Kids parties - over the top or nice?

[Spottybotty20]

I’ve just been to two lovely parties (noisy, exhausting etc, but kids had a ball!)
I would guess that both cost a fair amount as they had entertainers, hot meals, mascots the full works.

I didn’t attend either of them and think “who do they think there are or why do so much fuss”

Yet when it comes to my own kids I feel the need to play everything down and feel extravagant or showy just for having a party.

My mum doesn’t help matters as she is always suggesting a tea party at home or a family meal instead of my plans - which aren’t abnormal! The village hall has a party package with small softplay and we had some balloons and I cobbled together a buffet myself with platters from Morrisons.

Why does it seem to be a character flaw to want to celebrate my kids?

Well I think the only person who thinks not wanting a big party is a flaw is you.

I don’t think kids’ parties are really about celebrating them - they aren’t 50 year olds. Some parents throw big parties because they think the kids enjoy them , or because they enjoy hosting them,or because they’ve picked up the idea they should, or occasionally just to show off.

But unless you are organising 3 day extravaganzas for your own birthday, while giving your kids artic role and knock down crisps in the garage, I am guessing you just aren’t big into parties.

Howeber you think you are secretly a party animal crushed by your mum’s wartime spirit, then do throw of the shackles and order the junior cocktail bar.

I don't understand the thread title?

Lots of parties are OTT and very nice.

We just have tea parties at home. Your OP reads as though you think people who do this don't celebrate their kids.

We've always had extravagant parties for our kids when they were little - they aren't constantly spoiled in every day life and this is what we are lucky enough to be able to do. Couldn't honestly care less what people think.

A tea party at home is nice though but yes my mum also thinks we are ridiculous and stupid spending money as we do. She thinks that about anything she doesn't deem appropriate though ie not plants for the garden or hideous home ornaments

I must admit, I did larger parties because for me they are easier. No mess at home, no thinking how many children I can invite, no worries that parents want to stay, no issues that it can rain mid-July can derail plans for games in the garden.

DD was invited to all kind of parties and enjoyed them all. She was equally happy with a bouncy castle or games in her friend's garden than with the entertainer at another friend's party.

Also, they do get smaller when the child gets older, we only did one really large party in Reception and one swimmning one which had a quite high max number, flat booking fee and as most children were over 8 and could swim I didn't mind it (and the house was a building site anyway).

I never had the feeling a parent wanted to show up with a lavish party.

@Luredbyapomegranate its definitely the final bit, I love hosting a party, organising it, running around like a nutter on the day. Every year I get the same negatives from mum and grandparents (she’s only 55 so not war time spirit) just hates any attention drawn to us as thinks we aren’t worthy.

@Keepyoursarcasmtoyourself i don’t think there’s anything wrong with a tea party at all, my ideal would be a garden party but both my kids are winter babies so ruled out. I’m also at the nursery age where they haven’t made firm friends yet so it’s invite everyone and parents or no one. My home just can’t accommodate that many.

@thaegumathteth does it wear you down? I’ve constantly got my mums voice in my head when I make any decisions and usually struggle to work out what I actually want without her opinion being factored in.

@reluctantbrit yes mine are nursery/reception age so it’s the whole class and all the parents siblings. A hall is much less hassle than home! I’ll be happy when the kids are bigger and can decide what they’d like for themselves. Swimming sounds fun in the future!

Oh well in that case, plan some big bashes and ignore your mum. The glitzier the better.

Lots of Instagram style parties at the moment. I think a lot of women are riddled with status anxiety. They should calm down a bit. Kids don't care.

My dm can be a bit like this. Like we are wildly profligate for choosing to spend out money doing something enjoyable. It is definitely something she internalised as a child herself, that sense of not being worthy of such things.

I'm afraid I have a well developed ability to ignore her and do what I want. She does usually see my point when I walk her through it.