My dad is 70 and lives with my mum in another European country. I'm in the UK.
There's a lot to this and I'll try to keep it concise without drip-feeding so please bare with me.
A few weeks ago my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He chose to have surgery to remove the prostate rather than have gruelling radiotherapy. He wanted to wait until now to have the operation for personal reasons.
He had the surgery on Friday and the admission was expected to be in hospital for around 48 hours then he would continue his recovery at home.
Friday night he was very unwell and deteriorated over the weekend. Yesterday (Sunday) they did two kidney scans as from blood tests it looked like he was in kidney failure. They found his bladder was perforated and his abdominal cavity was full of urine. They told him they would operate today under local anaesthetic to drain this urine and (I assume) repair the perforated bladder.
His oxygen saturation this morning was low (89%) and he has been on oxygen and IV antibiotics since. He's had a chest x-ray but we do not know the results of that yet (dad might do, but my mum doesn't and therefore can't relay info to me). He's been very hot with a high temp. I suspect sepsis.
Tonight my mum has said the plan for tomorrow is to insert catheters (plural) under general anaesthetic but didn't know what for or where. He's been warned he will be in hospital for at least another several days and he's frustrated about this.
Two problems complicate this:
My mum is very unwell. She has an autoimmune condition which causes serious neurological symptoms and fainting. It can be extremely serious to the point of being fatal and dad is terrified about mum being left on her own for a long time. She is not allowed to drive and they only moved house a year ago during lockdown and don't know anyone in the neighbourhood who can help. The pharmacy have agreed to deliver her medication and she can order groceries online. She needs to attend lots of medical appointments and has no way to get there - some are at a hospital 90+ minutes away so getting taxis isn't really an option. I don't know yet if patient transport is available to her.
Secondly, I'm nearly 8 months pregnant and have a 2 year old daughter. Obviously I can't fly over to help support my parents, nor can we drive. My partner and daughter don't have passports and if I deliver the baby over there, we can't get him home by car because newborns shouldn't really be in car seats for longer than about half an hour (they lack core strength and 'slumping' in a car seat can restrict their breathing). I feel completely powerless to do anything to help. This pregnancy is very high risk, I now have placenta praevia on top, and am facing a c-section but can't speak the language either.
A further, less serious worry is that the Internet has gone down in my parents' home and my mum can't get it working. She doesn't have much mobile data for communications.
Obviously my main worry is my dad getting out of there alive. I have no idea what's going to happen to him from here. My other concern is for my mum and her own failing health. No other relatives live over there - we're all in the UK. My mum has three siblings and it's possible one could go over but mum doesn't want visitors as she doesn't feel well enough to be a 'good host' (preparing the bedroom, making meals etc). I realise this can be overcome but my mum is pretty resolute!
Please, if anyone has any medical knowledge or ideas on how I might be able to help in some way, please enlighten me!