Name changed for this, long time poster....Will try to keep it brief...
I'm in a state, I'm 44 my ds is 11. Lone parent since he was 10mths old, domestic violence survivor. He hasn't seen his "father" for 10yrs, never had a penny from him etc. I was physically, emotionally, financially abused. Had about 20k on my name from my ex, which I've sorted over time.
I'm in a 2 bed flat. It's mortgaged since my ds was a baby. Over the years as a lone parent anything broken or needing repair has had to be left, I couldn't afford anything. In fact with childcare in the earlier yrs my mum and dad had to help with food shop quite a bit. I worked hard in my job, doing OK now but took a lot of sacrifice. 11yrs on now without much break, I feel run ragged.
Place is a tip, just stuff everywhere. I've been sleeping on a camp bed in my sons room for yrs. I think I've spent about 4 nights total in my own bedroom since he was born. There is junk everywhere. It's disorganised. So many repairs need to be done because I could never afford it, would never ask anyone for help. My family are kind but I've never wanted to burden anyone. Washing everywhere, floors part done badly by ex years ago before ds was born, new boiler needed, can't do new boiler until flue hatches done, oven doesn't work, loads of lights don't work, broken wall sockets, balcony is a mess, my bedroom lord knows and im terrified of spiders that are in there (i bet theyve loved having my room to hang out in for a decade)...list goes on.
My ds is lovely, he's a great kid. I want our home to be better. I really want to move this year as he moves into secondary but the mountain of stuff to fix and do is paralysing me. Nobody gets invited here ever.
I have a good job, important role, I'm organised at work (busy and stressed but who isnt)...why can't I get my own shit sorted and how can I get this done?