Child not napping at nursery but napping at home?

[Bostontrain]

My DD is nearly two and attends nursery part-time 2.5 days pw. (On the half day I pick her up at 2 after her lunchtime nap). So for 3 naps a week she's at nursery, and then the other 4 days she's at home.

At home she naps for 1.5-2hrs consistently, and always has 11.5hrs st night. The nursery have begun to let me know she's not napping. They say they can't get her to go down.

The problem is that it results in her being really tired and her behaviour being all over the place, very erratic, teary, and obviously knackered when I pick her up in the afternoons. We've tried putting her down to bed earlier on nursery days to compensate for the loss of the nap, but she'll still stick to her 11.5 hrs of sleep and will just wake up earlier the next day, then be even more exhausted and ready for her nap, which doesn't happen again, so it spirals. By the time she finishes her 3rd day at nursery she's absolutely exhausted. For the next 4 days she'll have her usual lunchtime naps and sleep routine and get back on an even keel, being much happier and rested. Then it all starts again the next week at nursery.

Has anyone else experienced this? The nursery staff seem very blasé about it, and just say she wouldn't sleep. I feel it's to do with the room there, no curtains, lots of daylight and noise. I feel like they are building up to tell me they are not going to bother trying anymore and she's probably ready to drop her naps. But I really don't agree that she is, as I know how well and easily she naps at home.

Are you sure that’s the nursery environment? In every nursery I know, they create a very conducive sleeping environment - they want them to sleep! All lights off, quiet time, noisy children taken from the room, a sleep routine etc.

They don't have a dark/quiet space for them to sleep?
So where do they sleep?

There's only so many times they can try and get down. I would ask for somewhere quieter but if not, haven't heard of it before, just have to let her catch up when she's off

I wonder if it is because she only does 2.5 days a week. There is so much going on that she would rather play. Whereas if she was going more often, she would be more used to the sleep routine at nursery and join in?

Around 2-2.5, both of my older kids stopped napping every day and would only nap 3-4 days a week. It’s a loooong adjustment phase with happy days and cranky days (not always aligned with nap Vs no nap!). I accepted it because it got to the point where if they had too many naps in the course of the week, they wouldn’t settle for bed until after 9pm! 😱

If the nursery is being blasé about it, it could be because it’s a fairly normal stage that they see. It doesn’t mean your DC is ready to drop naps altogether, but it could mean she’s ready to nap fewer days per week.

What, I thought this was normal? So other nurseries make it dark then?

I have been there a few times during nap times and seen the children napping. They lie on the floor on mats and the staff go round patting and ssshing them. They play some sort of white noise, however they often have the sliding doors open if it's warm , and they open onto the outside playground where the older children are playing. Also there are no curtains or anything to block the light.

My DD has slept ok at times, but never her usuals 1.5-2hrs and always woke up after 45 mins (1 cycle I guess). Now she's struggling to sleep at all!

But if that were the case then wouldn't she be dropping the occasional nap at home? No she doesn't, it's always at nursery. Also we took her on holiday for 2 weeks in May and she napped perfectly every day. It's literally only at nursery she won't nap.

DD would never nap at nursery when she was a baby because there was always something going on. DS loved his cot and would always nap.
Once they moved to the next room, it was more a routine than the baby room. Since everyone else napped and it was dark and quiet, DD soon realised there was nothing better to do and off she napped.

What, I thought this was normal? So other nurseries make it dark then?

My sons has a quiet room with sofas in, blinds shut, lights off and they go off for a nap in there.

Oh that sounds so much better.

We have the reverse. DS goes down like a dream at nursery and stays asleep for ages. He absolutely refuses to nap at home. It makes it quite stressful in the afternoons and he's a bit of a mess but I'm just trying to ride it out for now.

Nightmare! I doubt she is ready to drop the nap. My boy (22mo) always does 2hrs at home and about 1.5hrs at nursery.
Do all the children in the class sleep or are some playing? How long has she been going for?
Sounds like the environment might not be very good for a nap. Is there anything she can take from home like a comforter or white noise to help?
I dont think I could carry on if my boy didn't nap at nursery, he would be a wreck 🙈

@Geranium1984 thanks, yes that's how I feel! I think I'm going to speak with them to see if we can do anything. I'm not sure about the other children, though they did vaguely mention some others weren't sleeping I think, but I don't know if DD is the exception.

My sons nursery was like this, mattresses on the floor

However, ever from when he was 1 he basically only did 30 mins lunch nap at j nursery even when I'm the younger room which had cots & white noise, he was just too nosey! When at home still 2hours at that point. He stopped napping lunch at before 2 though that was during lockdown 1 so he wasn't at nursery. Worst timing ever to drop napping 🙈

I’m not surprised she isn’t sleeping, I wouldn’t be able to either!