Teenage parents growing up

[MaxOverTheMoon]

NC for this and as I'm afraid of being judged.

Has anyone else had their dc young and then when they hit their 30s and the dc have grown up started re-living their 20s that they didn't get to do? I'm having so much fun! I've been going to raves, festivals, sunday fundays at my local, I'm loving the freedom having a 16yr old gives me! My 16yr old has a lovely life, I have a lovely life and we do have fun together.

I spent my twenties ironing school uniforms, working, university, volunteering at beavers, taking dc to different competitions for her sport and the training days 3 days a week, baking, cleaning, school runs. All of that mundane stuff. Now my 16yr old has left school, got an amazing college place, predicted top GCSE results and has a part time job.

I watched my friends do their mad shit and partying whilst I was a LP now I'm the one free whilst they have young dc and I am loving it!

I am a bit concerned that the parental relationship has changed as the age gap of 16 to 34 feels smaller now dc is older. It's been mentioned a few times that I'm acting like the teenager and an older annoying sister rather than a mum.

Currently also saving money for a van and a sabbatical from work once dd goes to uni. I've never been travelling!

This is ok right? To act like a twenty yr old 😂 even things like going for a bike ride by myself, I've only just started going for bike rides and walks by myself as I've always had dd with me, now she's doing her own thing. I'm loving growing up!

Just me then! Currently recovering from dancing all day and night yesterday (well, I was home by midnight ish).

I feel like I've got so much living to do!

Not just you although I am yet to join you! I had my DD when I was 17, she's 21 this year so by rights I should be starting to enjoy life except my younger DD (12) is in full on treatment for an eating disorder so it's not much fun currently.

My best friend had hers young and they've now left home and she is literally living her best life, I'm green with envy!

Go out and enjoy yourself 😁

Oh no @WomanAnon I hope she responds well to treatment.

You are lucky, or I am unlucky. My adult children are a constant worry and I am not finding the joy in them being grown up. They are struggling, and I don’t feel free at all.

Enjoy, it sounds bloody lovely!

Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! You've earned this time. I hope you have lots of fun

You are just like my mum was! She was just 16 when I was born. Dad didn't hang around long so so raised me a single parent (working 3 jobs to make ends meet .. she definitely taught me work ethics!)
In my late teens it was sometimes a bit cringe if we ended up at the same club, but we have a very close relationship. Now I'm in my 40's we go on holiday together, we go out for lunch Etc. Because we get on well as friends and as mother and daughter.
Enjoy yourself! You've earnt it!! 😁

@Afonavon oh I do worry about her but my worries are that she's too sensible and I worry that I've made her like that because of the chaos of having me as a mum. She's always remembered things like our housekeys when leaving the house as we've had to wait outside for an emergency locksmith too many times! Not a stealth brag in the slightest btw. I took her to a concert not long ago and had to force her arms up to dance and loosen up a bit.

Then I think we all have worries about our dcs and wish we did things differently.

I get it! I wasn't as young, 20's, but now I'm loving freedom

I had DD when I was 18. I then had DS1 when she was 18 and DS2 2 years later. I am now 53 and still waiting for 'my time'. 4 more years till DS2 is packed off to Uni. 🤣

@letsplanaholiday you definitely don't think that's a bad thing? I told someone once I couldn't wait to go out out with my daughter at 18 and they were really judgy and sneery about it! Love that you have such a nice relationship with her.

@Mumski45 it's coming! I do sometimes think about another one if a friends dc is being particularly cute, but I always change my mind again.

Yes! @motogirl it's amazing! I was reading the thread about the dd returning from uni to live in AIBU and thought - OMG am I an awful witch to be looking forward to proper freedom?!

Can’t wait for this time in my life ;)

Me too, looking forward to this - but when you have more than one child the timer just restarts again 😭

Sounds brilliant!

Enjoy it and enjoy getting to know the lovely grown up daughter you raised.

I suspect there are a lot of 16 year olds who would love to have you as a mum.

@MaxOverTheMoon

My dds get quite jealous because we are out every weekend watching live music, short breaks etc. I'm fortunate that money isn't an issue

Not a bad thing at all if you're out with your friends.
So long as you're not going out with her and her friends, or chatting up boys closer to her age, not an issue! Say hi if you see them in a bar but don't go join them. They will likely feel its polite to ask you but they are just being polite!

Absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying yourself now at all. I have a large group of friends, I'm also married to a brilliant husband, but I choose to socialise with my mum now I'm older because we enjyeach others company. We went to see Guns and Roses together last Friday night! Was brilliant! 😆

I had my eldest at 32. Most people I know had their first a couple of years later so in their early thirties we're having the fun you are having.

enjoy. Sounds like you've done a great job.

I still had fun in my twenties @Intothewoodland but loads more fun now I don't have small dc to look after. My house is always clean and tidy, GCSEs are out of the way, dd can cook for herself if I don't feel like it, and I'm still so young. I'm not advocating having babies at 17, just happy that it's worked out well for me when so many people looked down on me.

@letsplanaholiday no I'd never be That cringy 😆