Going back after Mat Leave and terrified

[ChrissyWakeUp11]

I am a nurse. I qualified in 2020, right at the start of the pandemic and began a job in an area with not much focus on clinical skills. Think School Nursing, but it’s not school nursing. I then fell pregnant after working for 6 months and due to the pandemic, I was immediately furloughed until my Mat Leave started. By the time I go back, I will have been off 20 months.

This has taken a huge, huge toll on my mental health and I have felt like such a failure. Seeing all my cohort now skilled nurses while I feel like know nothing.

Because of the cost of living crisis I’ll be doing bank shifts alongside my regular job when I return. These will be in the hospital and I am so scared. I’ve been offered one supernumerary shift but after that I’ll be expected to work independently.

I feel like my clinical skills are absolutely minimal. But I know I’m not going to learn anything without being in an environment where I’ll be exposed to that learning. I’m not intending to look for shifts in highly clincal areas such as ICU or anything like that but I still feel so unprepared and like I’ve forgotten everything I learned on placements and during my degree.

Please be kind, I feel so anxious about this. Some words of encouragement would be great. Unless this is an obvious disaster in the making and you think I should not look for bank shifts!

Hiya I see some similarities in our starts to nursing, so thought I'd say hello. I had my first in year 3 of nurse training, so took 9 months maternity leave and returned to complete my final three month placement and then qualified. Then worked a year (part time as I had a young baby). Then had a second baby and another year off. Changed jobs after that year as I hated my job on the wards, probably because I had no confidence due to the big break in my training and the part time and then another year off. Got my new job but now it's march 2020 so I'm redeployed somewhere else new after only being in the new job less than a month. Very few supernumerary shifts before I'm on my own, made a few mistakes luckily nothing serious. Back to my original new job and then got pregnant 10 months later. Had to go to WFH from 28 weeks because of covid and currently half way through matleave.

I'm not really looking forward to going back but I do think now I will be able to focus on my original still new to me job and hope a year or so after going back I might have got confident with it. Do you need to do the extra shifts straight away? What about kit days while on maternity leave instead to allow you to make some extra now to push back the time till you need to do the bank shifts so you get comfortable with your normal job first?

Thank you so much for your reply. I’m sorry it’s been such a chaotic start for you too! And you must have your hands full at home too!

Money is pretty tight at the moment so I was hoping to pick bank shifts asap. My permanent job have been supportive and said they will look to start afresh with me so will go through the staff induction process again. But as that’s not too clinical I’m not so worried.

it’s the bank shifts I’m really panicking over. I can barely remember how to draw up IVs and work pumps.

Hello, I think you are right to be worried but I mean in fairness it's not your fault, it's just the way things have worked out.

My recommendation would be to go back to your substantive post initially and give yourself time to settle in before taking bank shifts. If you absolutely have to take bank shifts you will need to be careful what areas you go to, nothing acute, I would be looking for rehab/elderly care type wards because you will need to get all your basics up to scratch like obs and medication rounds before you start looking after anyone potentially sick.

If you can slowly build your confidence then perhaps can start looking at other areas but please be upfront with the nurse in charge that you have basically finished uni but have consolidated any of your knowledge. No one can be annoyed if you are upfront about your capabilities and just show a willingness to learn.

Good luck.

Good that your permanent job seem supportive and realistic that you will need to start over again with the training and they are happy to do that for you.

Regards the bank shifts have you considered a private care home instead of the hospital. Bupa pay pretty well and there's no IVs and really invasive stuff. Or what about bank in the community. If you work the twilight shift the pay is better and you will be doubled up always if it's the same as where I am. If you do do the hospital bank I would try to stick to the same ward if you can, and Im sure you would need to be signed off as competent on any specific things that ward has e.g. tube feeding, IVs etc before you would be allowed to do it on your own and would need to be watched and signed off for meds rounds.

Really helpful replies thank you! Yes I agree about sticking to the same ward to build up that familiarity. Hopefully something fairly basic.

When I applied for the bank I made it clear on my application that I’d been off for a long time and only 6 months in my initial post. I also clarified this with them at the face to face interview so I’ve been completely upfront about it and they were still happy to offer me the post.

I’m really keen to do as much training and learning as possible and have been assured I’ll be offered this.

I think what I might do is see how the first shift goes. I’ve been told this will be supernumerary so if it’s awful I can have a rethink about whether this is going to work. I’m hoping at least some of my clinical knowledge will come back to me once I’m there.

I really want this to go well, not just because we could do with the extra money but because I want to be clinically skilled.

I think you've got the right attitude towards it,so hope it goes well for you and the confidence comes soon! One thing I did find when doing bank shifts was that the nurse bank just seems to be a little office somewhere in the hospital where you go to to drop off timesheets etc. They aren't that involved with your day to day shifts, so it would be the ward manager to make aware of what you feel you are and arnt capable of when you turn up for a shift. Also you can book a shift on a certain ward but on the day you can be moved part way through a shift sometimes more than once if the bed manager deems they need to move you to balance staffing across the hospital. This was my experience anyway a few years ago it could be different now. I think if you keep in your mind your plan that you will go in do the supernumerary shift and see how it goes, that should reduce your worrying about it. Don't spend the last bit of mat leave worrying about this. If you do it and your not sure, I would say that too them and ask that you have more supernumerary shifts. If they say no there are other options like the ones I've mentioned above (community bank, care homes etc) to make extra money as a nurse.

When do you go back to work?

Thank you @Violet1988.

I go back in 4 weeks and I’m so looking forward to getting back to my job. It’s been great to be at home with my baby but I am so ready to give some time to my career now.

I do have a nominated line manager in the bank and she has asked me to contact her when the induction process is finished so she can book the supernumerary shift in for me. I think when I get in touch with her I’ll discuss all this and see what the option would be to do just a few more supernumerary shifts if I feel like I need that.

Just be firm, reiterate that your newly qualified and will need enough supernumerary shifts for you to feel competent. Good luck with it and let us know how it goes. I've got another 5 months off yet. Are you doing any kit days with your substantive post? X