And not a shell due to anxiety and panic attacks. Have been suffering on and off for 9 years now...I cannot travel in a train which goes through a tunnel feel claustrophobic, couldn't go out after lockdown due to covid anxiety, couldn't go to the zoo as the queue was through a small tunnel, convinced myself that I have allergies and stopped eating nuts...and cant even think of flying-claustophobia and certain the flight I'm on will crash/terrorist attack.
What I have done so far;
Practice controlled breathing
Write my thoughts down
Spoke to a private GP (NHS pretty bad) and have prescription for Setraline and another anxiety drug.
Started going out slowly
Took daughter to zoo which included staying in the tunnel queue
Started eating nuts
Everyday is a struggle and its exhausting but I'm trying not to succumb
Here is the problem- I miss my family who are in Asia. This included a flight and we can break the flight in between - 6.30 hrs break and another 4.5 hrs.
I really want to go and husband is planning to book tickets...but I know I won't be able to make it..as it seems too huge a step. I still struggle to go in a train that goes through a tunnel...
Part of me want to book the tickets and lose the money for daughters and my tickets if I cannot make it...atleast this will make me push myself to take small steps...
Does this sound sensible? What would you do if you were in my shoes?