I have been accused of gaslighting..

[imakingsmummy]

My brother came for a bbq along with my family today. My 3 year old ds kept asking bin to play but he kept refusing, just saying no. Ds asked if he's make a sandcastle with him but my brother still said no. I don't know why.
I asked why my brother wouldn't play with his nephew and he said I was gaslighting him. When I asked what he meant he said I was guilt tripping him.

Do they mean the same things? I only asked why he didn't want to interact with ds.

No, gaslighting and guilt tripping are different things.

They mean different things but he isn't obliged to play with your kid and you should have intervened once it became apparent he didn't want to and your kid kept asking.

No, your brother does not know what that term means. Gaslighting is when you accuse somebody of something and they try to convince you that you are actually the one at fault, like your brother did when you asked him an honest question.

I did tell ds that his uncle didn't want to play. But I Waldo did wonder why uncle didn't want to interact with ds. His only nephew.

Because he doesn't want to and he isn't obligated to. Going by your username, I'm guessing you are rather precious about your DS, that's great, but be aware no one else has to feel the same way.

Because he doesn't want to and doesn't have to. It's that simple

Gaslighting is something different but just to be clear you last post suggests you were horribly guilt tripping him. You understand how unpleasant that statement is right?

You don't get to attempt to use guilt and shame to manipulate someone into doing something you want them to do. No it wasn't gaslighting but it was certainly you being unpleasant.

How old are you and your DB? Has he got any experience with little children?

He's probably heard gaslighting used in conjunction with guilt tripping and has misunderstood its meaning a bit.

Your son may be your king but he's not everybody else's. It's fine for him to not want to play. I thought this thread was about me because I've been to family thing like this and said no to playing today simply because if I sat down on floor to do a dolls tea party I'd not get back up, my sister would never ask me why I've said no or grill or guilt trip me though.

Our brother will play with his nephew and nieces when he wants to, sometimes the adults want adult interactions and talk with the adults instead of playing with kids, I'd have diverted my child to play with their cousins or other children if there was any there, or sent them to play with adults who did want to play with kids.

Yeah I agree I probably did guilt trip him and looking back I shouldn't have asked why he didn't want to play. I know not everyone wants to play with children, I just found it odd I suppose.

He's in his 50s. No experience of children so probably just not comfortable with it.
I certainly won't question it again