Hi all,
Yes another burnt out thread. I’m a long-time lurker, first time poster on MN. Seeking some advice with regards to my current living situation.
Background:
Me: FT working mum of 2 DC. I’m also studying part time for a qualification that will improve my prospects/earning potential at work.
DH: Works FT in a high-pressure role. He’s also project managing our house renovation – we are 12 months into the build and hope it will be complete by the end of this year/early next year.
DCs: DD2 has SEN, experienced difficulties in her previous school and was allocated a place at a lovely new school closer to the house. DD1 is still at her current school and will continue till the end of the academic year and join her sister from September. This means we’re doing two separate drop offs and pick ups daily.
We’re currently renting a small flat while the renovations are ongoing. My elderly MIL suffered a bad fall in her home country last year and my DH was not comfortable to leave her on her own. She is now living with us in the flat (DH comes from a background where parents normally live with their adult children – one of the main reasons we bought the house was to bring her over to live with us. Her fall and subsequent poor health expedited the process).
Due to arthritis she is unable to help out with any of the house chores/meal prep and does not like to eat food that isn’t homemade. If I’m ordering a takeaway for the rest of us I have to ensure there is always a home cooked alternative available for her. She generally doesn’t get involved in our affairs and spends the day on her own until everyone returns unless me or DH are WFH (I prefer not being with her all day working in the office ). We have very limited personal space and the overall mood at home isn’t as calm and cosy as I’d like it to be – just feels like everyone’s on guard and under her watchful eye.
I feel completely drained and burnt out and am massively behind on so many of my deadlines. My evenings are spent with DC helping them with homework and getting them ready for bed, and then I’ve got my assignments to crack through and start prepping packed lunches/uniforms/dinner for the next day. DH may spend part of his day on site, and catch up with work and emails in the evening. The weekends are spent taking DCs to swimming and dance classes, doing jobs around the house, planning for the next stage of the reno and if we're lucky seeing friends/family. It doesn’t help that I’m a chronic overthinker and carry a thinking cloud of doom everywhere with me, which affects my mood and my interactions. I don’t have any hobbies and feel like I don’t have the luxury of time to trial something new. I’ve been contemplating for a long time to either leave work or take an extended break to help me recalibrate.
I’m really posting here to vent and get some practical input on how to manage life at present. Here are some thoughts floating through my head:
a) Continue as we are now, put my head down and crack on – life is tough and this is just a rough patch with a light at the end of the tunnel?
b) Reduce hours to part time? I need the money especially given the cost of living crisis and astronomical build costs
c) Ask my GP to sign me off due to stress?
d) Ask for an extension from course providers to allow me more time and give me breathing space now?
e) Any other solutions?