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Lonely

3 replies

Shhh123 · 03/07/2022 21:28

Hi everyone.
im sure this is a topic that many are familiar with. Loneliness.
sorry if it sounds very woe is me.
Im a mum of two, one with additional needs and I have medical issues myself.
It sounds pathetic to say but…..I have no friends. Not proper ones anyway. Nobody who checks in regularly or makes plans with me. It’s the kind of friends I have to message first or pester. Everyone’s always busy and nobody ever makes exceptions. Always excuses. It seems I’m only wanted if I’m of use to people. Which I have learnt over the years to say no if things are too much for me. I’ve joined groups, booked activities and classes with my children but I just can’t keep to make and keep solid adult friendships. There must be something wrong with me! I’ve made a few short term friends throughout the school runs but none who actually care enough about me to stick around.
My so called friends all have other groups of friends who they go out with and and do fun things and to be honest, I’m actually sick of seeing them posting pictures and I’m just at home night after night. I’m continually trying to organise girls nights and it feels as though im almost begging for some adult company other than my partner. I noticed that it started when my son was diagnosed ASD. The invitations got less and less and it got me thinking that maybe I’ve changed as a person? Maybe I’m not likeable? Maybe because I put my sons needs first they don’t think to invite me places? I physically couldn’t try any harder to have people in my life. I am a protective and very loyal friend.
My family are amazing and my partner is my best friend don’t get me wrong but I want to go shopping/girls nights/talk over wine! Have a conversation with people! But most nights I go to bed after scrolling online (which makes it 10xworse!!) miserable and feeling lonely. Does anyone else ever feel this way?

OP posts:
LindaEllen · 27/11/2022 11:47

Sorry if this has already been asked, but where do you live? I've met up with quite a few people from here in the past when they've said they need a friend and they happen to live in my area. A couple have become close friends. Worth a try :). Also I'm your age too!

DragonWasp · 27/11/2022 11:51

Stop internalising it. It's likely not you it's them. You will find your people as long as you cut the people out that aren't worth your time and keep trying. It's hard but worth it. you are valuable and you are worth being around people who see that.

Mary46 · 27/11/2022 11:56

Op its hard. Same phone rang what could I do for others.. I joined a few hobbies it does help. We do odd coffee or walk. Have you any local meetup groups? Im friendly with few school mams they keen to meet so thats positive. You get tired chasing people

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