If you’re a member of a WhatsApp group but never participate

[Pinkwellies81]

Why don’t you leave?

I’m genuinely interested. I’m on a couple of WhatsApp groups for sporting clubs and each one has several people who never participate in the chat & have never attended one of the group activities. I’m genuinely intrigued why they are there? Doesn’t it annoy them getting all the messages to something that they are presumably not that interested in?!

one of the groups we actually shut down the WhatsApp & started a new one for people who actually turn up to events or participate in the chat, as it was getting disconcerting having all these random silent members…

Years ago I was a blogger and joined a few groups where we could ask each other questions and share our posts etc - i usually ended up muting them 😂 I didn't want to leave them though incase I had a question?

I have one on a long term mute. It relates to a group holiday I went on a couple of years ago, I couldn’t go this year but might want to go to next years so don’t want to leave. They’re all friends.

@Lovetogarden2022 that makes sense.

But why would you remain a member of a cycling or running club WhatsApp if you never attend the rides/runs & never get involved in the chat?

Some people feel a bit awkward leaving? Like when everyone gets a notification saying they've left it can feel a bit rude?

Maybe they are technologically inept and don't know how to leave?

I'm in a hobby specific one that I am rarely able to attend and I keep thinking that I might want to attend one day! That is the only one, the others I leave pretty sharpish once I realise it is of no ongoing interest to me (mostly Bodyshop party invitations)

Maybe because you think it looks rude to leave, or you feel like you never know if something may be useful in the group eventually.

I'm still on my daughter's old schools's class WhatsApp. I am still friendly with them though I've only seen one or two in person since we moved almost year ago. I still like to know what's going on with them, even though I don't contribute. Most of it is where they are going to meet up for coffee that week but sometimes one of them has interesting news.

Im in a few groups I’ve muted because I got sick of 50-100 ‘subs paid’ or ‘thanks hun’ type posts each month.

There are some I don’t participate in that often or read because I don’t spend time glued to my phone so don’t always join in chat. I have to wonder outside
of lockdown who has time to keep up with the multiple whatsapp chats. By the time I do look it’s too late at night to respond and by morning again real life takes over.

I was in a rounders one once but then found I never had the time to attend. I kept meaning to leave the group at a time when nobody was active in it so it was less obvious because I felt weirdly awkward about it. I kept forgetting though and only remembering I was in there when they all started chatting 🙈

Some groups I've archived so I'm still a member but don't see them on my WhatsApp.

I’m in a local Facebook group for friendship and meet-ups.
There’s a lady who posts ‘good morning’ with an unflattering new selfie in her car every morning.
When not enough people reply ‘good morning’ back she gets upset and rants at the group.
She’s 300 miles away from the group’s target area.
So to answer your question, some people are just weird!! 😂

It notifies the other people you’ve left though so you need to leave when it’s quiet or you risk looking like you’ve passive aggressively left. But you also can’t say you’re leaving because then you look like you’re flouncing!

Because of looking rude. But the one I'm in is with the in-laws. Never agreed to join, have never commented and have no interest in any of the chat (we're not close) but it feels a bit much to leave so I have it muted and ignore

one of the groups we actually shut down the WhatsApp & started a new one for people who actually turn up to events or participate in the chat, as it was getting disconcerting having all these random silent members…

Why didn't you just remove them from the group, OP?

Yep some of them are incredibly annoying and you either get added automatically when you join a group or pressured. It can be tricky to leave as everyone sees you go and thinks you don't want to engage in the activity /work etc. Also often I don't bother engaging for the sake of it. I had a work related one that someone would ask a question then get it answered 5 times so that people showed their "engagement " totally pointless. So I didn't wade in with another identical answer just to be seen.

Dp got stuck on a freelance type group and it was a pain he kept having to remember to mute it , however to remove himself was risky as you may not get work as they took it that you weren't accepting work anymore. He spent 6 months replying the odd lol (to really unfunny jokes....this particular group are terribly technical and make patella related jokes and laugh like drains.....although dp won't admit it he finds them funny).

So yeah, they are often a pain in the butt but often leaving it isn't an option and honestly expecting online "engagement" to Foster some bolstered idea of community is a bit crap often , always an extrovert who attempts to make rules about whether someone is engaged enough.

surprised so many people are bothered about appearing rude.

If I wanted to leave the running one for example I’d just message & say “not doing much running these days so I will leave this group, will be in touch if I start running again”

It's maybe more lack of confidence- they may not wish to announce their departure, particularly if they have never attended anything. Or they may be plucking up the courage to go along to something.
Maybe the organisers could have a call out for newbies or members who have never attended and have a special evening for them.

If I've decidedly left some then I will click leave, and if it's something I might need to check now and again, or for future reference, then I might archive and mute the chat (I have several archived).