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Cultural Capital - working class kids

155 replies

MommaGee · 28/06/2022 15:20

I keep hearing the value of cultural capital being talked about on threads and how important it is so I'm wondering what kind of things I should be doing to give my WC kids more cultural capital and keep up with thier wealthier counterparts? DS is 7.

Foreign travel is currently a no die to medical issues.

We currently

  • Visit the Art Galleries near us regularly
  • Take up art and family play sessions at these galleries.
  • One after-school sport and one session booked at Commonwealth Games to watch it - altho he v much does it for fun, not talent
  • Has been to the theatre with me several times to see stuff ike Pinocchio and Animal Farm
  • Go to the cinema altho only for kids movies
  • Is read to nightly and reads himself to sleep altho it's Dav Pilkey
  • Family holidays in Wales are a mix of beach and casino as well as castles, mines etc
  • He's not been to ballet but only because I can't find one suitable

What are we missing?

OP posts:
GOODCAT · 29/06/2022 09:15

I know what you mean OP I grew up in a middle class family. Both my parents had a working class background and were the first generation to go to uni. I went to a state school. I had access to books and interested parents who made time for their own hobbies which made a big difference and grew up in a rural environment and I now have a well paid professional career.

However, I find my privately educated peers virtually all listen to radio 4, read a newspaper and have interests in everything from sport to history and can talk about all of it and are genuinely curious too. Their knowledge of grammar is one thing I definitely lack. My interests have been much narrower.

The one thing some of them are missing is a connection to the physical world so they can't wire up an electrical circuit, repair stuff or basically think in 3D and make anything or envisage how something might work like a skyscraper or car engine or understand how materials work together. They are still interested and curious about it though.

itrytomakemyway · 29/06/2022 09:23

I echo something said way back on the thread. get him talking to older generations in the family. Learn aout lived history. My son benefitted beyond measure with the time he was able to spend with his great grandfather. Not just learning about his years as a soldier conscripted into WWII but just being with him. It really was wonderful the relationship they had.

Get them reading - lots of varirety. The library is a mos wonderful resource - we all need to use them or risk losing them. Librarians are great for recommending good authors or book series.

A brilliant youtube series is CrashCourse. They cover just about every topic under the sun. I wonder if he would enjoy the challenge of wordle every day too?

Summerwhereareyou · 29/06/2022 09:24

Hi op , exposure to lots of different things.
I have a broad family and ironically the wealthier ones didn't see to have any cultural capital looking back. They had a holiday flat in Lanzarote and didn't go anywhere else at all.
They had no interest or knowledge of culture, theatre etc education in general. Food quite basic and plain...we had far less money but my parents were arty so we had lots of exposure to the art's, DM love the theatre and df art /sport etc.

sunglassesonthetable · 29/06/2022 09:28

*Gosh he’s a little boy not a ‘project ‘

what does he like doing?

I would’ve been bored stiff at art galleries as a child and even a teen*

Yes and I would have LOVED it.

It's just opportunity isn't it? And exposure to different things.

And then hopefully his own interests will develop.

@Wouldloveanother

Comedycook · 29/06/2022 09:30

Fwiw, I'm fairly MC....I did all this stuff with my ds, museums, theatre, loads of books, different experiences blah blah...he's 14 now and spends most of his life on Xbox wearing clothing from sports direct 😂

pushingpoppies · 29/06/2022 09:51

Not just art, but also focus on science museums and reading about science and maths, 'harder' subjects will probably help with future success, and good computer skills like data and coding

Pullandpush · 29/06/2022 09:56

MommaGee · 28/06/2022 17:11

We are doing Panto this year altho they go every year with school (local theatre), currently working on DH for local musical festival in September 😂

He qualifies for the free HT / Summer activities so hoping to use those to widen his experience. He did some Tai Chi over Easter through it.

Middle class kids inherit the right ways of speaking and behaving which make it easier for them to follow their parents into middle class I get that but surely those things can be learnt either actively or through exposure.

@Skelligsfeathers ill give it a try 😂 it'd probably improve my cultural capital.

Re the "it's in the air of Mc/UC homes and cannot be captured" stuff I do understand but other than going back and reliving my life and being "better" there's not much I can do about that.

@MommaGee i agree that these things can be learned.. One thing I have noticed with the mc around here is that they socialise very well with their peers, lots of playdates, tea after school, sleepovers when slightly older maybe y5 /y6.. I think as well as having cultural capital the mc you're wishing to emulate have social capital in bucketfulls...

MuddlerInLaw · 29/06/2022 10:07

Summerwhereareyou · 29/06/2022 09:24

Hi op , exposure to lots of different things.
I have a broad family and ironically the wealthier ones didn't see to have any cultural capital looking back. They had a holiday flat in Lanzarote and didn't go anywhere else at all.
They had no interest or knowledge of culture, theatre etc education in general. Food quite basic and plain...we had far less money but my parents were arty so we had lots of exposure to the art's, DM love the theatre and df art /sport etc.

