Hi everyone.
im sure this is a topic that many are familiar with. Loneliness.
sorry if it sounds very woe is me.
Im a mum of two, one with additional needs and I have medical issues myself.
It sounds pathetic to say but…..I have no friends. Not proper ones anyway. Nobody who checks in regularly or makes plans with me. It’s the kind of friends I have to message first or pester. Everyone’s always busy and nobody ever makes exceptions. Always excuses. It seems I’m only wanted if I’m of use to people. Which I have learnt over the years to say no if things are too much for me. I’ve joined groups, booked activities and classes with my children but I just can’t keep to make and keep solid adult friendships. There must be something wrong with me! I’ve made a few short term friends throughout the school runs but none who actually care enough about me to stick around.
My so called friends all have other groups of friends who they go out with and and do fun things and to be honest, I’m actually sick of seeing them posting pictures and I’m just at home night after night. I’m continually trying to organise girls nights and it feels as though im almost begging for some adult company other than my partner. I noticed that it started when my son was diagnosed ASD. The invitations got less and less and it got me thinking that maybe I’ve changed as a person? Maybe I’m not likeable? Maybe because I put my sons needs first they don’t think to invite me places? I physically couldn’t try any harder to have people in my life. I am a protective and very loyal friend.
My family are amazing and my partner is my best friend don’t get me wrong but I want to go shopping/girls nights/talk over wine! Have a conversation with people! But most nights I go to bed after scrolling online (which makes it 10xworse!!) miserable and feeling lonely. Does anyone else ever feel this way?