Grey hair help

[JoanOfAllTrades]

I have been blessed with family genetics where going grey early is A Thing. One of my cousins was completely grey at 18.

So, I’m sick of having to dye my hair every 5 weeks. I suppose I’m lucky in that my hypothyroidism and PCOS have slowed my hair growth right down. I could just be being lazy but I thought I would transition to just being grey.

Has anyone done this? Any advice?

The hairdresser said that because I’ve been dyeing it for so many years, having started during high school although it’s been cut a lot as well since then, and because my natural colour is black and because my hair is curly/coily, she will have to lighten it gradually over a period of time.

She made it it sound like a year or more because she said that I would have to go every 2 months and get it slowly lightened so as to not damage my hair.

In my naivety I believed that there was some potion that the hairdresser could put on that would strip the dye from my hair. NO! I was about to ask her why, when I quickly reminded myself, silently, that they were a hairdressing salon not Hogwarts.

I have my first appointment on Saturday, I have no idea what to expect and she kept saying she would put toner on and I’ve no idea what that is either!

Help!

Hello, no answers here but am a year in from stopping the dye cold turkey and it’s still not all out, just about mid ear length, i suppose (also hypothyroid!). I think it’ll be almost another 8 months or so before I’m done. So maybe a year going lighter at the salon could be worth it, if it’s doable for you.

When I decided to grey (after years of dyeing my dark hair/roots) my hairdresser put blonde highlights through it and that really helped. It broke up the dark colour. It was about 6 - 8 months of growing it out and then I had a sort of pixie cut and it all came out grey/white.

Honestly that's what I'd recommend. My hair looks fab now - and I was grateful during lockdown that I'd just left it grey.

What your hairdresser is suggesting is exactly what I had done.

It was a good way to transition slowly without wrecking my hair and me feeling awful. I'm now 90% grey and it's great.

@FallingLeavesAndGentleBreezes how do you like your hair now? Any regrets?

@MadMadMadamMim how did you find the blonde looked? I'm olive skinned and can look a bit sallow in the wrong light, so although I've read that there's a blonde colour for everyone, really? I'm sceptical.

@LaunchingTeabag how long has the whole process taken? Are you a fast grower or slow? I'm assuming they use some sort of bleach because the hairdresser cut some hair off, to 'see how the colour lifts'.

I'm scared of having my hair cut because it will take forever to regrow and I also have a slight fear of going to the hairdressers. I usually dye it myself and for the past few years, my son has been trimming it for me. He's not a hairdresser!

Also, what is toner and why do I need it?

I have a mix of all over highlights and lowlights through mine to blend the grey. She uses about 4 different colours - at the moment I've got a deep chocolate brown, copper, golden blonde and ash blonde. I'm so pleased to be out of the awful root cycle - I have them done every 3rd visit (go every 6 weeks for a cut) but have gone longer. It also keeps mine in good condition as the grey can be a bit wiry. I'm a cool brunette (or rather was before going grey!).

I think it probably took around 2 years to go completely grey from root to tip.

It looked fine, OP. I mean...it wouldn't have been my first choice, but it did make it faster and easier to go grey. I'm fairly ivory skinned - classically Irish looks, dark hair, pale skin, blue eyes (or I was when young!)

I've now got almost pure white hair and I like it. Toner stops your hair looking brassy/yellow. It's worth putting on - or at least using a purple shampoo and conditioner once a week.

I decided to embrace my silver hair at 49. I was having to colour my roots every 2 weeks by this point.
I couldn't face going cold turkey, so had a (ruinously expensive) full head of blond highlights. I then had less and less highlights at each subsequent appointment.
It took about 2 years to be completely silver, but that was because I have long hair. It would have been quicker with mid-length or short hair.
I absolutely love my silver hair. The condition is far better than my coloured hair, and I've saved so much money as all I need now is a trim and blow dry every 3 to 4 (to 6!!) months.

I just went cold turkey and stopped dying. Toyed with getting it highlighted etc but couldn't really justify the cost and was actually sick of the whole hair colouring process! I last had it highlighted in 2018, box dye over the top a couple of times but I used a colour stripper at home that took that out. My hair grows really slowly so still has lots of blonde in from the 2018 highlights! I reckon another year and it will be all natural. So its taken about 5 years! And its only shoulder length!

I’m in a similar situation to you. I’ve been dying my hair since I was 19 because of greys and I’m just so sick of the band of grey.

I went to the hairdressers last week and because of how long I’d been dying it for and the colours id used (mahogany brown) he was honest and said it would be a process. I had highlights put in and then he used an ash toner. It’s not quite blonde but brown with coppery highlights, the plan is to never touch a brown dye again and the greys going to come in along the blonde and brown and we are going to go gradually lighter each time.

It feels a bit empowering to embrace the grey finally! I’m 31 and I just couldn’t bear colouring every 3 weeks for the rest of my life!

@Badger1970 So are those toners that you have put on, or dyes? It sounds very nice. Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels the same way in terms of wanting to go grey. I did say to my husband that if I didn't like it, I could colour it again and he went ashen and he said "after spending all that money?" and I felt a bit sorry for him as I laughed.

@MadMadMadamMim Pure white sounds classic, like a unicorn! See, that's another thing that worries me. What if my grey is just a muddy, dirty looking grey? Nothing would surprise me. My daughter says that she thinks the greys look more like a silvery colour. I suppose time will tell.

