11year old daughter and body hair

[mineallmine]

My daughter is 11 and neurodiverse. Puberty has started, no period yet but she has underarm and public hair. My question is about this and what to do with it. I have done nothing up til now as there has been no need (and the feminist in me screams that there is still no need, body hair is normal and natural.) However I've noticed now that her public hair is poking out of her swimsuit. She is absolutely comfortable with her changing body and I'm so happy about this but I feel that we need to

Whoops, hit a button, sorry.

Anyway, what to other parents of children do about this? I'm an older mother, and don't wax etc myself. Because she us not NT, I couldn't let her shave herself, she wouldn't be physically able. But she's too young to bring for waxing, isn't she??

I just want to do the right thing, please be gentle. We cope with a lot.

Swim shorts. Don't worry about her underarms until she does. All good. Absolutely no need to wax shave or anything else an 11 year old who clearly isn't bothered by it.

At least wait until she asks you about it (she may never ask). I really wouldn't be foisting any undue pressure to be hairless on an 11 year old unless they've brought it up themselves.

Buy her a new swimming suit like this.

Another swimsuit with a lower leg cut. Maybe shorts? If she’s not bothered about it I don’t think you want to be trimming/shaving as the ends will get pokey and I don’t know if that will be a sensory issue. But I understand you want to save her from potential teasing!

Thanks for the replies.

I agree that if she was NT, I would absolutely wait for her to initiate the conversation. She probably won't ever notice, that's the thing. She'd walk around naked in front of anyone and has to be encouraged to be a bit body private. I suppose i just don't want anyone to comment to her about it. And because I don't do the waxing etc myself, I don't know what's 'normal' (and body hair is what's normal, I know this!!) She's already different, I don't want her to be more different than she needs to be.

The boy short swimsuits are ideal and I bought her a bikini with shorts but she doesn't like the shorts- she's a very girly girl and loves pink and flowers and unicorns and rainbows etc. She's very young for her age.

A ladyshave thing is safe to use and zero pain.

Mountain warehouse have some fab 'girly' swim shorts. Although annoyingly the ties are fake on them so you can't adjust the waist, you might need to go down a size to ensure they stay on. M&s are also doing some nice board shorts at the moment.

Maybe a swim skirt so it feels a bit more frilly to her but stil has some extra cover up?

I worked in a special school. A family were reported to children's services because they removed their 18yo's pubic hair.

If, after the conversation she was keen to shave, what about something like a lady shave that she wouldn't be able to cut herself with?
amzn.eu/hzbBDVw

My teen is competitive swimmer and has a mix of suits but likes the shorts style ones too. Plus when you do need them period pants are brill Sainsburys /wuka/modibod do them in smaller sizes (I’ve got a ND DD as well). Or try the cream removal with supervision if needed.

Decathlon do swimming costumes with legs cut low like shorts. Women's and girls sizes.

I can't link from my phone, but john lewis have a tankini set (rash vest top and shorts) with a pink unicorn design, that goes up to age 12

Something like this?
www.decathlon.co.uk/p/1-piece-swimming-skirt-swimsuit-lila-all-omi//R-p-313403?mc=8647863&utm_term=8647863-4323878&&iv=iv_p_1_g_63052683495_c_316341522215_w_aud-308557097453:pla-306378754696_n_g_d_m_v__l__t__r_x_pla_y_15177021_f_online_o_8647863-4323878_z_GB_i_en_j_306378754696_s__e__h_1006926_ii__vi&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIiL-OuMXf-AIVR4BQBh2aeg3sEAQYCyABEgLPt_D_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

www.next.co.uk/g64322s3/m07437#m07437

Lots of lovely suggestions made with short sets. I was wondering if you had started talking to her about private areas of the body as she is growing up.

Another vote for Philips ladyshave. They are only about £18 last for ages and difficult to cut yourself with. Only if she wants to as I think body hair is more normal and accepted now but then kids at that age can be so self conscious so I think it’s nice you are giving her options.

Never use a razor in the bikini area anyway - the skin is far too delicate and it will grow back sharp and uncomfortable. I second the depilatory cream idea.
But for now as she is still so young a shorts style swimsuit sounds ideal.

I actually have a Phillips ladyshave myself and think they're brilliant because:

• easy to use
• you can't cut yourself with it
• it's not a really close shave so you don't get ingrown hairs
• it does not aggravate your skin at all or leave razor rash
• no ongoing cost.

I definitely wouldn't do waxing - it's painful. And I agree it shouldn't be necessary but if you want to avoid teasing in my opinion you're doing the right thing. I remember a girl getting teased at my athletics club because she was running around with dark pubes poking out of her gym knickers. Her parents mustn't have said anything to her. I remember going to stay over and they didn't have anything like eye make-up remover, a hair dryer etc. Which is fine, but for pubic hair I think it's different and they should've said something. That is different than leg hair and underarm hair. Life is hard enough for kids without additional problems.

I also think the swim shorts are way better than standard swimsuits anyway!

I agree with other posters, be led by her and if you think it’s necessary then steer her towards bikini shirts that give more coverage. If she never asks to remove her body hair then that’s absolutely fine. I helped my 11 year old DD shave under her arms for the first time at the weekend but that was because she’s been asking about it for a while.

Definitely don’t let her shave or wax before she ask you about her pubic hair, if she’s not bothered why would you be bothered? If you must do something a shorts are out of the question wear towels to the pool side the slip into the water, no one can see pubes through the water.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to respond kindly. I was at a pool today (we're on holidays so this is how I had time to stop and notice) and it's so much easier for boys and men.
I'll look for the sets with girly shorts.

@Higgeldypiggeldy35
That decathlon one looks just the job! Thanks!

@OMGOMGOMGHELP
Also love the next one and wish I'd seen that before our holiday, it would have been perfect.