Should I leave?

[Queenofthehills]

A job one. NC as I’ve told many people irl.

I haven’t been working at my new job for long but I have years of experience from a previous job and got settled in within a couple of weeks although everything is different from my old company I’m gradually picking up ‘their ways’. However my manager seems to have taken a strong dislike towards me and makes digs at every opportunity. I’ll be told something I’m doing is wrong despite that being how they taught me to do it for their company, blamed if something goes wrong, I’ve overheard a bitchy comment made about me and she’s generally very unpleasant and causes an atmosphere around me yet laughs and jokes with others. She doesn’t treat anyone else like this, however my colleagues have noticed and have been very supportive. This week she has been causing issues with my jobs which makes me look incompetent, I feel like she is trying to push me out and make it unbearable for me. I applied for a different job but was offered this one with a bonus due to my experience and her first words to me was ‘oh they employed you, why?’ so perhaps jealousy or wanted someone else to have my job? She told other managers in the company I have called her names recently which isn’t true, and she’s told me I should apply for so and so’s job, which is a much lower level and half the hours and wages. I’m tempted to walk away as I’m in my probation period still anyway, but this was my dream job and I’m earning enough money now that I could cancel my universal credits and give my children a better future. A colleague had encouraged me to report her but I had a similar issue about 10 years back in a sales job and they got away with it plus I was bullied after so I don’t want to go down that route and make my life harder, I know she won’t give up without a fight and she has been there for 40 years so has a good network behind her. We are alone together for 2 hours every day so I dread work every morning and wish she’d just leave me alone and concentrate on her own jobs! (Which despite her vast experience she’s awful at her job!) Any advice please?

I'm in a similar position, I'm looking elsewhere but in the same sector. Can you request to not be paired with her?

Sorry to hear that, unfortunately not as I’d be transferred an hour away and I won’t be able to afford the fuel costs. This place is on my doorstep, everything is perfect with the job apart from her and it’s making me feel so crap. I know she won’t leave so I either have to accept the nasty comments, report her and risk it getting worse or leave completely. I don’t know how I’ll make it through the day tomorrow knowing she’s right next me to for 8 hours with lots of spiteful comments prepared.

I have experienced this myself. It's awful. Luckily she was moved to another dept by chance. I always think with bullies you must stand up to them. Looking back I wished I had taken her to one side and called her out on her behaviour and told her I would not tolerate it and would report her if she did not leave me alone. That's what I should have done. Once you stand up to her I bet she will stop !

Can you ask for a meeting with her and be honest that you feel she may have an issue with you due to the comments she makes, the rumours that you called her names etc. Have facts written down as bullet points.
Come at it from the angle of ‘I want to make sure we’re on the same page and maintaining a positive relationship.’ Make notes and follow up with an email:

Dear bitchface manager,

thank you for meeting with me regarding blah blah, it was helpful to discuss the issues we’ve been experiencing.

we discussed this; and you said that, we decided this: blah blah. Do this for each point addressed.

it’s good to know I have your support as my manager, maintaining a positive relationship with you will enable me to come to you for help and support with confidence, blah blah bullshit bullshit.

kind regards
not taking any of your shit love

Dont be pushed out. You said it yourself its your dream job, and location is great. Why should this bully get away with spoiling this for you. Call her out in a joking manner maybe? Keep pushing back loudly. Dont let her walk all over you. Just because someone has been ther 40 years doesnt give them the right to treat anyone like this. Speak to the colleagues who have your back, hopefully it will help get you through the tough days if nothing else

Is this about me? Call u names? Handsome? Honey bunny? Spiteful?; Just asking questions about what I see and feel. So confused. Why say all that to other people who can't change what you feel is going on? Why not talk to the 8 hr person 🥺💔? She's prob sad, hurt, reads things that she doesn't know if true or not. Is she loved? Or not.

I'll leave you alone. Why tell and ask these people? They can't change things all I ever read about me on here are bad things. Wish I could read just one good thing if u could think of one😏

Record everything, times, dates, witnesses etc. if you feel confident to you could ask for a meeting to discuss a better working relationship (no accusations/blaming more a how can this be more post) make notes during meeting and email after to confirm what was discussed. If things don't improve I'd go to hr with the list of issues and what you have done to try to improve the situation. But no you shouldn't have to leave.Good luck

@4NonBlondes2022 Are you feeling okay?

Thank you everyone I will call her out on any comments today and go from there, I’d like to maintain a positive relationship if possible but some of the things she’s said about me are so awful I don’t think I can be professionally civil for long. Also no idea what non blondes is on about I’m pretty sure you’re not my manager