I'm thinking of getting some fake tan and tanning my face to look less sallow? and more vibrant, because I remember when Kim Kardashian went grey and she looked fantastic with that deep tan, not that I would go that deep. I actually thought she was naturally that colour until my daughter told me not. Perhaps I should get a spray tan? I've never had one of those either. I feel like I haven't lived! So any suggestions for tans, I would also greatly appreciate!

I was 38 when I decided to ditch the dye (the women on my mums side all had a big white stripe very early and I inherited that) and as I knew I was most white in that area and the hairdressers weren't that helpful I decided to use ColourB4 three times to strip as much colour as I could, and then I bleached the remaining colour out of the front section. With my hair up, it looked OK then to grow out the remaining stained hair. If I'd been more distributed grey I'd have had high lift highlights to break up the line I think.
Anyway, 10 years grey now, I love it and get sooo many compliments

I stoped dyeing my hair at the start of lockdown and it was about 5 months before I went to a hairdresser.
Mine had been dyed brown rather than black, but otherwise my issues were the same as yours.
I found a fab colourist ( after talking to several ) and she put in 2 colours of lowlights in a T shape. That blended in the roots enough for me not to worry about appearing in public, and she repeated it about 7 months later, leaving a couple of white streaks at the front untouched.
I had a couple of inches cut off each time, keeping long layers and about shoulder length.
It's mostly silver now, though there is still some faded dye at the bottom, it is not very noticeable and will go with the next cut.
Having the lowlights meant the transition did take longer, but my hair looked fine in the meantime. It has become curlier( maybe due to the layers?).
I use purple shampoo and conditioner weekly to keep it silvery rather than brassy.

@CMOTDibbler I went to a new hairdresser on Saturday and she said she loved my silver, and that people pay to get that colour. I've even had complete strangers come up to me and compliment my hair colour since I grew out my silver. Never, ever happened with my coloured hair...

I went from dyed brown to platinum blonde in one sitting, and then toned it silver and grew it out.

But - i had short hair so condition wasn't a concern, and it did dry it out a bit, but not as much as i expected

My hairdresser did warn me it might take 2 goes but it took beautifully.

I went cold turkey. Had a horrid few months when it was obviously greying at the roots but kept it nicely trimmed and eventually went for a short cut (short bob).
5 years along now.. hair past bra strap with swirls of white, brown, grey, everything. It grows so much faster now (or seems to..probably because it's healthier and doesn't need trimming as often)

No regrets on going grey!

I went cold turkey because I was sick of being in the hairdressers every two weeks for regrowth, and sick of the expense. So the last thing I wanted was a growing out plan that involved more time in the hairdressers, and more money.

I just let it go grey, and I wore it tied back whilst the badger stripes were at their worst.

I’m almost a decade on now and I’ve never once regretted it (and I go to the hairdressers just 3 or 4 times a year for a trim and tidy up).

If you have highlights with bleach they will need to keep using toner to stop them going yellow. Purple shampoo can only do so much. I tried that and have a yellow stripe plus at the bottom where originally it blended. Having to get it all cut off.

I'm about 8 months into my grey transition and doing what your hairdresser suggested except I am going with a balayage on the ends and leaving the roots alone. The first time made me look like a brunette with blond ends and the first three months were the worst as I had the grey root stripe. The second balayage brought more of ash look to the dyed part of my hair and blended the roots in better and the third balayage kind of brought it all together, but it's still a mix of colours- see my pic if you're interested! I actually thought I was a lot more grey than I am and was surprised that I'm more salt and pepper.

Different hair "takes" bleach differently- some people can go straight from dyed brown to platinum but I would say they are in the minority. Most people, particularly those who have used at home hair dye and switched brands will need a few applications of bleach to strip out all the old dye and reach the desired colour. Whilst that process is happening your hair will veer towards what I like to call bl-orange- a sort of browny / orange / blonde colour. I hated that. I only use purple shampoo and conditioner now as otherwise I lose the grey / silver tone in the ends of my hair. I use bleach London smoky colour and would recommend it.

Oh that photo made me double take! I scrolled up slowly and thought it was a young woman in a corset with long hair! Think it's the heart shape 😀

@JoanOfAllTrades I’m getting used to it. Tbh the faded ends of the dye are the worst, a bit yellowish, even though I use purple shampoo. But I can see it will look good grown out and already looks nice up.
Mavismonkey with the balayage looks amazing - definitely go that way if you can!

Like yourself, I was destined to go grey early and have been dying my hair since my early 20s.

At 36 I went from shoulder length brunette locks to an ash grey pixie cut and went lighter and lighter until it was almost white, then let the grey grow through

I'm in the process. I'm using semi perm dye to minimise the greys while the remaining perm brown dye grows out on the ends of my hair. They said it will be much easier to dye it lighter then. That's my plan - more blonde for a while and then ultimately go for silver/grey.

At the start of the first lockdown I needed mine dyed and after months of no hair appointments decided to let it grow out cold turkey. It took roughly 18 months to go from mid brown with a fringe to natural colour and no fringe which is now black with 80% grey at front and probably 50% grey at the back. I like the colour of the front, and toying with the idea of high/low lights at the back. Working on finding products to tame the wirey grey.