Why is losing weight so hard/demoralising??

[Onlyrainbows]

I'm heavy in comparison to how I look (which doesn't really help!) But I know I need to lose 1st to be in my happy place. I'm doing it the right way (eat less - move more) but it's so slow!! And apart from my clothes (which obviously fit better when I'm smaller) I don't see any difference. I don't even think I look that overweight (which I am BTW), as by BMI I should lose at least 5kg.

Photo for reference.

no, you dont look massive in the photo as you go in under your bust. is it a posture thing, shoulders back, pull tummy to spine etc. or try as I have done and lost a stone via The glucose Revolution book/diet. im evangelical about this now, having never lost weight easily before, im older and still heavy so some way to go, but im re training my way of eating, still eating all that i did before, not much of a gym bunny, only do country walks

For me it's obvious that reduced activity levels + increased alcohol consumption make me gain weight. My anemia is one of the biggest factors on my reduced activity levels though (which I've resumed).

OP do you work out? You look quite strong and muscle weighs more than fat. BMI is an outdated tool

I do! But I don't lift (my dumbbells are 3kg each). It's mostly dance cardio, with some HIIT and yoga added to the mix.

Fast walking, if you could do an hour in the morning and then again in the evening you will shed the weight and it will give you that leaner look I suspect you are looking for. You need to walk fast though
I aim for about 1.40 mins a day and I literally eat everything in sight and am just over about 8.3 stone and am 5, 7"
Late 40's too

You don't look overweight at all. Surely if you look good (you do) then why let the scales dictate your happiness?

Bmi isn't accounting for your exercise, which you are very obviously doing - you look very strong and fit.

Keep feeding your exercise and strength and you'll see more results in appearance and BMI won't even be a speck on the horizon for you, because you'll know that it's not relevant.

workshy unfortunately I don't have a lot of spare time. I workout during my work downtime (WFH) but I have to be within an arm's reach of my laptop. I used to run marathons and I know that would just melt the weight away, but a) training what I would call "properly" will only be possible once my LO goes to school FT and b) until my anemia is fully under control running is more or less out of the question

After having my children my weight has crept up by about 8 stone. I literally carry around with me all the time a slimmer version of me!

Only recently I'm starting to give real thought to the how I view myself in my head and how I treat my body. I suffer with rehabilitating low self esteem and worth and as such literally stuff my face in a way which is punitive.

Its a process for me.

Jesus your body is amazing OP!!! I'm shocked you're overweight as you say. I understand it's about how you feel but you look great if it's any consolation.

For me, it's been reducing carbs, reducing alcohol, cutting out snacks and being aware of how calorific certain things are. I've lost 8kg doing a modified version of the fasting diet since Easter. gone from 78 to 70 kg, I'm 5'9" and now comfortably back in size 10/12 and healthy BMI.
There is no magic cure though and I just decided one day that I was sick of clothes not fitting. I was shocked when I weighed myself and was about a stone heavier than I expected. That jolted me to take action!

My biggest consolation is that I'm smaller and lighter than when I was 15.

Oh and I get annoyed that a healthy BMI for me means being a small size 8/size 6.

You have a similar natural shape to me. I hold weight all over, so it hides quite well and people never guess how heavy I am. I am also reasonably well muscled naturally and through exercise, so I looked 'strong' rather than the fat looking flabby if you get me.

I did lose the 'spare' stone of weight and look much better. Sort of lithe, slightly softened by a smaller amount of fat. I'm now BMI 22. I also feel much lighter on my feet and my CV fitness is improved. I recommend it, even if not for aesthetic reasons. It is very hard to shift the last few pounds though.

Can I be cheeky and suggest you look at posture? Your posture in the photo looks like 'sway back' posture or similar. Maybe you are just standing funny in the photo, but if not working on your posture can be game changing for fitness (and aches and pains)! If you tuck your bum like that normally, you probably aren't using your glutes properly and are compensating with smaller muscles. Standing and moving as you were meant to will make exercise easier, and potentially therefore weight loss...

Muscle doesn't weigh more than fat, a lb of anything weighs a lb! Muscle is more dense than fat so a lb of muscle takes up less space than a lb of fat. There was a thread recently about what dress size people wore at a certain height and weight and many of them were wearing 2 dress sizes bigger than I do at the same stats! I'm right at the top of the healthy BMI range and wearing anything between an 8-12 depending on brand and fit. Last time I had a hospital pre-op the nurse was shocked at what i weighed for my size!
Your HIIT and yoga will definitely be helping with muscle mass and you don't look particularly overweight. You need to burn around 3500 calories to burn a lb of fat. So that's a 500 calorie deficit a day to loose a lb a week.....which is quite depressing once you start tracking food and work out how little margin for "fun" there is with food!

You don't look overweight. You look strong and healthy, with an enviably flat stomach.

Have you checked your height to weight ratio

Posture is only to show in my small mirror! I think that's just my normal mirror selfie pose

Isn't height to weight ratio BMI??

OP why are you trying to lose weight? BMI isn't a great measurement.

I am fat. I have been thin (underweight).

if you are okay on a height/weight chart, and I suspect you are, then what's the worry? Also have you got any figures for body composition because you look very fit and will maybe weigh heavier than you look because of muscle.

Weight in kg / height in m squared

What are your measurements? It’s hard to see how anyone at the top of the bmi healthy range would be a size 6/8

I think a measurement is off somewhere

Sorry, I mention my own weight as it's usually obvious if/when something is wrong, so I'm wondering if a specific health concern has cropped up.

Last year I went to a gym to use one of their "fancy machines" and it turned out my body composition wasn't as "lean" as I thought it should be. When my BMI was basically 24 (23.7) my measurements were 93/65/90. I'm currently almost 27, and my stats are 97/70/95. All approx

sorry, waist to height ratio.
You really don't look overweight!

My height to waist ratio are all good (it really helps I have a flat stomach) always had even when I was 83kg!