago, house mates always commented on and found it amusing that if they peeped into my room and whispered my name in the middle of the night to see if I was awake I would instantly say "yeah?"

They weren't being cruel - they just thought that if I was asleep, I'd be asleep and wouldn't hear them and they'd leave me alone. Once they realised that I was always awake enough to hear them and answer them they stopped doing it.

@Squirrelsnut where do you buy melatonin tablets please? Or do you need a prescription?

Hi - have a look at lululight on Instagram - it’s a new app that is absolutely incredible and you can sign up for a free trial I think!

Would that keep me asleep though? Is that not just for initially getting to sleep?

I'm exactly the same, I'm 42 and have been a really light sleeper for my whole life. One of my children is exactly the same, he's very easily disturbed and although the falls asleep quickly he wakes multiple times a night. I always thought he would grow out of it (he's 5) but I never have!

I use an eye mask and white noise now which does help a bit (can't do ear plugs my kids are all young and I wouldn't want to not be able to hear them). I also take piriton for allergies and that actually helps me sleep when I take one.

I feel your pain, I get much less sleep than I should anyway and because it's so light I never feel really rested.

I found that it made me deeply relaxed and I stayed asleep and woke up feeling as if I’d had a proper sleep for once!

Yes, sounds just like me @mistermagpie. Awful, isn't it?

And yes, I have been thinking of trying antihistamines at night but nit sure which ones have the drowsy effect....will try piriton.

Thank you, will give it a go

I'm sorry, OP.
I have had similar issues. I now manage to sleep fairly well, but still wake up needing the loo in the night lots and I'm mid 30s and haven't had children yet. It's definitely stress related for me as doctors have checked!

Things that have helped me sleep better between waking up include:

• sleep mask
• white noise machine (you'd still hear your children if anything happened)
• CBT via GP (I think you can self refer via an NHS app now for CBT and possibly do online?)
• More exercise in the fresh air
• Less alcohol

I'm still thinking of buying a weighted blanket as I've heard good things.

Have you tried a herbal tea? Twinings do a nice one called Sleep Tea, with camomile and passion flower. I find it very effective - but make sure you brew it in a small cup or only fill your mug half full of water - otherwise you will wake up in the middle of the night needing the loo!

I am exactly the same as you @TiredYorkshireMam. I get off to sleep without any problems but I just can't maintain the sleep for more than about 1-2 hours. I have no children so can't use the baby years as a reason for broken sleep. When I wake in the night, I need the loo but I don't think that is what wakes me. The waking up, peeing and snoozing lasts all night until I'm fully awake at 4am. I've read something about sleep maintenance insomnia but I've never approached a professional about getting this investigated further. I'm reading the helpful tips from posters in this thread for some inspiration. I sympathise with you OP, I really do 😢

Try Piping Rock for Melatonin. It's fairly easy to get. It's sold on the continen too if you're going abroad this summer.
Like pp said, try white noise too. Also ASMR - find a 'genre' you enjoy.

And...unfortunately...the one thing that absolutely guarantees me deep sleep is a very physically active day, with some time spent outside.

Sleeping pills helped me a lot, I had a few prescriptions over the past year but I was back to the same problem as soon as the 14 days were up. In the end my mum gave me a lot and they were enough to really help me over the past year. I don’t take them now as my sleep is better but without the ones my mum supplied me with I don’t think I’d be here now, I felt that depressed and low due to grief which caused the lack of sleep. [embarrassed]

the only other thing that helped was phenergan. Again the doctors only prescribed that once and I resorted to buying it online. I didn’t take them that often as they made me feel so groggy the next day.

I do appreciate the addiction issues when it comes to sleeping tablets and doctors but I’ve felt suicidal due to lack of sleep. I also operate dangerous machines at work and I could cause a serious accident if I’m chronically sleep deprived. I’d rather be dependent on sleeping tablets and be alive than not

Thanks all. And sympathies to all those in the same boat. It is awful.

@Squirrelsnut thank you, will look that up.

@Cyberworrier yes I think it is stress for me too. And @WutheringMights yes the pee cycle is awful.

I actually had an investigative op on my bladder years ago, before kids, because I was peeing constantly 24/7. Night and day. Bladder always felt full, but never was. So I would be up peeing tiny amounts all night. No UTIs or anything and the explorative op found nothing wrong. So I was told it was "in my head" but no further action or help offered.

This peeing in the night actually stopped once I had my first child. I think because I was absolutely on my knees with tiredness, when I did wake in the night the urge to go back to sleep was much greater than the urge to pee, so it got me out the habit of it. Now, I generally only get up to pee once in the night, despite waking lots.

(In the event of being really stressed though, I will be up all night peeing tiny amounts in that horrible cycle, but I know that it very much much in my head and stress related).

When I am absolutely exhausted, I can wake in the night and have that pleasant, drowsy "going back to sleep" feeling and just drift off again. I don't mind that. But the constant "half dozing" all night nights are just awful.

I do agree that a lot of physical exercise in the fresh air helps fall into a deeper sleep. I just so rarely get the opportunity for this. Partly because of the kids, partly because I don't sleep well so I'm always exhausted. It's a vicious circle.

I don't drink and I don't really have caffeine aside from a few coffees in the morning. But because I am so tired I do overweight and I crave sugar. I'm around 5'8 and a good weight for me is 11 stone. I'm currently 13 stone (the heaviest I've been and trying to lose it) but I just feel so lethargic and tired. I have a sedentary job which doesn't help. I spend a lot of time walking with the kids at a snails pace, luggi them about etc but it's not actual exercise. I never get time to relax, I feel like I'm constantly on the go but it's not proper exercise so I'm
not shifting the weight.

It's just all connected, isn't it? I need to eat less and move more, but it's very hard when I'm so tired from lack of sleep.