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Original poster

Just realised I am lonely

22 replies

SarahTonnin · 03/07/2022 22:24

Sat in my car at the seafront feeling wretched as can be after a pointless row with the husband and realised I have not one single person in the world I can talk to about it. This is all a bit self-indulgent really but if anyone could spare a kind word or a hand hold I would really appreciate it.

OP posts:
courtrai · 03/07/2022 22:25

I've been there. It sucks and I'm sorry you're alone. Hopefully you can work things out with him

FootontheHeartbreak · 03/07/2022 22:25

I will .
That sounds miserable. Want to talk about it?

misssunshine4040 · 03/07/2022 22:27

Nothing self indulgent about it. We are here to listen Smile

Original poster
SarahTonnin · 03/07/2022 22:32

It was a nothing row really but I'm depressed so now I feel unloved and have flounced off. Just sometimes wonder what the point of me is tbh. Got myself into a mindset that they'll all be happier without me. I rationally know that's not true but can't focus on it. Depression talking, isn't it 😔

OP posts:
MrsTeaShore · 03/07/2022 22:45

Not self indulgent at all. Hope you have made it back home ok? Are there people you have have lost touch with, or friends you don’t see as often as you’d like to, or any other connection that you could try and pick up again? Or is there a class/hobby/ meet up group that you could join so that 1) you’re meeting new people , 2) you’re doing something for yourself , and 3) you get to escape the house without flouncing 😄
Feel free to vent/rant some more if you need to .

bloodywhitecat · 03/07/2022 22:48

Depression or unhappiness with your situation? Life sounds tough, we all need someone to offload on sometimes [flowersl]

BeenThereBoughtTheTeeShirt · 03/07/2022 22:51

As username suggests, can empathise. It sucks, especially if you feel alone while in a relationship and/or the best friend you would normally talk it out with is the one you have just had a row with ie your so-called partner.
You may be depressed or you may feel unloved because you do not feel heard or cherished or whole. The people that love you, however, will not be better off without you. This too shall pass. Hugs x

Shallysally · 03/07/2022 22:52

It’s not self indulgent at all. We are here to listen and hand hold.
Are you receiving any support for your depression?
If you need someone to actually talk to, the Samaritans are very good at supporting.

I hope you are back at home now. And I hope that your husband is supporting you.

StopStartStop · 03/07/2022 22:52

You're never as lonely on your own as you are with the wrong partner.

Original poster
SarahTonnin · 03/07/2022 22:57

I am having support with the depression but I think I might need to try some meds tbh.
I am not as close with friends as I think I should be. I think I could work on this.
A hobby out of the house would be a good idea and something to think about.
I'm debating going home. Im safe. Just miserable.
Thanks everyone x

OP posts:
Workinghardeveryday · 03/07/2022 23:02

I hear you @SarahTonnin . Hand to hold here.

bee where you are now and not long ago at all.

was sure everyone would be better off without me, suppose I talked myself into it. Something happened to change all that in one phone call but that’s another story.

I do know I got to that point because I was incredibly lonely. Permanently wfh. Life was work, school run, housework, laundry, cooking - repeat.

no friends, only adults to talk to were dp and my mum.

because off the phone call I ended up getting in touch with 2 old friends. I was honest and explained how low I was. They understood and have been amazing. I have had girls nights in, afternoons at mine, shopping trips etc. it changed everything. Just to feel I mattered meant everything.

You matter, you know you do. Reconnect with old friends. Just be honest. They will be there for you.

nothing lost nothing gained…

x

Original poster
SarahTonnin · 03/07/2022 23:46

@Workinghardeveryday rings very true
Just not quite brave enough to tell anyone irl yet. I'm always the one who copes, everything all under control. Only it isn't and an hour ago I was debating driving into the sea.

OP posts:
Thistlelass · 03/07/2022 23:52

I'm sorry you are going through this but am pleased you are considering treatment. As someone who has had depression on and off for most of my life I have to say medication can be very necessary part of recovery.

LadyLolaRuben · 03/07/2022 23:55

I've spent many a time at the sea alone OP. I've looked around whilst sat in my car wondering how many others have escaped from a problem and are sat there trying to think things through. You're not alone.

Reconnect with friends. I too am the one who usually copes and helps everyone else. When I did tell a few friends I was struggling they rallied around. Tbh I think they saw me more human as usually I'm the one who has what appears to be a perfect life according to them!

Original poster
SarahTonnin · 03/07/2022 23:56

I've been working with a clinical specialist psychologist which has been going well, and I was getting better but I think the illness is fighting back. I had hoped to stay off the meds but I think I probably need them now.

OP posts:
Original poster
SarahTonnin · 03/07/2022 23:57

Thank you for the words of support x

OP posts:
CPL593H · 04/07/2022 00:03

Just coming on to say that you don't need to wonder about the point of you. You have just as much right to occupy your space on this planet as the other 7 billion specimens of homo sapiens sapiens (and possibly more than some, I'm looking at you Putin Grin)

Hang on in there and think about what you need to be happy Flowers

Workinghardeveryday · 04/07/2022 06:19

@SarahTonnin how are you this morning? x

dontgobaconmyheart · 04/07/2022 09:14

Medication can be such a valuable support, opting to go onto it can be a positive and empowering decision rather than a 'giving in' scenario. Being in control of your life and depression in real terms very often means managing the illness appropriately for the best possible chance at improvement for tour own benefit. I am currently off anti depressants but require other meds for physical illness and regard it as no different.

I feel you OP, it is such a weight of an illness and arguments or things going wrong are so often a catalyst for those feelings to erupt to the surface. How things feel when depression raises it's head is most often not a reflection of reality. An argument doesn't mean you aren't loved or can't win or can't do anything right or others are therefore better off without you; they most definitely aren't and would be appalled at the thought.

We cannot be expected to hold a weight that big by ourselves and there is no need to try.

Original poster
SarahTonnin · 04/07/2022 12:22

@Workinghardeveryday I'm a bit better this morning thanks. Been hectic which I suppose helps.
Can't thank you all enough for being with me yesterday. All the kind words have helped and I am going to take some positive steps to improve things for myself. Number 1 is to try the meds. Hopefully that will give me enough head space to work on some of the other aspects.

OP posts:
Original poster
SarahTonnin · 04/07/2022 12:23

@dontgobaconmyheart thank you - I needed to hear that

OP posts:
Workinghardeveryday · 04/07/2022 12:57

@SarahTonnin pleased you are feeling more positive about things.

remember we are always here for a chat if you’re feeling low

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