What do you do at the weekends, without kids?

[KupoNutCoffee]

Because I'm crap at them. I'm frustrated at how crap they turn out, I want to do 'something' and get out the house but inevitably it turns into leaving...mid afternoon, to go round shops not to buy anything, annoyed that the husband doesn't want to be there, but his only suggestions are the cinema (even though there's naff all on) or bowling.

Full disclosure, dh would be perfectly happy to stay in and play video games. And I wouldn't mind him doing that Saturday - if we have a Sunday planned. Or vice versa.

We managed the cinema yesterday afternoon. But honestly I don't know. I feel he doesn't necessarily want to do anything new in case it turns out crap - but is seems equally frustrated at the current selection of what we do together. Neither us are particularly active so there's no great enthusiasm for walks or bike rides.

Attempting to discuss this, he's definitely happy to try and do things at the weekend, but has no ideas either.

So what do you do at the weekend?

Gym classes/swimming. See my mum or have family over for dinner. Take the dog to the pub for a couple of drinks. Wine, telly, takeaway. Nothing massively exciting.

Walks around national trust type places or local nature reserves. Gardening, sewing, reading.

Trail running and cycling - though you’ve said not your thing. Nightclubbing. An early brunch out when we’ve been up all night. Long lazy afternoons in the pub with our friends, or big park picnics in the summer. Trips to the garden centre and then pottering around the garden. Festivals. Debauchery. Helping out at the local museum. Aimless ambling explorations around London interspersed with stops at cafes or pubs. Going to watch the horse racing. Finding a random destination with a cheap train fare and then going there just to see what Pulborough / Ramsgate / Cleethorpes is like.

I mean, all sorts. But to do things together you do need to be on the same page and it sounds as though you aren’t. You need to be in agreement that you have one weekend day where you do something together and be committed to both coming up with an idea and being enthusiastic about doing it. Your OH sounds like a bit of a joy-sapper: is he like this in other aspects of life?

We both have stressful FT jobs, so there's a fair amount of lolling about at the weekends, to be fair. Staring at screens. Plus the usual crap - catching up on laundry, housework, gardening, DIY, errands......

But I know exactly what you mean - it is really frustrating on Sunday night feeling you've wasted two days doing nothing very much.

I think the key is planning ahead - try and get something in the diary each weekend then there's less temptation to do nothing. Either something social (arrange a drink with mates, throw a BBQ) or go out somewhere. If you're not into walks/sports, maybe get a train into London or nearest city, or visit a stately home, go for a mooch and find a nice bar/teashop, local market/car-boot, book a comedy club....just one thing each weekend staves off the boredom.

Went to a family do Saturday and a friend's wedding on Sunday, we'll always go out for a walk somewhere, even if it's just a mooch around our neighborhood that ends in cake and coffee. Things like taking the kids to the playground or meeting a friend or two locally. But there's usually stuff on in summer - quite a lot of fairs and mini village/town festivals.
Look on Eventbrite etc or local newsletters for what's on.
Find things you both enjoy? New cafe? Library/bookshop?

I'm probably too active for you as my weekends usually involve parkrun, running club and maybe a gym or swim session!
Often travel for weekends away to see family and friends who don't live locally, or book a cheap Premier Inn night away somewhere.
I live in a touristy city so there's plenty of museums, galleries, attractions etc if i wished to visit them (often only do this when I have visitors though).
Dinner out with friends.
Theatre or cinema.
Housework!

We don’t have kids but we do have a dog so she has to be everyday including weekends, if we didn’t walk her I’d have a lie in both days, watch Netflix and drink booze! As it happens we walk locally or a short car ride away and end that walk with a cafe or pub lunch and we usually make the effort to cook a nice meal rather than quick mid week meals! We also do spend time in the garden together weeding and doing fun tasks like that.. I sound so boring 🙈

Well my weekends are rarely child free.
However this weekend we did a big bike ride
Sat on the beach
Watched an outdoor show
Did a bit of house sorting.