But they had a holiday flat in Lanzarote! Definitely something they could capitalise on socially - and thus professionally / dynastically / financially …

Who needs an opinion on post-dramatic theatre when you can woo a potential girlfriend / boyfriend / professional contact with endless free beach holidays?

onmywaytooblivion · 29/06/2022 10:23

Comedycook · 29/06/2022 09:30

Fwiw, I'm fairly MC....I did all this stuff with my ds, museums, theatre, loads of books, different experiences blah blah...he's 14 now and spends most of his life on Xbox wearing clothing from sports direct 😂

Same here!

Mine dressed like a road man for most of his teen years and called me bruh

I always had a bit of giggle and let him get on with it... he wouldn't have survived 5 minutes on a council estate in Bromley. Bless him

stayingpositiveifpossible · 29/06/2022 10:24

This is a very interesting and important thread and particularly topical for me where I am right now with DD.

I grew up on a middle class street my dad jokingly used to call 'teachers row'. I had my school education in North Wales. Learned Welsh at school and grew up with my dad on the local council. The other councillors then were ex miners - who understood and talked about latin and greek and learning. The culture around me was rich. My mum and dad had grown up in extreme poverty and my had had 'bettered' himself - my mum had elementary education only as she grew up during the war so she did her G.C.S.Es aged 40 odd. She would buy a Dylan Thomas record of poetry and put it on so we could hear it.

My own marriage in my fourties was messy and the divorce even messier. I was pretty much at ground zero economically when I moved to where we are now - so it was a complete change - it is according to the government index an area of multiple economic deprivation. That affects all kinds of different things - what people expect of themselves, the way they talk, transport links. The rates of people who go to University etc.

Because we had so little money when we came here - no carpet on the floors - couldn't afford it - we used to go to the library every week and DD used to choose six books a week at least. We didn't have computers or any gadgets for years. I just couldn't do it. But I did learn things at home and do further courses and my DD saw me doing that.

I was brought up with the idea that learning was the answer to many things. If you didn't know about something you could get a book and find out. That ability has seen me through many rough patches and certainly through the pandemic when I home schooled for ten months.

Cultural capital is very much on my mind now - as a reality and a concept as DD has now gained places for summer schools at Oxford and Cambridge and one of those is her dream. It feels like a wide bridge for her (and me) to cross right now - not least because I feel I am dealing with the stereotypes of what is perceived to be - 'people who are disadvantaged'. I saw we have been 'economically disadvantaged' but not 'culturally disadvantaged'. We took and take our culture with us. We make culture. We have been refugees and there have been others at DD's school of a diaspora. So I identify with that.

If I had to say anything about cultural capital I would probably say it is about 'owning the room' somehow - feeling as if you are modest about what you know, willing to learn about what you don't know - and knowing that people in different places do things differently.

I am still learning things and filling in gaps.

I have to say - and get political - there are those in government at the moment that despite their Eton background appear to be culturally speaking very impoverished. They appear not to know or want to know how other people live and that creates a problem for them. If you don't know and don't want to know how other people live - then you can't possibly create policies that WORK.

It is absolutely impossible.

Example: Universal Credit and the gap until people are paid.

If you have always had savings to fall back on - and have taken it for granted you have no idea whatsover of what destruction might occur in a person's life if they are without any money coming in for five or six weeks. This matters.

How they feel, weak and tired going to food banks, demoralised, ill, not being able to afford a Covid test. Forced to go to a loan shark and then getting into more debt...

That is why they call Universal Credit - Universal Cruelty.

And then you have been taught that 'poor' people have only themselves to blame. Someone once told me 'the door to poverty is wide but the exit is small'.

Unfortunately - a lot more people are finding that out now .

Cultural capital has many faces. Sometimes it is a means of survival in tough times.

Along the lines of people do not just need bread.

We need and want roses too.

Ragruggers · 29/06/2022 11:09

Do you have a Cub pack nearby? Boys and girls now and so much fun and knowledge earning badges.You are doing so well if all children had such care as your son it would be wonderful.

Cheerfully · 29/06/2022 11:38

@MuddlerInLaw it sounds like I grew up under a rock, I know!

I grew up very rurally in a region of the UK in a large religious family, so perhaps a bit niche.

The news was more focussed on our region, and we were not encouraged to know about or voice any political views at all as it was very sensitive locally.

Limited TV access, and most of the content was frowned upon (people kissing etc) so most movies and comedy ruled out.

I don’t want to completely blame my upbringing as I had access to books and newspapers but I found history and politics horribly dull and abstract.

I am encouraging my kids to watch a bit of satire, and historical movies, to gain some background knowledge organically.

Mumoblue · 29/06/2022 11:47

I don’t understand the hostility towards OP trying to give her son broad experiences.

