How to improve my life?

[camdenl]

Feeling pretty shitty. It’s my 26th birthday and I’m so unhappy about life

I’m single, no one is interested in me haha. I split with my ex around a year ago and we used to live together and tbh, I’m not over him

I now live alone renting an expensive city centre apartment in an expensive city. I feel like I get judged for living alone as everyone is in a relationship or living with their parents. I don’t have the option to live with my parents. Definitely can’t afford to buy a house as I can’t save much. My rent is more than some of my colleague’s mortgages!

Likewise I can’t afford a car and feel “behind” my peers. I don’t need a car though as I work from home & am walking distance to everything I need.

I earn £28k a year but it’s not enough for a decent quality of life when I live alone. I hate work too. What can I do so I don’t feel like this next year?

If you can afford it, therapy might give you a space to work out why you feel unhappy.

28k with your own place at 26 doesn't look objectively like things aren't going well, bit it clearly doesn't feel that way to you.

What do you enjoy doing, what gives your life value? Is your job o e you want to make a career of? What are you passionate about?

Life isn't a competition, and there is no value in comparing your life and theirs.

Rent a cheaper flat and you'll have more cash to save and/ or spend.

I bet she hadn't thought of that 🤦‍♀️

Could you move to a less expensive area? outside of the city but still a nice area if you work from home.

Look for better paid jobs and work your way up with experience.

Being single isn't too bad, you can make your own decisions without having to think of anyone else.

Have a night out and have fun with friends, you may meet someone.

Second this! Pay someone to listen to your thoughts and help you figure out what you want. Also, happy birthday!

You are only 26, you are doing well. Some people of your age who live at home with their parents feel bad about it, they are not judging you, that's for sure. They probably envy you.
Only you can say if living in the city centre is worth the expensive rent, I guess it depends on whether you make use of being in the centre, or if you'd be just as happy in a cheaper suburb. It sounds as if you have actually made sensible choices such as living within walking distance of the places you want to go to and obviating the need for a car.
Are you feeling lonely? I wonder if wfh is working for you, if you might be happier going into the workplace and have daily interactions with people and making friends.
I do think you are being very hard on yourself, only one of the young people I know of your age is living in a bought flat with a partner, and a car. I know 2 who live with parents but have a car, one who lives in a rented flat alone with no car, one in a rented flat with a partner but no car, and a few who live with parents but no car either. At your age I think the issue is about finding a career that you enjoy, and getting out there and experiencing life. The pandemic has made people very insular, it can be hard to get out there and find your tribe.
If you don't like your job, look around see what else is available. Do you need to get more qualifications to find something more interesting? Start thinking about what aspects of your current job you like or dislike, and whether its the industry you are in, the role, or the specific job that is causing you problems.

Is mumsnet the best place? Why not try other sites for young single people wanting to make friends/ try new hobbies?

Thank you all

No luck finding anywhere cheaper yet, rental prices have increased in my area. I’m scared to move out of the city centre and live alone in case of crime etc as I’m not originally from this city

oh god, I hate work but it’s okay. There’s is some degree of career development but it’s not the industry I want to work in. I am qualified to work as a mental health practitioner but it would be a paycut

Well I’m not trying to make friends, I have enough. I just want life advice on moving forward particularly from those outside my age group which this site is good for. Social media exists for finding pals for hobbies etc but I’m not really looking for that.

Can you get a room mate to share the rent with you?
R.e. being single and judgement from others - stick 2 fingers up at the world! Honestly I was in miserable relationships for years that only help me back. Then I'd had enough. Was single for about 8 years and loved every minute of it! I went to uni, started hobbies I always wanted to do but was told was impossible, travelled, lived abroad, travelled some more, did a masters, changed my career. I dated casually, making it clear I wasnt after one night stands but would never be serious. Generally tried to stay single (a gal has needs though!) - And I got to do all that BECAUSE I was single, not inspite of it. Genuinely the best 8 years of my life!
Career wise, I went from earning almost £40k at 28 to student loans and whatever else I could scrap together. 5 years later after I finished my masters I was on £19k. I worked hard and applied myself and a few years later I'm back to almost £40k, with a better career that will only bring higher earning potential. I'm also much more savvy about how I spend my money so it goes a lot further. And after getting here I've realised that what I actually want more of is time - to do the things I love and see the people I love more often. So the next step is to work less. Typical!
Sometimes in life you just have to take a step back to move forward. Dont live how others think/ tell you to live - live to what makes you happy. If others judge, let them! They only judge because they have nothing better going on. Sucks for them, but it's not your problem.

I'm not sure I understand the being judged for living alone rather than with your parents.

My son is 23 and he lives alone in a city centre flat and no one has judged him for it. Is it possible that you ae still reeling from the breakdown of your marriage and so are feeling a little more sensitive to perceived judgements by others rather than receiving actual judgements?

Oh and happy birthday! 🎂

I was single in my 20s after a difficult break up. What I would do if I were you:

• move from a flat by yourself into a house share with other singles who you can go out and have fun with
• start a new hobby / sport
• focus on your career. Are you doing a job with opportunities that you enjoy? If not - this is a great time to retrain (I did a night course as I couldn't afford to work less than full time).
• could you get an additional bar job / temporary event work? Lots of my friends did this is London when we were younger for extra cash. It was great fun too.
• do you have to stay in the city you're in? Could you apply for jobs abroad for an adventure?

Sometimes you have to actively change things to find happiness.

Sorry - just read your update. You are only 26 - some people at that age haven't started their careers yet at they are still fanning about doing gap years.
Life is too short to get stuck doing a job you don't want to do so move into a house share and retrain. If you don't like it, you can always change it.