If I was child free for the weekend I might go to a music gig and stay in a hotel afterwards
Coffee, bookshops, natural trust
Go out to a local group I enjoy
Stay in bed late then get a brunch
Big dog walk.
Go to the pub

Slightly different as I work weekends, but if we have a day off;
visit family
invite family/friends for food
alton towers/wildlife park/national trust place etc. for a big day out
swimming
country show
flower show
art/craft exhibition
market day
christmas markets
Go to town, look round a museum or gallery, and have lunch

The key to trips is to plan ahead! Line everything up so you get up and go straight out, otherwise like you say, we’ll not be up early, have a looong breakfast, take our time with the dog walk, potter about doing chores and going in circles for the umbrella and clean shoes and wallet and do we have a discount voucher somewhere and then it’s only 10 minutes and the washing machine will be finished so might as well get things on the line…

Honestly, if I get an unexpected early finish I don’t bother any more, by the time we’ve made a plan and got ready to go out it’s nearly dark and I’m going loopy. Now I just announce as I come in that I’ll be doing a nice lunch, and having a bath or a nap. Indulgent and achievable!

@CointreauVersial definitely planning in advance would probably help. I think there's definitely a mental check of 'right, kupo has nothing planned, so she doesn't want to do anything, I'm free to play video games!'.

And like MrsElf says, if nothings planned, it ends up being afternoon before we've decided on something, and even later before we've left.

@ComtesseDeSpair I don't think he means to be, he can be quite laid back. But then, in attempt to do something interesting, we were trying to do a scratch off date thing, got annoyed he just wasn't, and he said, he doesn't get excited, so he's not disappointed. I just couldn't quite explain, how this avoidance was what was made things turn out disappointing in the first place!

I think there's a bit of a disparity between me thinking, some things need effort to be enjoyed, whereas he maybe takes it as, if it was fun he doesn't need to try and make it so.

Appreciate the ideas. We could definitely try and look at places we can just amble around and enjoy. Plan in some big weekend trips - having them in the diary might help break up the feeling we do nothing week in/week out.

Cinema
eat out
Sunday is often a day out with lunch, yesterday was a costal walk with a pub lunch in the middle.
BBQ’s
shopping
Top Golf , a fun driving range place
National Trust, visit an old house then have lunch and go for a walk
occasional trips to local theatre and once or twice a year a London show.
My DH and I are retired so do lots of hobby stuff such as swimming, go to the spa, golf during the week.

How about suggesting you pick one thing each a month and the you both have to do it without the other one moaning?
It could be a day out or an evening, some friends over for a games night, a night away (Wowcher etc), a new restaurant that’s opened, an exhibition etc, etc.

Car shows, music gigs, comedy shows, parties, eating out, cinema, aeroplane shows, days out to the seaside, weekends away, walking about in London and seeing what takes out fancy, experiences (flying, feeding zoo animals, gin making etc).

Helps that we are in London.

So many cheap spa nights on groupon, we do this a couple of times a year on a rare occasion we don't have the kids and my mum has them! We often pick somewhere out of town it's nice to have a mooch around and have dinner out then make the most of the pampering the following day x

Can you chat during the week about whether you want to do anything at the weekend and either make a plan or plan to do nothing.

Not now as we have DC but in the pre dc days we would....

Go to national trust places, just have a wander and a cake

Long bike rides we loved planning new routes especially ones that include a pub lunch 🤣

Go swimming / to the gym

Have a browse round bookshops, buy a book then sit in a coffee shop and read it.

Visit local or not so local museums / cathedrals/ castles

Take time to cook something on a weekend, try new recipes.

Visit in-laws for the weekend, stay in a premier Inn.

What sort of things are you into?

I realised ages ago that DH and I recharge our batteries in totally different ways at the weekend. He needs a huge amount of sleep and wants to watch a lot of sport; I like to do things. I've solved this by arranging to meet friends on one day most weekend, often a Saturday, and then DH and I will go out for dinner or something that evening. Some of the friends are single, others have partners who work weekends & others have partners who are doing hobbies or collapsed on the sofa