OP have you considered some kind of kids coding activity? I know there are some online things or subscription boxes you can get. It may not be massively “cultural capital” but I think giving kids an early understanding of technology by coding for fun could give a big leg up.

stayingpositiveifpossible · 29/06/2022 11:56

Ragruggers · 29/06/2022 11:09

Do you have a Cub pack nearby? Boys and girls now and so much fun and knowledge earning badges.You are doing so well if all children had such care as your son it would be wonderful.

I don't have a son.
I said DD.

stayingpositiveifpossible · 29/06/2022 11:57

sorry you meant the OP I apologise

Cheerfully · 29/06/2022 11:58

@MuddlerInLaw And (again, sorry to be nosy) what were your feelings on discovering these perceived lacunae in your knowledge?

Sorry had to go off and Google “lacunae” 😂

I grew up pretending to nod along to stuff I didn’t know about, in terms of everyone talking about a particular movie or something so I generally masked ok.

There were some really embarrassing moments at uni like once I was talking to an American student about the civil war and because he referred to north and south, i assumed it was a war between North America and South America (continents). I also went to a musical about Stalin and only realised the next day when people were discussing it that he was a real person. (Ok off to name change again😬)

stayingpositiveifpossible · 29/06/2022 11:59

the questions the OP are asking are valid and very important ones.

I would second the thing about music.

Or theatre school. The Pauline Quirk Academy has scholarships for people on a low income who are talented.

Pullandpush · 29/06/2022 12:18

I love these threads & I think the op is being realistic, the gap is widening all the time & covid certainly hasn't helped.
Globalisation is going to affect all our kids in years to come... In Britian there is an "as long as the kids are happy" approach to parenting... Kids in many other cultures are pushed to achieve at a very young age... Due to globalisation all these kids will be competing with ours for jobs in years to come.. The OP is absolutely right in trying to give her dc a leg up where she can...

MommaGee · 29/06/2022 16:14

Wouldloveanother · 29/06/2022 08:57

Gosh he’s a little boy not a ‘project ‘

what does he like doing?

I would’ve been bored stiff at art galleries as a child and even a teen

We've tried three after school activities and settled in gymnastics which he loves. He's not very good at it, but he's happy and it fits him.

Our Art gallery is where he also goes for the art classes he loves, we have a wonder around, pick a favourite painting per room, he loves the acoustics in the hallway and the giant window. We aren't spending hours staring a painting and listing ten ways on which they'll do a better job this weekend.

Its often linked with a trip to the coffee shop so he gets cake. Trust me, he enjoys ot
Will he in five years? Who knows.

He loves the theatre and cinema, I suspect that will never change.

He'd love to go to a music gig if I can find one I now he'll enjoy (he's currently desperate to go to We Will Rock You but he's too young)
.

Trust me most of what we do is stuff he loves and the rest is family decision ie where we holiday isn't for him to choose

OP posts:
MommaGee · 29/06/2022 18:55

IdisagreeMrHochhauser · 28/06/2022 18:41

Was taking a 7 year old to the casino tongue in cheek or are you training him to count cards? In which case he won't need to go to university.

Honestly that's far more than my parents ever did. We went to a few museums and only went to the theatre to see a panto. I turned out ok.

I meant arcade, like penny slots etc 😂

OP posts:
MommaGee · 29/06/2022 19:01

resuwen · 29/06/2022 07:34

This. Exposure to as many books, and as many different kinds of books as possible. If he's not yet old enough to read for pleasure, read to him. Visit the library. Buy books from second hand shops. Reading expands the mind and boosts vocabulary, and has a profound effect on children's outcomes.

He does read for pleasure, OK its Dav Pilkey but he reads for pleasure and has loved books forever. He's also read to. Lots of books at home of different levels..

New word learnt - lacunae. Thanks @MuddlerInLaw

OP posts:
MommaGee · 29/06/2022 19:05

I will dig out the myths and legends book I brought waiting for him to be old enough.

Foreign language is going to have to wait

Food is a major issue as he has feeding issues (partly tube fed) with no passion for food and some sensory issues around food prep. Hopefully it's something he can absorb second hand and his brothers will be better until he's of an age to work better through his feeding issues

OP posts:
felulageller · 29/06/2022 19:11

What you do as a parent now is important but what will have more impact is who is peers are in secondary school. Will they be going to the theatre together or drinking in the park?

DuesToTheDirt · 29/06/2022 20:00

felulageller · 29/06/2022 19:11

What you do as a parent now is important but what will have more impact is who is peers are in secondary school. Will they be going to the theatre together or drinking in the park?

Like attracts like - so the child who prefers the theatre to drinking will find friends who are similar. (Unless they rebel of course.) My daughters had various friends at high school but none who were out drinking in parks.

MuddlerInLaw · 29/06/2022 20:09

What one does when children are small and biddable will appear to be of no consequence at all when they’re snarl-y teens who want nothing to do with anything you’ve shown them.

The goal is for them to carry all your nurturing into their lives as young adults when they have to find their way amongst strangers rather than schoolmates. That’s when it will matter.