What would you think if…

[Chattycathydoll]

A school mum suddenly started dressing in outlandish clothes?

I used to be very goth, lived in new rocks, never seen without a ton of eyeliner on. Now I only dress up on the odd weekend ex has DD and I’m going out to a concert with DP. I never wanted DD to be teased for having a weirdo for a mother and received a lot of judgment at baby groups due to my age (19 when I had her), so have dressed in boring clothes pretty much since she was born.

This weekend DP persuaded me to do something I’ve always wanted- I got a side shave/undercut. I hid it on the school run as I’m still conscious of trying to fit in. But part of me wants to say fuxk it, especially as DD has established her own identity enough at school. I want to start wearing clothes I actually like again. But still a bit unsure of how far to go/whether to keep blending in.

So- what would you think if a school mum suddenly showed up with an edgy new haircut and makeup? Would you think she’d totally lost the plot?!

How well do you know the other school mums?

I wouldn’t think the person had lost the plot, no. I do find full on goth a bit scary though. (Not sure why, I was a big Korn, Rammstein, Murderdolls etc fan back in the day so exposed to it a fair bit.)

I think you should own it. I don’t think most of the school run would bat an eyelid and the ones that would are probably the judgemental kind who’d have something to say about any outfit you chose.

Good luck!

Be who you want to be.

I am a retired teacher and have had a few school mums who were full on Goth. Not a problem at all.

I could have written this post. Just do it, wear what you like and what makes you feel good. I spent a few years wearing what I "should" wear and started reverting back to what I actually like about a year ago. I feel so much better!

I too was a goth (uber goth tbh 🤣)

@ReeseWitherfork well enough to sit and chat with as kids play in the park, not well enough to meet up with outside of that! I used to miss the school runs due to work so would only see other parents in the park on the weekend or occasional sunny evenings.

That’s true re them being judgmental anyway. I had dip-dyed rainbow hair last year and even that got comments from a mum renowned for epic backhanded compliments, in spite of my unremarkable jeans and a t shirt outfits!

I suppose the other thing is; why am I teaching DD there’s only one way to look like a mother? That’s not what I want her to learn.

@Changenameobviousreasons thats awesome to read! I’m glad you’re getting yourself back again 😁 what do your DC think?

I’d think it a bit odd that somebody would dress up in lots of make up and special clothes to do the school run, but that would be the same whether they were goth or dolled up like they were a contestant on Love Island. Unless you would then be wearing your clothes and make up to work? But the haircut or hair dye, wouldn’t think anything of it at all. You’re overthinking it, just dress how you want to and feel comfortable without making a big deal of it.

I would love to say oh just be you, do what makes you happy. But I’ve learned the hard way recently that people are so very judgemental, and no child needs that on top of general life. Personally I’d wait until your dd is a bit older.

@ComtesseDeSpair I WFH freelance, so both have no reason to get dressed up & simultaneously try to make an effort every day anyway (even if just in boring ‘mum clothes’). I have no need to dress nicely as it is just me at my desk all day, but also don’t want to use that as an excuse to not put any effort in day after day because after all, I’m not dressing nicely for anyone but myself. I don’t want to live in loungewear just because there’s no one else to see me! Otherwise I’d never make an effort with my appearance and feel generally rubbish. I did enjoy being able to dress in the most OTT outfits and makeup during lockdown bc who cares if I look batshit- it’s only me and DD who was usually dressed in one animal costume or another. At one point we had ‘ballgown Fridays’